‼️Updated method of drugs + drowning?

[oooops]

Sorry for all the posts i don't know how to use this website properly and i just want to be sure of what i'm doing with CTB.

So i've researched about it and read what some people have replied to my other threads and instead of overdosing on pills where that might just make me throw up, what i might do is:

1. fast for a day or less, just in general have an empty stomach but maybe eat some kimchi or something VERY small before i actually start the plan (sounds stupid but maybe the probiotics will help my body absorb the drugs faster although i doubt it , the food is just so i don't feel too nauseous from hunger pangs)

2. take a few promethazine pills (1 pill an hour or two before) as a potential antiemetic or whatever it's called (to help with nausea) (or even just as a placebo)

3. then maybe a couple more maybe 3/4 (still have to figure out) roughly half an hour after that with a quite small amount of seroquel (just for extra sedation although it probably won't do anything),

4. drink some alcohol (still need to figure out how much to not throw up or black out before i can go through with the plan),

5. get in the tub and make the bath as hot as i can tolerate without pain or discomfort, i'll probably run the bath a bit earlier tho as it might waste time before i potentially black out and also i'll put 2/4kg ankle weights on my neck and maybe 1kg around my ankles (all i have)

6. then do as much ketamine as i can in the tub (i'll bring a small table with me in the bathroom and maybe put some netflix show on my laptop too), i'll have to do it nasally but i need to research whether i can take it orally too, if so i'll take it a bit earlier orally as well as snorting). i'll probably buy around 3-5 grams as my tolerance for ket is very high

7. once the timing is right i will hyperventilate a bit then do as much NOS as i can with a balloon until i fully pass out, then hopefully drown in the tub. i'll buy 2 smartwhips (large NOS container if you don't know what that is)

8. if i wake up, if i am both physically and mentally capable of doing it again, ill just do more ket and more NOS until it works? maybe?

the idea with this is to try make my body as incapable as i can of having SI. i know many celebrities have died the same(ish) way so if i can get this perfectly right i should be able to CTB without even realising, or at least just a lot easier than other methods i've seen and tried

this will be the first time i'm attempting to drown so i'm quite nervous

note: Instead of seroquel i may take some xanax or valium if i can find it. But i might not even take the seroquel anyways i'm not too sure i just want to calm my nerves down a little bit.

is there anything about this you would change to optimise it? maybe quantities or time frame etc idk.

 

[oooops]

i probably won't but i have a weird feeling i might do this tonight (but then again i feel like this most days). today i will get the NOS and maybe the ket depending on the guy
also scrapping the xans/quetapine, the promethazine and alvohol should do the trick for getting me sedated. i just need to get this right

 

[oooops]

rip i probably can't get it today the guy isn't answering fml. then again it's sunday. it's probably better to do this during the day when my neighbours are probably at work because the sound of the NOS is going to be really loud

 

[losi]

i wish i had a tub to drown.

 

[oooops]

i wish i had a tub to drown.

i got quite lucky to move in recently to a place with one, before that i was thinking about going to a hotel or something like that to use their tub

 

[oooops]

Sorry for all the posts i don't know how to use this website properly and i just want to be sure of what i'm doing with CTB.

So i've researched about it and read what some people have replied to my other threads and instead of overdosing on pills where that might just make me throw up, what i might do is:

1. fast for a day or less, just in general have an empty stomach but maybe eat some kimchi or something VERY small before i actually start the plan (sounds stupid but maybe the probiotics will help my body absorb the drugs faster although i doubt it , the food is just so i don't feel too nauseous from hunger pangs)

2. take a few promethazine pills (1 pill an hour or two before) as a potential antiemetic or whatever it's called (to help with nausea) (or even just as a placebo)

3. then maybe a couple more maybe 3/4 (still have to figure out) roughly half an hour after that with a quite small amount of seroquel (just for extra sedation although it probably won't do anything),

4. drink some alcohol (still need to figure out how much to not throw up or black out before i can go through with the plan),

5. get in the tub and make the bath as hot as i can tolerate without pain or discomfort, i'll probably run the bath a bit earlier tho as it might waste time before i potentially black out and also i'll put 2/4kg ankle weights on my neck and maybe 1kg around my ankles (all i have)

6. then do as much ketamine as i can in the tub (i'll bring a small table with me in the bathroom and maybe put some netflix show on my laptop too), i'll have to do it nasally but i need to research whether i can take it orally too, if so i'll take it a bit earlier orally as well as snorting). i'll probably buy around 3-5 grams as my tolerance for ket is very high

7. once the timing is right i will hyperventilate a bit then do as much NOS as i can with a balloon until i fully pass out, then hopefully drown in the tub. i'll buy 2 smartwhips (large NOS container if you don't know what that is)

8. if i wake up, if i am both physically and mentally capable of doing it again, ill just do more ket and more NOS until it works? maybe?

