• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
Lavínia

Lavínia

plalace
Feb 19, 2024
70
My bf broke up with me. I spent two months getting to know my new job, adapting, meeting people, trying to quickly reach some goal, some conclusion. My bf was like a job, yeah. He took up a lot of my mind. What does he think? What can I do for him? How am I going to talk to him today? What are the plans? What do I wear? How do I look? How do I think? Blah, Blah, Blah. Obviously everything became empty and I was kind of lost in all of this... and then I decided to talk to him again. We broke up on good terms, and we talked normally afterwards. But it was so empty... so...so... I felt more and more that "this doesn't seem real". Now, with this ending, my job... became routine, with one crisis or another but still routine. I'm just living... day... day... day... and another day.

In a conversation with my psychologist we talked about a feeling I've always had. That things should end. When I was a child and had a really good day, I would lie in bed and think: "I did everything well, got good grades, talked a lot, managed to express what I feel, my responsibilities... everything was perfect... it could end here...". But it never ended, a new day came, and another. When that good feeling came back, the cycle repeated.
My psychologist talked about the cycle and routine, how everything is based on repetition, again, again, again. I already knew that, but seeing her talking and trying to make it beautiful or poetic... motivating? That's when I had a click in my head, I realized that this was a big part of my suffering, and it was the first time I felt disgusted by something. Such grotesque disgust, such revulsion... but there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm continuing with the routine. There are still 2 years until the date I set to use SN. I don't know if that's too much or too little time. Even the agony is getting monotonous. I need to do something, have something. But it seems so fake.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: ViniTerrible, Redacted24, YellowNeko1908 and 1 other person

Similar threads

Yume Nikki
Replies
4
Views
254
Recovery
devils~advocate
devils~advocate
Unhumanly.
Replies
1
Views
144
Suicide Discussion
ExitLight
E
shadows_and_silence
Replies
5
Views
343
Suicide Discussion
divinemistress36
divinemistress36
saturn1402
Replies
8
Views
192
Suicide Discussion
bobblong
B