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time2go

Student
Mar 5, 2019
126
If I had the capacity too hang myself I'd be long gone. I've found myself with a noose around my neck, afew times but never followed through. Not because I didn't want too die, but because of the aftermath. Living in a small town I know id either be found hanging by someone I know, or a child out playing in the woods. Even though I wouldn't be able too know, I just couldn't put someone through the trauma.

I decided too go with charcoal, and have all the items gathered, and a place where I could be alone all night in mind. Sorted. But too be sure I started gathering all needed for the SN method, too be used hand in hand with the charcoal too be absolutely sure I won't wake up. Just waiting on the Tagamet which should be here within 3 weeks.

But this morning when I woke up from another night of dreaming of my past glories, my very first thought was how I'd like too go in my own bed. A Friday night after another exhausting weeks work, stay awake til about 3am. Have my pills and the SN, a couple shots of vodka and hit the lights, ideally forever. I'd be left alone for a long time, about 4 hours before anyone awakens. And no one would disturb me for hours after as it's a regular thing for me these days too sleep for as long as I can. But I have 2 worries, having seizure and waking someone up who would save me. And being found dead, I know it would be my mum who finds me. It would be her who would realise I'd been asleep for a very long time. And I know she would think that if she had checked earlier, she could have saved me.

So however I end up doing this, I'm going too do it. And I know it's going too cause pain, but I want too minimalise that as much as I can.
 
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Jupiter

Jupiter

Specialist
Nov 23, 2018
384
Are you living with your mum in the same flat?
 
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Jupiter

Jupiter

Specialist
Nov 23, 2018
384
My advice would be to lock the door. It will probably take a man to break the lock. So your mum won't be alone in the moment you are found.
 
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time2go

Student
Mar 5, 2019
126
My advice would be to lock the door. It will probably take a man to break the lock. So your mum won't be alone in the moment you are found.
True but I'd have too get a lock fitted first!
 
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DepressionsAHo

DepressionsAHo

Heaven gained a new ho
Feb 15, 2019
831
If I had the capacity too hang myself I'd be long gone. I've found myself with a noose around my neck, afew times but never followed through. Not because I didn't want too die, but because of the aftermath. Living in a small town I know id either be found hanging by someone I know, or a child out playing in the woods. Even though I wouldn't be able too know, I just couldn't put someone through the trauma.

I decided too go with charcoal, and have all the items gathered, and a place where I could be alone all night in mind. Sorted. But too be sure I started gathering all needed for the SN method, too be used hand in hand with the charcoal too be absolutely sure I won't wake up. Just waiting on the Tagamet which should be here within 3 weeks.

But this morning when I woke up from another night of dreaming of my past glories, my very first thought was how I'd like too go in my own bed. A Friday night after another exhausting weeks work, stay awake til about 3am. Have my pills and the SN, a couple shots of vodka and hit the lights, ideally forever. I'd be left alone for a long time, about 4 hours before anyone awakens. And no one would disturb me for hours after as it's a regular thing for me these days too sleep for as long as I can. But I have 2 worries, having seizure and waking someone up who would save me. And being found dead, I know it would be my mum who finds me. It would be her who would realise I'd been asleep for a very long time. And I know she would think that if she had checked earlier, she could have saved me.

So however I end up doing this, I'm going too do it. And I know it's going too cause pain, but I want too minimalise that as much as I can.
Sucks as it might, don't commit suicide at your house. It'll devalue your property, and the image of your lifeless body will forever be imprinted in your mother's mind. That does a lot of damage to people Hun. If you don't want someone finding your body besides law enforcement, don't do it at home (your mom's not gonna listen to a sign saying call authorities) and leave signs for strangers saying call authorities
 
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time2go

Student
Mar 5, 2019
126
Sucks as it might, don't commit suicide at your house. It'll devalue your property, and the image of your lifeless body will forever be imprinted in your mother's mind. That does a lot of damage to people Hun. If you don't want someone finding your body besides law enforcement, don't do it at home (your mom's not gonna listen to a sign saying call authorities) and leave signs for strangers saying call authorities
Very good point, was concentrating too much on going in my own bed. Definetly will consider options.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
im undecided too... probably a hotel room back in my home town.... with air conditioner at 16°C to keep my body not so badly decomposed...

but im still unsure.... I just know that I either do it... or stop thinking about it..... its not good thinking about it and not doing it.... I am not able to perform at my job! damn... and why do i care if Im gonna die right?

damm... I dunno... but whichever my thoughts go... still ctb is seems like the best alternative
 
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EphemeralDream

Member
Mar 8, 2019
21
im undecided too... probably a hotel room back in my home town.... with air conditioner at 16°C to keep my body not so badly decomposed...

You can always hang a sign or call in for scheduled house keeping so they can find your body easily. I think hotel is also the place for me.
 
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