the idea with this is to try make my body as incapable as i can of having SI. i know many celebrities have died the same(ish) way so if i can get this perfectly right i should be able to CTB without even realising, or at least just a lot easier than other methods i've seen and tried

this will be the first time i'm attempting to drown so i'm quite nervous

note: Instead of seroquel i may take some xanax or valium if i can find it. But i might not even take the seroquel anyways i'm not too sure i just want to calm my nerves down a little bit.

is there anything about this you would change to optimise it? maybe quantities or time frame etc idk.

whether this will work or not, tbh if no one replies i'll still do it anyways, i am so desperate to die despite this unnatural feeling of death so fuck it, this is what i'll do, and i'll pray it works, bc it's not an od i can just try again until it does, i don't care for the consequences because i'm already fucked up anyways, maybe tomorrow (monday) or tuesday i will go. notes for people are already written ( amongst a few, a particularly horrible one to my ex, even if he didn't deserve it neither did i the little cunt) i hope to really genuinely die. i really hope this will work. the first time i attempted was 10/11. i am 19. apart from the last 2 aand a half years i never stopped trying. i really hope it's time. please god don't give me that stupid luck u always gave me. i don't need it. i really hope this works. i really ducking hope this works. i can't live like this without fucking up every single thing in my life including the council flat i've been given for free. i can't fuck this up. i won't.

 

[oooops]

whether this will work or not, tbh if no one replies i'll still do it anyways, i am so desperate to die despite this unnatural feeling of death so fuck it, this is what i'll do, and i'll pray it works, bc it's not an od i can just try again until it does, i don't care for the consequences because i'm already fucked up anyways, maybe tomorrow (monday) or tuesday i will go. notes for people are already written ( amongst a few, a particularly horrible one to my ex, even if he didn't deserve it neither did i the little cunt) i hope to really genuinely die. i really hope this will work. the first time i attempted was 10/11. i am 19. apart from the last 2 aand a half years i never stopped trying. i really hope it's time. please god don't give me that stupid luck u always gave me. i don't need it. i really hope this works. i really ducking hope this works. i can't live like this without fucking up every single thing in my life including the council flat i've been given for free. i can't fuck this up. i won't.

and if i survive, i'll try again. as always. i don't care to wait another couple of years again. i may suffer the horrible consequences i suffered from before not knowing what i was doing, but it's worth it if i can just end this. fuck you, NHS. how dare you refuse me help after teaching me how to tie a noose? after telling me it's normal in my culture to get **** and etc? fuck you. it's not really 7 years i'm being kind there. really it was when they first refused me help when i was 5 after getting abused and lying to everyone and saying i was fine. well. british government. i'll show u what fine is, you will see really what is normal in my culture, and the consequences of being refused help for 19 years, despite not only on my knees begging for help nearly EVERY single time i meet someone, but also for every time u told me that this is every asians persons fate. you are right, except this time i'm doing it on my own. fuck an honour killing. i'll do it on my own.

 

[oooops]

and if i survive, i'll try again. as always. i don't care to wait another couple of years again. i may suffer the horrible consequences i suffered from before not knowing what i was doing, but it's worth it if i can just end this. fuck you, NHS. how dare you refuse me help after teaching me how to tie a noose? after telling me it's normal in my culture to get **** and etc? fuck you. it's not really 7 years i'm being kind there. really it was when they first refused me help when i was 5 after getting abused and lying to everyone and saying i was fine. well. british government. i'll show u what fine is, you will see really what is normal in my culture, and the consequences of being refused help for 19 years, despite not only on my knees begging for help nearly EVERY single time i meet someone, but also for every time u told me that this is every asians persons fate. you are right, except this time i'm doing it on my own. fuck an honour killing. i'll do it on my own.

tw mentions of SA

fuck you stupid racists and fuck truly my culture for teaching everyone to just look the other way despite HEARING AND SEEING all the abuse done to me. thanks to all of you little pricks, i got labelled a liar even tho u saw it all for most of my life and i will never get help because of it. i have learnt now. i should have learnt when i got physically abused in the psych ward and got put on my 'profile' that i 'had nothing wrong with me' because i spoke up against sexual assault and physical assault. i should have learnt them. fuck all of you (not this website don't worry, you're the only ones there for me if this fails) i have been raped an unbelievable amount of times and assaulted nearly every time i leave my house in this shitty area, and i'm still expected to live and be fine, despite the fact that in the country and city i live in it's known to be safer than most of the world. despite that, at age 13 i was still sex trafficked. fuck this entire country. fuck everything. if i'm refused help i either die of a severe drug addiction, a man, or by my own terms. i choose my own terms. i even got assaulted today, first time i went out in almost 2 weeks, i even got assaulted last time i left my house. fuck my life. this is why i order food every single day. i can't even leave my yard without getting touched up. fuck you. i refuse to live like this. FUCK THIS WORLD TRULY

 

[oooops]

oh no i got drunk and waffled a bit last night why can't u delete posts man
so embarrassing