Tried to coax hubby into buying N or F for me

[nitrogen]

An idea emerged in my head last night that I couldn't get rid of: My hubby has accepted the idea of me storing SN in a bank safety deposit box, why not accept the idea of me storing a better poison, and perhaps even obtain them for me? Problem being, I'm not tech-savvy, don't feel like getting a bunch of things set up while risking the possibility of getting scammed or a visit from the cops. He, on the other hand, has experience with the darknet and is a tech expert. I knew it was gonna be a stretch, but I had to ask.

To make him most receptive to my pleas, I first stuffed him up with his favorite comfort food, gave him a 30 min long blowjob, then watched him play video games.

Me: Well, your long weekend is coming to an end. (yesterday was a national holiday in the US)
Him: I know. But I'm gonna take Friday off so I'll only work 3 days this week (Friday is our 5 yr marriage anniversary). What do you want to do on Friday? Is there anything you want?
Me: Nothing in particular. If I have to think of something, how about you buy me some Nembutal or fentanyl?
Him: Fentanyl? The elephant tranquilizer?
Me: Well, they serve the same purpose as SN, but just a tad more luxury. If you get me either, I'd throw away the SN right away. Nembutal is like a strong sleep aid.
Him: Sound like illegal substances.
Me: Yeah, there are vendors on the darknet. I don't know the ins and outs of it. So could you buy me some?
Him: Are you joking or serious?
Me: Ugh.....it depends on whether you say yes or no.
Him:

Me: So is that a yes or maybe?
Him: Hell no.
Me: Why not? You let me keep SN, what's the difference?
Him: Letting you store SN in a bank safety is the longest distance I can keep you from the deadly poison. I didn't confiscate your SN because you could always easily get more and hide it at home, not because I'm ok with you buying poison.
Me: Aren't you worried about me getting into trouble trying to obtain N or F on my own? You know there are instructions on how to do that.
Him: Right, but you won't make that attempt.
Me: How are you so sure?
Him: Coz you went for SN instead of N or F before I found out you were buying poison.
Me:


I went on sulking on the couch, massaging my stiff jaw.

5 minutes later:
Him: I feel bloated and a bit nauseous. The chicken wings might have been a bit too heavy when I'm sick. Btw, what did you pass onto me? I think I have a fever and muscle aches. Feels more like flu than a common cold.
Me: Either a plague or STD. I might have something that can help.

Me fumbling through a box of medications: Here's a pill of meto.

He took it. About an hr later he said it's working well. Me: Damn right, I have magic pills. (Hubby doesn't know SN comes with a whole regimen).

Ohh well. I tried and failed miserably. Good thing he didn't have another breakdown.

Edit: I only have strong suicidal ideation, but no intent. Hoarding poison just gives me peace of mind that when I need a peaceful exit in the future, I'll have it available. I promised my hubby I won't ctb on him. He trusted my words so I'm determined to keep my promise. Won't fail him and my family.

 

[issyishere]

This seems like a bad idea. It also passes the guilt and maybe legal issues onto him if he does go through with it and you end up ctb.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I am just guessing, but i think this is a compromise that he reached with you where he thinks the idea of your suicide is still totally inaccessible. I don't think there's more forethought into this that would allow for what you are suggesting.

I think you should be careful about continuing to raise more alarms with him about what your plans are, if you really do intend to CTB.

This seems like a bad idea. It also passes the guilt and maybe legal issues onto him if he does go through with it and you end up ctb.

Both valid points above. Plus I think sweetening him up with good food, blowjobs, and attention probably had the opposite effect. Why would he want to lose you when you give him all these good things?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

An idea emerged in my head last night that I couldn't get rid of: My hubby has accepted the idea of me storing SN in a bank safety deposit box, why not accept the idea of me storing a better poison, and perhaps even obtain them for me? Problem being, I'm not tech-savvy, don't feel like getting a bunch of things set up while risking the possibility of getting scammed or a visit from the cops. He, on the other hand, has experience with the darknet and is a tech expert. I knew it was gonna be a stretch, but I had to ask.

To make him most receptive to my pleas, I first stuffed him up with his favorite comfort food, gave him a 30 min long blowjob, then watched him play video games.

Me: Well, your long weekend is coming to an end. (yesterday was a national holiday in the US)
Him: I know. But I'm gonna take Friday off so I'll only work 3 days this week (Friday is our 5 yr marriage anniversary). What do you want to do on Friday? Is there anything you want?
Me: Nothing in particular. If I have to think of something, how about you buy me some Nembutal or fentanyl?
Him: Fentanyl? The elephant tranquilizer?
Me: Well, they serve the same purpose as SN, but just a tad more luxury. If you get me either, I'd throw away the SN right away. Nembutal is like a strong sleep aid.
Him: Sound like illegal substances.
Me: Yeah, there are vendors on the darknet. I don't know the ins and outs of it. So could you buy me some?
Him: Are you joking or serious?
Me: Ugh.....it depends on whether you say yes or no.
Him:
View attachment 25266
Me: So is that a yes or maybe?
Him: Hell no.
Me: Why not? You let me keep SN, what's the difference?
Him: Letting you store SN in a bank safety is the longest distance I can keep you from the deadly poison. I didn't confiscate your SN because you could always easily get more and hide it at home, not because I'm ok with you buying poison.
Me: Aren't you worried about me getting into trouble trying to obtain N or F on my own? You know there are instructions on how to do that.
Him: Right, but you won't make that attempt.
Me: How are you so sure?
Him: Coz you went for SN instead of N or F before I found out you were buying poison.
Me:
View attachment 25268

I went on sulking on the couch, massaging my stiff jaw.

5 minutes later:
Him: I feel bloated and a bit nauseous. The chicken wings might have been a bit too heavy when I'm sick. Btw, what did you pass onto me? I think I have a fever and muscle aches. Feels more like flu than a common cold.
Me: Either a plague or STD. I might have something that can help.

Me fumbling through a box of medications: Here's a pill of meto.

He took it. About an hr later he said it's working well. Me: Damn right, I have magic pills. (Hubby doesn't know SN comes with a whole regimen).

Ohh well. I tried and failed miserably. Good thing he didn't have another breakdown.

Edit: I only have strong suicidal ideation, but no intent. Hoarding poison just gives me peace of mind that when I need a peaceful exit in the future, I'll have it available. I promised my hubby I won't ctb on him. He trusted my words so I'm determined to keep my promise. Won't fail him and my family.

Sorry he wasn't more receptive to you trying to get N or F … I doubt that most people would be though... especially family.
If you would manage to CTB with his help getting N or F, I'm sure he would feel a lot of guilt … not to mention any legal ramifications.

As far as hoarding poison, I'm not sure what the shelf life is... if you are going to wait years down the road. I have heard that N powder (almost impossible to obtain) has a very long shelf life. Liquid N does come with expiration dates but I'm sure it lasts longer than that. Perhaps not years though.

 

[1DayItWillBover]

not feeling it