alienfreak
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- Sep 25, 2024
- 319
It bothers me greatly that i think it is impossible for me to find a romantic partner. Recovery to me would require having a path toward trying to solve this. Everything i read makes me think there is no hope. However, my knowledge of dating is extremely limited, so i wonder if other people will have useful ideas, especially since some of the user-base here seems surprisingly similar to me.
About me: early 30s, male, gay. Inexperienced. Timid, shy, anxious disposition. Strange person that does not get along well with the average person. I only want to seek a meaningful long-term relationship.
I think my characteristics make it difficult, but if i could find some other freak somewhat like myself it could work. But i dont know how to find anyone like myself, because the only way i socialise is writing strange posts on a suicide forum.
I can only think of a few methods to potentially solve this.
Method 1: Naturally meeting someone. Very unlikely to work if you're gay and dont have a social lifestyle. I have an extremely unsocial lifestyle and dont have any desire to interact at typical gay communities or bars, etc. If i intentionally put myself in social places that i wouldn't normally go, then i feel that i am being inauthentic and will only be exposed to people that i wont pair well with. Even if i were to intentionally try to be more social, i think it would take 10+ years to find anyone. It's too slow and inefficient.
Method 2: Apps like Grindr. I have no desire to engage in hookup culture. I dont think i could even physically have sex with someone i just met for the first time. So i dont think this will work. I dont even know what i would say to someone if i tried to chat with them on there. I dont know how to talk to people in that situation. I am obsessed with privacy and i know all apps like this are an unmitigated horror when it comes to that.
Method 3: other apps or websites that are intended for relationships rather than hookups. These must exist, right? I think they must exist but they seem like a myth. What even are they? Everything i find seems to only be for casual hookups in practice.
Am i missing anything obvious or am i delusional in some way? I feel like i dont understand any of this stuff or how it is meant to work. It all seems twisted and counterintuitive.
Part of me feels like i should just install Grindr and maybe i avoid it only because of fear. But i really do feel like it will go very badly, there is genuine risk to using it and it may be a mistake.
About me: early 30s, male, gay. Inexperienced. Timid, shy, anxious disposition. Strange person that does not get along well with the average person. I only want to seek a meaningful long-term relationship.
I think my characteristics make it difficult, but if i could find some other freak somewhat like myself it could work. But i dont know how to find anyone like myself, because the only way i socialise is writing strange posts on a suicide forum.
I can only think of a few methods to potentially solve this.
Method 1: Naturally meeting someone. Very unlikely to work if you're gay and dont have a social lifestyle. I have an extremely unsocial lifestyle and dont have any desire to interact at typical gay communities or bars, etc. If i intentionally put myself in social places that i wouldn't normally go, then i feel that i am being inauthentic and will only be exposed to people that i wont pair well with. Even if i were to intentionally try to be more social, i think it would take 10+ years to find anyone. It's too slow and inefficient.
Method 2: Apps like Grindr. I have no desire to engage in hookup culture. I dont think i could even physically have sex with someone i just met for the first time. So i dont think this will work. I dont even know what i would say to someone if i tried to chat with them on there. I dont know how to talk to people in that situation. I am obsessed with privacy and i know all apps like this are an unmitigated horror when it comes to that.
Method 3: other apps or websites that are intended for relationships rather than hookups. These must exist, right? I think they must exist but they seem like a myth. What even are they? Everything i find seems to only be for casual hookups in practice.
Am i missing anything obvious or am i delusional in some way? I feel like i dont understand any of this stuff or how it is meant to work. It all seems twisted and counterintuitive.
Part of me feels like i should just install Grindr and maybe i avoid it only because of fear. But i really do feel like it will go very badly, there is genuine risk to using it and it may be a mistake.
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