"Trying to make things better, only makes them worse"

[cherries.in.nyc]

This is what I said a month ago to my therapist before stopping sessions. I don't want to try to make things better again. But hey, sometimes there are some things you "have" to do. And even these things backfire on me. It is getting hilarious how horribly wrong things are going for me. I am going to be fired from my job on Thursday after being placed on a PIP by a psychopathic boss. I have no idea how I will afford rent, food, anything. etc. I heard I may not even get unemployment. And even if i do, it won't be enough. Anyway - I went to file my taxes and for some reason I owe the federal government hundreds from last year. It is money I don't have, and since I don't have income now, I have no idea when I will. How fucking hilarious that the most basic shit is backfiring in the most insidious ways. I am so glad I know where to find SN...I just need to amp myself up to buy.