Trying to find my willpower

[braketimez]

I want to keep exploring different possible routes of recovery (depression, fatigue, and anxiety), but most of me has given up.
What are things you all do to keep your willpower alive and continue searching for answers?

 

[Blutsager]

Me? My mom, as I have mentioned many times before. She is truly an angel. She has dedicated her entire life to help others, in all forms of charity you may think of. She has been in hospitals, prisons, on poor neighborhoods and some of the furthest and most isolated parts of my country, to visit isolated or native communities. She has worked with mentally ill, rapists and victims alike, elder, disabled, and much more. From donations, to puppet shows, to simply being there to give them a beautiful speech.
We are together on this quarantine now. She is 57, and had pneumonia two times on her life before. She isn't in the worse situation, her lounges are rather fine, but certainly age and those two episodes on her life mean that she isn't at the top of her game. So this virus will most likely not spare her.
I think even if she leaves me I am gonna stay around regardless. I'll try to preserver her legacy. Not her name or her achievements, I am certain she wouldn't want that, but her care for others. I'll try to take her flag and move on with it. I am certain I will never achieve the wonderful things she has done for others, but... I'll try to at least make her proud as she observes me from the afterlife.

This is my most optimistic view of things. On the opposite end I got a bag of SN on a drawer waiting to be used, so...

For the time being, she is an incredible encouragement to keep going. To have hope that this night will end, and that the sun will shine again.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

I want to keep exploring different possible routes of recovery (depression, fatigue, and anxiety), but most of me has given up.
What are things you all do to keep your willpower alive and continue searching for answers?

I personally feel like I just exist.. I'm not really looking for answers anymore or ways to get better. Mostly for me it's just getting the stuff I need to end it when I need to end it, but still being scared to do it right now (obviously I'm still here)..

 

[Sensei]

I know the feeling all too well. I try to think less and just be, what normal people do effortlessly every day. That's easier said than done, obviously.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I want to keep exploring different possible routes of recovery (depression, fatigue, and anxiety), but most of me has given up.
What are things you all do to keep your willpower alive and continue searching for answers?

Anger. Carefully channelled and directed anger. I use the dark side of the Force. It's not good, it's not clever, but it is better than giving up.

 

[randomz]

I want to keep exploring different possible routes of recovery (depression, fatigue, and anxiety), but most of me has given up.
What are things you all do to keep your willpower alive and continue searching for answers?

I take meds and try to distract myself from the problems. It does not always help, sometimes it's even bad but it's better than nothing I guess.

 

[Quarky00]

Anger. Carefully channelled and directed anger. I use the dark side of the Force. It's not good, it's not clever, but it is better than giving up.

Anger is for pussies . And it also creates stress . Try hate . Blind hatred .

 

[braketimez]

Anger is for pussies . And it also creates stress . Try hate . Blind hatred .

I feel like hatred is channeled anger.