What are things you've been told in childhood that weren't true/had to unlearn?

[pilotviolin]

sorry, another thread but i wouldn't remember to ask tomorrow; what are things you've been told that weren't true or you had to unlearn? for me it was social things and self beliefs, my mother would always tell me people were staring at me only because they were jealous i was pretty (i have never been treated as an attractive person in my life except when i was three and some creep in the mall was like wow i want to put you in a cage), and her answers to my questions about the world and to her were usually "thats the way it is", or "because i said so". i've also had to unlearn many negative things about myself and about abandonment. i dont think shes a bad person just a hurt one (plus shes gotten better as shes gotten older thankfully), and these are the tip of the iceberg examples, but i was watching some people on youtube and had the realisation a fair few people have to spend alot of time unlearning things their parents instilled into them, whether it be beliefs about themselves, or just how they see the world.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

"You're going to be alright."

 

[LifeQuitter]

Religion

 

[Silent_cries]

There are three things that comes in mind for me:

1. Suicide is wrong, a suicidal person doesn't truly want to die or any of the like. Like most people I've been growing up heavily influenced by pro-lifers, in fact I was a pro-lifer myself until my late teens. After all, I had been thought suicide was wrong my entire childhood, I mean, can you really blame me?

2. That adults are always wiser because they're older. Do I even need to explain this one?

3. It always gets better.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

"you're pretty and intelligent"

 

[Ironborn]

"Hard work pays off"
No being a brown-noser who stabs everyone else in the back pays off.
Working hard just gets you more work.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My ex-stepmother used to lie and manipulate me into believing that my mom was neglecting me. I'm still trying to unlearn all the shit she had put in my head years ago.

My family also seems to like to lie about my being pretty and about my intelligence. The again, it might just be their own bias for me blinding them from the truth. I could probably go onto a long rant about all the things they delude themselves into believing about me.

 

[kyhoti]

1. Apply yourself and you'll win.
2. The world is fine and people are good.
3. If you're strong enough, you can defeat your demons.

Those are among the top ones.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

" you are dumb, ugly , we wanted a son, not a good for nothing girl'

 

[azzie]

"The doctor will know if you're sick."

It's sad, but half the time they don't even believe your symptoms.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Almost everything that they told me during childhood weren't true. Their religious views weren't true. Their views supporting law of attraction weren't true. Their views about how hard work pays off and how we could be successful if we tried hard isn't true. Their views about irl social interaction being good for me isn't true. Their views about me being designed to work hard isn't true

 

[sos]

being told that i was his best friend
. . .
by my father

but yeah he went to get milk and "best friend" has gotten a whole different kind of meaning to it ever since

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to doodle a lot in class and people thought this must mean I'm some kind of art genius. My teachers and peers encouraged me to get into art and cartooning and for a while I thought that's what I wanted to do.

About a year and a half into my animation degree I realized that I have no skill or talent whatsoever and I only like drawing as a means of escaping the drudgery school. I don't really enjoy it as a hobby unless it's by consuming content. I wish people hadn't encouraged me and tricked me into thinking I had a chance in this field.

 

[sserafim]

"Hard work pays off"
No being a brown-noser who stabs everyone else in the back pays off.
Working hard just gets you more work.

So true. In this world, working hard will get you nowhere. It's work smarter, not harder

 

[permanently tired]

That I was bad and being beaten is just discipline

 

[eatantz]

That guys who are mean to you, like you. Biggest cap ever, most of the time they're just assholes

 

[PinballWizard39]

That I don't matter. My parents well and truly hammered that home. I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake that away.

Anyway , on a more lighter note, here's a funny story.

When I was a kid, my dad told me that woodlice were called something rather different. Fast forward to secondary school biology class where people kept pointing at pictures of the insects and calling them woodlice. I confidently stood up and say 'actually, they are called Jigglyepigs!' Everyone looked at me like I was a first class idiot.
In more recent years, I did look into more why my dad called them that and it turns out there may well have been a regional thing from where he was born.

 

[pyx]

the world is your oyster

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

That it was truly impossible for me to have been born with a tail, like my sibling had always tried to make me believe

I used to doodle a lot in class and people thought this must mean I'm some kind of art genius. My teachers and peers encouraged me to get into art and cartooning and for a while I thought that's what I wanted to do.

