warning: i'm drunk, this might not be legible

[It'llNeverEnd]

okay. so alcohol is the only thing that stops me from being suicidal. being diabetic and celiac the only thing i can drink is straight liquor, which helps me get drunk faster. what was i saying. am i the only one who self medicates on here?
It migjht have to be a few liters of alcohol to give me alcohol poisoning

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I did a lot.... hence my signature here, Rum, a lot of Rum, its the one thing that keeps me going, I don't drink every day, don't need to but when I drink, I tend to not stop till the bottle is half empty, by which time I have to go bed, else I would empty the bottle!

 

[Mr2005]

Weed for me

 

[porfin1234]

I hate alcohol more than anything and the way it makes people act. However, I've sunk so low that I've used it lately to try to numb my thinking and feeling. Part of it is self abuse. Like eating fast food. Like i don't deserve to be healthy so I punish by drinking.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I did it a lot to

 

[Sensei]

I've self-medicated with poppy pod tea and kratom. Now I only use mildly narcotic herbs.

 

[one4all]

Drinking stops me from CTB. SN + Alcohol = Not a good idea

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

Definitely self medicate with weed. Alcohol makes
me feel like shit now that I'm older.

haven't had weed in about 2 months. It's no wonder I'm suicidal.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

Definitely self medicate with weed. Alcohol makes
me feel like shit now that I'm older.

haven't had weed in about 2 months. It's no wonder I'm suicidal.

I didn't start heavily drinking until about 29 and as long as I remember to drink some water I'm always fine and pretty happy the next day.

Weed doesn't respond to my bipolar well though, I feel like a depression's starting because I'm too mellow and I start to panic.

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

I didn't start heavily drinking until about 29 and as long as I remember to drink some water I'm always fine and pretty happy the next day.

Weed doesn't respond to my bipolar well though, I feel like a depression's starting because I'm too mellow and I start to panic.

Yeah weed is definitely not for everyone. Not sure why I started getting ill after a night of drinking, but I drank pretty heavily from 22-26. I also have diabetes type 2, so it messes with my neuropathy as well.

I like weed because I can actually laugh while I'm high. I can enjoy myself and genuinely feel happy doing things I used to do as hobbies, like gaming. But it's an expensive habit.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

Yeah weed is definitely not for everyone. Not sure why I started getting ill after a night of drinking, but I drank pretty heavily from 22-26. I also have diabetes type 2, so it messes with my neuropathy as well.

I like weed because I can actually laugh while I'm high. I can enjoy myself and genuinely feel happy doing things I used to do as hobbies, like gaming. But it's an expensive habit.

I have type 1 diabetes. If I drink mixes it's a mess, but straight liquor has no carbs so I can drink as much as I want.

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

I have type 1 diabetes. If I drink mixes it's a mess, but straight liquor has no carbs so I can drink as much as I want.

I don't have enough hair on my chest to go down the everclear path, man.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

I don't have enough hair on my chest to go down the everclear path, man.

everclear is garbage. i usually go to whiskey. have a giant bottle of jameson in the hopes it'll last me until st. patty's, but at the rate it's going it's not going to last.

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

everclear is garbage. i usually go to whiskey. have a giant bottle of jameson in the hopes it'll last me until st. patty's, but at the rate it's going it's not going to last.

All of that stuff burns way too much when it goes down for me. I just drank some Di Amor Amaratto with diet code red Mountain Dew. Got a decent buzz but back in the day that wouldn't have gotten me anything unless I mixed it with a hard alcohol.

 

[mesohappy]

Me and alcohol seem to be in a lifelong abusive love affair with one another.

I hate to love her,I love to hate her.

I drink because Im depressed and Im depressed because I drink.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

Gotta say, normally bringing up alcohol it's usually wind up getting a small ass glass that won't be more affective than water, or being told to go to rehab.

So thank you my alcoholic friends, it's not the best coping mechanism but it's good enough for now!

 

[k75]

I used to drink quote a bit to escape my feelings, but I can't seem to anymore without getting sick. I have chronic (non-alcoholic) pancreatitis, and if I'm not careful it could trigger an attack. Alcohol also seems to make my gastroparesis worse. Sometimes I have a small drink and hope it's worth it. It really sucks, but it's too painful to gamble with much.

 

[Ready2020]

I do alot lately just to sleep and forget. I am hoping that i will just get on with it whilst drunk and never wake again

 

[Privatehell]

Me and alcohol seem to be in a lifelong abusive love affair with one another.

