Unemployment impeding recovery -- anyone else struggling with this?

[bpdwriter]

Hi everyone,

It's my first post here but I've been a long-time lurker who loves the community and openness everyone brings. Currently I'm going through my list of "trying everything I could to make it" as a part of me is still wanting to be here. A big issue in this is, unfortunately, the crap job market.

Short background: I graduated with an advanced degree in June and haven't found a full-time job. I look everyday, despite my depression. I'm grateful to live with my dad who is patient with me, but it's so hard to think of reasons to want to live and stick around after the cycle of constant rejections and inevitable student debt slowly approaching. I know I don't have it as bad as people who've been doing it for years, but honestly? I don't think I'm making it to the end of next month. Already I'm suffering health issues the doctor is owing to stress. Not a day goes by where I don't feel guilty for taking up space and how it would be easier for my father financially if I wasn't around.

Looking for any shared experiences or kind words. Today was a hard day,

 

[R. A.]

I'm being kept alive by insufficient disability support so it's a bit different for me - shit keeps going wrong preventing me from even looking for / doing work, so the benefit of the extra income and purpose (if not a soul-siphoning job) that might come from work (not that finding any is possible these days, as you say) feels forever out of reach. Just draining savings till I end up on the street and/or in some other godforsaken situation, I guess

 

[trying ungracefully]

I haven't worked since I was probably 17 and I've never had a real job. I did an internship at the forest for a bit and then dog walking for years but that was only two family's a few times a year.

I have bad social anxiety that turned into borderline agoraphobia. It sucks because I keep back sliding. I'll go out by myself for a bit but then I'll stay in the house for months because it gets too much.

I have no idea how I am going to get a job any time soon. I know the steps but the trouble is actually pushing myself to get there. I want a job so bad even though I know it will fuck with me in a different way. I hate feeling so lazy and there is not so much to do in 14-16 hours awake. I hate sleeping so much but there is nothing else to do. I get bored of being on my phone, watching shows, and reading.

A decent portion of my depression is caused by me not having a job. It's hard getting out of bed everyday knowing I have no true purpose except to stay alive.