Story Tried killing myself at 12 and now I have drug induced psychosis and can hear god.

[infectiousseptic]

It's not like I had a bad life or anything really, like I wasn't being sex trafficked and my mom didn't sell drugs or anything crazy, I mean, I was autistic but totally high functioning, you know? And I just did it in my bath tub. Fast forward nearly a decade and I hear voices now, sometimes feel stuff touching me or hear people breaking in my house. Totally crazy stuff. It's not really like the movies, or maybe I'm not as severe. Like, once I bought a pizza cause it would kill me, welp, pizza didn't kill me and tasted gross, also the driver was kind of freaky (negative) even though i tipped more than 20%, so I REALLY thought that pizza was supposed to kill me, totally looked like they drugged it and wanted it off their hands asap. Whatever. I'm probably gonna order some SN and try to die again, cause it's legal to buy here thankfully. And I'd rather not be the crazy old lazy who hears god, It's only cool when you're younger than 40 and a woman.

 

[maniac116]

But you aren't crazy.
Crazy people don't know they're crazy. The fact that you know they're voices shows that you're aware.I was a psych nurse for years.
Im so sorry you're you're hearing voices. That must be very distressing!

 

[Worndown]

This sounds sporadic. After the episode, you can see the problem. You seem to be at the age additional problems can come to you.
Have you sought any outside assistance?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

And I'd rather not be the crazy old lazy who hears god, It's only cool when you're younger than 40 and a woman.

I don't think being "crazy" is ever cool. Most of the people who try to romanticize mental illness in young women are usually either young girls who don't know any better or creepy men who like to fetishize and take advantage of women they view as being vulnerable. Otherwise, most people don't see it as cool. They see it as concerning.

 

[suffering_mo]

It's not like I had a bad life or anything really, like I wasn't being sex trafficked and my mom didn't sell drugs or anything crazy, I mean, I was autistic but totally high functioning, you know? And I just did it in my bath tub. Fast forward nearly a decade and I hear voices now, sometimes feel stuff touching me or hear people breaking in my house. Totally crazy stuff. It's not really like the movies, or maybe I'm not as severe. Like, once I bought a pizza cause it would kill me, welp, pizza didn't kill me and tasted gross, also the driver was kind of freaky (negative) even though i tipped more than 20%, so I REALLY thought that pizza was supposed to kill me, totally looked like they drugged it and wanted it off their hands asap. Whatever. I'm probably gonna order some SN and try to die again, cause it's legal to buy here thankfully. And I'd rather not be the crazy old lazy who hears god, It's only cool when you're younger than 40 and a woman.

Do you think the psychosis is a result of you trying to kill yourself at age 12?