I hate to love her,I love to hate her.

I drink because Im depressed and Im depressed because I drink.

Totally get that. The depression I feel afterwards makes me hate that I drink.

 

[RM5998]

I was drinking every other day during my internship, and most of it was undiluted whiskey. I was less inclined to be suicidal, and had less of the self-deprecating thoughts, probably because I had less thoughts in the first place.
The antipsychotics I'm on right now make me feel like I have less thoughts as well, but the general feeling of being down is still there. Let's see if I go to alcohol or meds once I start my job.

 

[katyhere]

Can someone explain to me what it is like to be drunk alone? Like what do you do? How does it make you feel?

 

[Ready2020]

Can someone explain to me what it is like to be drunk alone? Like what do you do? How does it make you feel?

I personally wouldn't advise it..... Its a miserable lonely experience... But it helps me sleep

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

I usually go to dating sites or forums for someone to talk to. I'm usually drunk enough to not care what they think at all so it's a good time.

 

[Cjaf]

Can someone explain to me what it is like to be drunk alone? Like what do you do? How does it make you feel?

I love it most of the time. It feels like my own solo party. Drink, watch stupid TV, music. It makes me feel relaxed and numbs the negative emotions. Again, most of the time.
Every now and then the alcohol does the opposite and makes me extremely emotional. Did some crazy shit during those nights.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Me and alcohol seem to be in a lifelong abusive love affair with one another.

I hate to love her,I love to hate her.

I drink because Im depressed and Im depressed because I drink.

Very relatable, I've been trying to break the cycle though. It's just hard because I've given up so much in my life already.

 

[Cashewmilk]

My vice is heroin and fentanyl, street stuff. I smoke it, been smoking it for 11 years, everyday, only went 2 days at the most without it in a detox facility, that I failed twice. Unfortunately my local detox facility doesn't deal with a dual diagnosis (mental illness and substance abuse) so they couldn't help me. My only hope is a lot of willpower and a paid rehab which I can't afford. After the initial recreational use and addiction, most heroin and opiate users do it so they can function, because opiate withdrawal is so horrible, I'd rather die than go through withdrawal. My withdrawal is especially severe, I am on a high dose of methadone 130 ml (I'm a petite woman), that's how severe my withdrawals are. I have to go to the pharmacy everyday for the methadone dose. It's been 3 years on methadone, and it has helped a lot. I no longer need to use to function, I only use now to go to sleep. I can go many hours without using and be fine. I've never used a needle and probably never will, I'm just not in that type of crowd, never hung out with people like that, of course I've met people like that, but it's just not something that happens in my bubble. Once I tried to practice shooting up because the heroin was weak, and I was dying of sickness, and I couldn't even operate the needle with 1 hand! I'm so weak and stupid, but it was a good thing. I took one of my dad's diabetes needles and was trying to do it secretly in my room. But honestly, I like smoking it. I prefer smoking everything, crack, weed, cigarettes etc. Although I no longer do crack or weed, I mean as opposed to cocaine or edibles and even alcohol, I'd rather smoke my intoxicant instead of doing it any other way. I'm a chimney. Yes my teeth are horrible lol, but I did get them cleaned last year...I'm also super picky about the quality of my drugs, people think heroin/crack users will just take anything they can get. Nope, there IS shitty heroin, just like shitty weed, I have come across many types of shitty stuff, yucky stuff, weak etc. I am very picky about my stuff, it has to taste good, burn good AND feel good. It's similar to smoking weed oil or butter.

Believe me I never wanted to get into this stuff. I always swore I'd never do it because people always said heroin was the worst thing you could ever do, I had no clue about withdrawals, no one ever talked about that and we never learned about it in school, the internet didn't have much info back then, and usually when websites talk about heroin withdrawals the words they use don't really describe the reality of it, they say it's like a flu, it's not, I would die to have the worst flu ever over going through heroin withdrawals. It's the worst hell you could ever imagine. I was severely peer pressured by some people I was hanging out with, we were on a week long coke binge and nobody could sleep, so they all started smoking heroin and kept pressuring me and my sister to do it, we finally gave in, and I've been addicted ever since. I didn't do it again for like a year though, but I never forgot how it made me feel and I went out seeking it a few times, and started doing it recreationally and slowly we got physically addicted, and it's been a battle ever since. I would never recommend it to anyone, it's SO not worth it. I have tried to CTB many times because of withdrawal symptoms.