About a year and a half into my animation degree I realized that I have no skill or talent whatsoever and I only like drawing as a means of escaping the drudgery school. I don't really enjoy it as a hobby unless it's by consuming content. I wish people hadn't encouraged me and tricked me into thinking I had a chance in this field.

We all had these moments of talent in childhood that we thought would take us somewhere; and realized we only enjoyed them enough for solitary use, and were only mediocre in our skill. Wishful pipedreams learned and died.

My therapist told me last week about this kid who was ALWAYS doodling during classes had won a grammy for cover art design. I forget which famous painter it was, but they never sold a painting while they were alive. You might save your drawings to look back on, or if you have kids.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Almost everything they taught me were facts of life are lies .

Only recently part of my brain began to realize that nothing matters. That all the things they told me were so good , valuable , important, enjoyable were not any of that only garbage additions including life itself.

Nobody can tell me that anything I could do from now until the day I die will natter now or in 150 years , or in 7000 years or in a trillion years

I don't even remember what I did any hour or day of the last 10 years. Who can pick a date on the calendar say from 3 years ago and describe what they did every hour or minute of that day? No one can. Whatever u did on that date is gone into oblivion as if it never happened.life is fleeting meaningless garbage u don't remember anyway

Life is meaningless suffering.

I found out that the only thing that matters is avoiding extreme pain and extreme suffering then any other pain or suffering or problems. There is no need to risk nor to put up with any pain suffering or problems much less the extreme pain

 

[kinderbueno]

We will always love you for who you are

 

[TraurigerClown]

That I'm fucking worthless and whatever I touch becomes shit…! Even after graduating with a straight A after apprenticeship and learning my job, it was worthless and so I stopped even trying for so many years and even now I'm struggling to learn that things I'm doing are going to be a difference in this world

 

[whywere]

I am 68 and I would need to have started answering this question when I was like 15 or so, as the list is a library long.

My "parent's" favorite was "the mistake".

Fun fact is that unlike my older brother and younger sister who had their financial life's set when my "parents" died, I actually have done much better.

Walter

 

[samdocheon]

"dura lex ses lex"

 

[like-spoiledmilk]

• If one person is mad at you, it's them. If two or more people are mad at you, it's you.
• You don't need friends and you can't trust anyone. Your husband is the only friend you need. He always comes first.
• In any loving relationship, you'll hit each other sometimes.
• Men can't help but cheat, they'd fuck a hole in the ground if it was wet. They just need to know where home is.
• You need to stay slim if you want people to be nice to you. I'll teach you how.

It's almost like my mom should teach a crash course on becoming a battered housewife with an eating disorder, I stg.

 

[hawkoflight]

• Everyone is special. Very few people actually are. That's not a bad thing. Just a fact of life. There is 7.951 billion people on earth. No one is truly unique. You aren't any less of a person for being like everyone else.
• "You're so talented!" "You really have a future in art!", etc. I'm mediocre at best, and I'd never survive the art industry. I get that people say that to make a kid feel good about themselves, but do you have to lie?
• "You're so mature for your age!" And yet, here I am, still feeling like a child.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

We all had these moments of talent in childhood that we thought would take us somewhere; and realized we only enjoyed them enough for solitary use, and were only mediocre in our skill. Wishful pipedreams learned and died.

My therapist told me last week about this kid who was ALWAYS doodling during classes had won a grammy for cover art design. I forget which famous painter it was, but they never sold a painting while they were alive. You might save your drawings to look back on, or if you have kids.

I'm sure all the notebooks I've filled with doodles must be moldy by now or something. Part of my CTB plans actually did include drawing some stuff in case people are too impatient to read through my note but that's been hard too and I know it's going to be worse to look at anyway.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

I'm sure all the notebooks I've filled with doodles must be moldy by now or something. Part of my CTB plans actually did include drawing some stuff in case people are too impatient to read through my note but that's been hard too and I know it's going to be worse to look at anyway.

Did you draw a gruesome pic or something? Well you have time for new stuff so you don't have to keep that drawing for open show-and-tell. Maybe just a private one for yourself. Also unless the humidity got too high for a period, I think paper and most things age well as far as mold.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Did you draw a gruesome pic or something? Well you have time for new stuff so you don't have to keep that drawing for open show-and-tell. Maybe just a private one for yourself. Also unless the humidity got too high for a period, I think paper and most things age well as far as mold.

No my drawings are just ugly and indicative of my poor skill. I think humidity could've gotten to them but eh.