E
EverdreamNW
Member
- Nov 14, 2019
- 21
I've been on and off SS for 5ish years and here I am again. I failed a CTB attempt april of 2020 and ended up in a psychward for 7 days. I took 80mg of xanax after two bottles of wine and i had bacterial pneumonia… which almostttt did it, but my (now ex) boyfriend caught me and called the police. I have my little SN kit put together with meto etc… but man there is nothing crappier than failing an attempt and my life becoming even more of a living nightmare as a result. My parents said they were going to "sit this one out" because i've had mental health issues my whole life and they are tired of me. So i have no support from family. My kid's dad is making it impossible to see my kid and weaponized my ctb attempt and got a lawyer. Trying (and failing) to ctb has made me determined not to screw it up this time but im getting cold feet on the sn and think i may try to get n. There has not been a day that has passed that has made me go "wow im so glad i didnt die".