 

[BlackPoppet]

My vice is heroin and fentanyl, street stuff. I smoke it, been smoking it for 11 years, everyday, only went 2 days at the most without it in a detox facility, that I failed twice. Unfortunately my local detox facility doesn't deal with a dual diagnosis (mental illness and substance abuse) so they couldn't help me. My only hope is a lot of willpower and a paid rehab which I can't afford. After the initial recreational use and addiction, most heroin and opiate users do it so they can function, because opiate withdrawal is so horrible, I'd rather die than go through withdrawal. My withdrawal is especially severe, I am on a high dose of methadone 130 ml (I'm a petite woman), that's how severe my withdrawals are. I have to go to the pharmacy everyday for the methadone dose. It's been 3 years on methadone, and it has helped a lot. I no longer need to use to function, I only use now to go to sleep. I can go many hours without using and be fine. I've never used a needle and probably never will, I'm just not in that type of crowd, never hung out with people like that, of course I've met people like that, but it's just not something that happens in my bubble. Once I tried to practice shooting up because the heroin was weak, and I was dying of sickness, and I couldn't even operate the needle with 1 hand! I'm so weak and stupid, but it was a good thing. I took one of my dad's diabetes needles and was trying to do it secretly in my room. But honestly, I like smoking it. I prefer smoking everything, crack, weed, cigarettes etc. Although I no longer do crack or weed, I mean as opposed to cocaine or edibles and even alcohol, I'd rather smoke my intoxicant instead of doing it any other way. I'm a chimney. Yes my teeth are horrible lol, but I did get them cleaned last year...I'm also super picky about the quality of my drugs, people think heroin/crack users will just take anything they can get. Nope, there IS shitty heroin, just like shitty weed, I have come across many types of shitty stuff, yucky stuff, weak etc. I am very picky about my stuff, it has to taste good, burn good AND feel good. It's similar to smoking weed oil or butter.

Believe me I never wanted to get into this stuff. I always swore I'd never do it because people always said heroin was the worst thing you could ever do, I had no clue about withdrawals, no one ever talked about that and we never learned about it in school, the internet didn't have much info back then, and usually when websites talk about heroin withdrawals the words they use don't really describe the reality of it, they say it's like a flu, it's not, I would die to have the worst flu ever over going through heroin withdrawals. It's the worst hell you could ever imagine. I was severely peer pressured by some people I was hanging out with, we were on a week long coke binge and nobody could sleep, so they all started smoking heroin and kept pressuring me and my sister to do it, we finally gave in, and I've been addicted ever since. I didn't do it again for like a year though, but I never forgot how it made me feel and I went out seeking it a few times, and started doing it recreationally and slowly we got physically addicted, and it's been a battle ever since. I would never recommend it to anyone, it's SO not worth it. I have tried to CTB many times because of withdrawal symptoms.

I've been addicted to speed, codeine, alcohol and Tamazepam in the past. Withdrawal from Benzos are horrendous. I've never tried H though. I used to love uppers....( I was a raver in the 90s) Now I prefer to be calm and relaxed. I'm prescribed Diazepam now.

 

[Cjaf]

I've been addicted to speed, codeine, alcohol and Tamazepam in the past. Withdrawal from Benzos are horrendous. I've never tried H though. I used to love uppers....( I was a raver in the 90s) Now I prefer to be calm and relaxed. I'm prescribed Diazepam now.

I agree. Benzo withdrawal is horrendous! Was on high dose Oxazepam, Temazepam and Midazolam for years. I went completely crazy when I stopped using those.

Used to do a shit ton of cocaine but got off that quite easily.

 

[BlackPoppet]

I agree. Benzo withdrawal is horrendous! Was on high dose Oxazepam, Temazepam and Midazolam for years. I went completely crazy when I stopped using those.

Used to do a shit ton of cocaine but got off that quite easily.

yeah I used to do coke recreationally. Smoked it too sometimes. Not anymore. I've done midazolam, lorazepam, Lormatazepam, Oxazepam and nitrazepam....which was absolutely horrible! I was prescribed all of these. I hated Nitrazepam so much. It made me ill and I couldn't sleep on them.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

I used to get alcohol withdrawals with the shakes, slowed down and don't shake anymore. I'm sure whatever I was feeling was timid compared to coke and heroin.