Silverstars
Ande’thoras-ethil 'May your troubles be diminished
- Nov 11, 2024
- 9
My Husband stoped seeing the mother of our child's friend and became bitter and nasty toward me and our child. The belittiling condecending blaming remarks he used to do to me before our son was born that had stopped until October.
He made one remark to me about the other woman that she is loyal to a fault and when i asked what that meant he said forget it. But about 2 weeks ago he became very happy and kind again. I now know he began a phone (he hates talking on the phone) relationship with a woman north of us in another country. He has had long conversations with her for an hour or more every night in the kitchen or in the room next to mine. He is loud. I can hear all of his side of it and sometimes her side. They talk about our son and his daily life and how she would be an amazing mother to him. They talk about their future together their family's and childhoods, how he will fit in nicely with her family and she is his and more. All the things he said to me at the start of our 14 years.
I have yet to hear him mention me. Other than saying "things always happen for a reason".
Our son has told me he talks with her on speaker phone during the day and she listens while daddy reads him stories at night and she is sending him christmas presents. I asked my husband about this, the story and present, and he told me that about sums it up. I asked him what he would call this friend ship and he said just that. He also suddenly wants to take a trip to the a and city she is from because he hasn't been there in 20 years. But not with me. Just him and our son.
Ive gone back to church and wanted to explode this stress and ask for help to everyone that talked to me but managed restraint and I lied for him. Felt dirty. I have shared all this with my parents (who I now know have always loved me and always knew I was being abused but could not legally stop me but my husband told me they didn't love me and so much more, my memory's are/were warped, my parents went through all 14 years with me and I am getting my memory back and can see so much trama now) my therapist and physical therapist and a trusted coworker. Everyone pitched in and paid for the start of the divorce. Nonrefundable double digits.
There is no going back now. There is a shit ton of paper work ahead and a-lot of me writing down everything I can from 14 years to show the patterns. As I unfold and understand just what happened to me I am seeing him do it to my son. He is buying massive amounts of gifts for him right now and he blew all of our saving (my saving because its what I set aside) AGAIN. 8,000. One month. Where? Multiple 500 payments to the joint credit card I cant access.
He informed me today an appraise will be here this week to se how much our home is worth. He is just curious. Im sure there is no other reason.
I am not so much suicidal now as depressed but angry, defeated and overwhelmed at the same time. I have lost 20 lbs in less than 3 months. And i was already under weight. But my health problems are slowly being solved and my husband cant even hide his affair at work so my coworkers are silently supporting me through the one I confided in.
I am being told to stay silent but i want to scream. I am writing this now while he tells her he cant wait to meet her parents and I want to walk out there but m coworker said let him dig his own grave. My therapist and parents said to keep actong happy and loving and serve him papers out of nowhere. Keep recording. Gathering. Biding.
But idonwanna. I want to slap him with a cast iron skillet some days and other just
Dive away
With or without my child and just be done.
My dad beat into my head everything gets worse before it gets better but its just me any more. It's a small child being used to further his goals and to hurt and manipulate me. He is emotinally and mentally abusing my child now just as he does to me.
And I can see it.
All of it.
I cannot see a good way out of this. My child needs limited acess to his father. Even if I continue 5o cry randomly hugging myself in a corner thats still better than being exposed to multiple flings and being used to attract his next target.
I want to be vindictive and petty. I want to file for separation instead of divorce. Then he always has to carry that title, that reminder, and live in adultery and complicate all his future relationships. By me paying and initiating a divorce its giving him a free ticket out.
My focus is full custody but I want to leve this paper hanging over his head in a way he cannot gaslight and deny its existence.
The weather here is bad (yay winter) and I work 15 hour days and often sleep in my car overnight between shifts. I have hope that one of these future night I just wont wake uo again. Or a semi will crush me in my car like the one did for 2 people recently.
He made one remark to me about the other woman that she is loyal to a fault and when i asked what that meant he said forget it. But about 2 weeks ago he became very happy and kind again. I now know he began a phone (he hates talking on the phone) relationship with a woman north of us in another country. He has had long conversations with her for an hour or more every night in the kitchen or in the room next to mine. He is loud. I can hear all of his side of it and sometimes her side. They talk about our son and his daily life and how she would be an amazing mother to him. They talk about their future together their family's and childhoods, how he will fit in nicely with her family and she is his and more. All the things he said to me at the start of our 14 years.
I have yet to hear him mention me. Other than saying "things always happen for a reason".
Our son has told me he talks with her on speaker phone during the day and she listens while daddy reads him stories at night and she is sending him christmas presents. I asked my husband about this, the story and present, and he told me that about sums it up. I asked him what he would call this friend ship and he said just that. He also suddenly wants to take a trip to the a and city she is from because he hasn't been there in 20 years. But not with me. Just him and our son.
Ive gone back to church and wanted to explode this stress and ask for help to everyone that talked to me but managed restraint and I lied for him. Felt dirty. I have shared all this with my parents (who I now know have always loved me and always knew I was being abused but could not legally stop me but my husband told me they didn't love me and so much more, my memory's are/were warped, my parents went through all 14 years with me and I am getting my memory back and can see so much trama now) my therapist and physical therapist and a trusted coworker. Everyone pitched in and paid for the start of the divorce. Nonrefundable double digits.
There is no going back now. There is a shit ton of paper work ahead and a-lot of me writing down everything I can from 14 years to show the patterns. As I unfold and understand just what happened to me I am seeing him do it to my son. He is buying massive amounts of gifts for him right now and he blew all of our saving (my saving because its what I set aside) AGAIN. 8,000. One month. Where? Multiple 500 payments to the joint credit card I cant access.
He informed me today an appraise will be here this week to se how much our home is worth. He is just curious. Im sure there is no other reason.
I am not so much suicidal now as depressed but angry, defeated and overwhelmed at the same time. I have lost 20 lbs in less than 3 months. And i was already under weight. But my health problems are slowly being solved and my husband cant even hide his affair at work so my coworkers are silently supporting me through the one I confided in.
I am being told to stay silent but i want to scream. I am writing this now while he tells her he cant wait to meet her parents and I want to walk out there but m coworker said let him dig his own grave. My therapist and parents said to keep actong happy and loving and serve him papers out of nowhere. Keep recording. Gathering. Biding.
But idonwanna. I want to slap him with a cast iron skillet some days and other just
Dive away
With or without my child and just be done.
My dad beat into my head everything gets worse before it gets better but its just me any more. It's a small child being used to further his goals and to hurt and manipulate me. He is emotinally and mentally abusing my child now just as he does to me.
And I can see it.
All of it.
I cannot see a good way out of this. My child needs limited acess to his father. Even if I continue 5o cry randomly hugging myself in a corner thats still better than being exposed to multiple flings and being used to attract his next target.
I want to be vindictive and petty. I want to file for separation instead of divorce. Then he always has to carry that title, that reminder, and live in adultery and complicate all his future relationships. By me paying and initiating a divorce its giving him a free ticket out.
My focus is full custody but I want to leve this paper hanging over his head in a way he cannot gaslight and deny its existence.
The weather here is bad (yay winter) and I work 15 hour days and often sleep in my car overnight between shifts. I have hope that one of these future night I just wont wake uo again. Or a semi will crush me in my car like the one did for 2 people recently.
