• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

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I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
478
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
 
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Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
I do. I hate waking up.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
Usually one of my first thoughts is something along the lines of "ah dam of woke up again"
 
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Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I hate waking up so much. Every time I wake up, I'm like...Fuck, I'm in hell again... And often when I'm sleeping, I have horrible nightmares. So I can't even enjoy sleeping 100%. Fuck life. I wish I could just have one sweet dream, forever.
 
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S

Strumgewehr

Experienced
Jun 7, 2018
271
Oh fuck! I don't want to do this over again!
 
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skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

Student
Apr 10, 2018
136
My first thought is usually, "ugh, another day." Always followed by a feeling of dread and depression.
 
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SexualChocolate

SexualChocolate

Member
Jul 5, 2018
99
Usually Oh shit not another day again.Sometimes followed by who's that beside me.
I do like when i awake and check the time to see its only 3 in the morning and i can go back to sleep again.
 
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SexualChocolate

SexualChocolate

Member
Jul 5, 2018
99
Anyone else wake up thinking it's time to get up.Only to Realise it's early you still have more hours of sleep.One of the few good feelings i get.
 
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Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
369
I'm pretty blank to be honest. I suppose I have a part of my brain telling me to get shit done but the other side reminds me that it doesn't matter. I normally just go back to bed when I wake up and after doing that a few times I drag myself out of bed to the couch and turn on my computer to waste another day.

When I was working i'd think about how much I hate working and how it's all for nothing. I could do everything right for a decade and i'd still be in this pit of despair.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,806
way did i not die in my sleep
 
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athousandsorrows

athousandsorrows

Member
Jul 5, 2018
70
I totally feel the same way. I long for night so I can go to bed. I used to be a very active dreamer, but after I took meds my dreams seem more distant and confusing to me, even though I've been off the meds for about half a year now. I liked dreaming, nay, I loved it. Even if they weren't the best dreams, they were certainly better than reality in every way. I still go to bed longing for dreams, but I'm having a harder time remembering them now. I get this feeling that I did dream, but for the life of me cannot remember what it was. It's sad.

I wake up in the morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am, and when I realize I'm still here I often feel the tears coming up and I cry or sob for a while. Then, my overwhelming urge to go pee takes over and I go pee like a zombie, oftentimes crying as I walk over to the bathroom. After a while I muster up the courage to go down to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, and then I come sit in front of the computer all day long until the night comes.
 
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Definitelyworried

Definitelyworried

Member
Jun 19, 2018
551
Lately I been thinking when I wake up, why didn't I kill myself last night?
 
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I

IQof87SadButTrue

Member
Jun 11, 2018
35
I wake up disappointed I didn't die of natural causes while asleep.
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Nothing good, I can tell you that much. The circling vultures of emptiness, fatigue, despair (etc.) descend on me pretty much immediately. Out of everything else though is the one unshakable thought of how I wish I could just go back to sleep and, if the stars ever happen to align the right way, die there in the process.

0867_0cf3_926.png
 
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EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
248
"damn, what did I drink last night?" mostly.
Nothing else really, I'm busy over the day so I don't have much time to think
 
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D

Deleted member 847

Guest
latest
 
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Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
624
'Oh ffs another day of work' and i'm tired alot so i just want to go back to sleep. Unlike most here the depressive/suicidal feelings come later in the day or at night.
 
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SkepticalAsshole

SkepticalAsshole

Member
Jun 18, 2018
10
Monday-Thursday:

"Fuck it's 5AM I want to die, well shit it is time to fake going to work so my parents stay off my back"

Friday-Sunday: "Fuuuuuuuck life"
 
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Nauseated

Nauseated

Insomnio
Jun 26, 2018
224
you remember when you use to have those dreams that you woke up from and thank god it was just a dream and feel that awesome sense of relief because none of it really happened. Its like the opposite of that now I wake up and realize that my reality is worse than any nightmare I could have. Usually my first thoughts are oh my god this isnt a dream this is my life then the anxiety hits then the depression.
 
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RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
2,149
"Oh, I'm still alive."
 
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M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,034
"I am still not in a beautiful colorful and fluffy anime world. Time to spend another twelve hours or so binge watching stuff."
 
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Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
I like reading and watching video documentaries about disasters and stuff, so my first thought in the morning is almost always about digging up old and new information on this subject; I don't curse anymore because it's useless
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Oh
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Oh yes, every morning I cannot get moving and wish it was over. I have felt this way at least since I've hit late 30's. I have no kids and I don't contact family, no partner. I just have trouble motivating myself because it's like for what? I have no real responsibility I guess.
 
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D

Decker

Member
Jun 12, 2018
91
you remember when you use to have those dreams that you woke up from and thank god it was just a dream and feel that awesome sense of relief because none of it really happened. Its like the opposite of that now I wake up and realize that my reality is worse than any nightmare I could have. Usually my first thoughts are oh my god this isnt a dream this is my life then the anxiety hits then the depression.

Omg yes! My dreams are now better then my reality. It's so sad! I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. But when I do it's the only time I have peace.
 
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thatguyakira123

thatguyakira123

Experienced
Apr 10, 2018
217
Either I want more sleep, i had a weird dream or fuck why am I still here?
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
"I am still not in a beautiful colorful and fluffy anime world. Time to spend another twelve hours or so binge watching stuff."

You know, despite believing on an intellectual level that I will simply be relieved of this Homo sapiens experience when I die, part of what drives me toward my own death is that: within the privacy of my own mind, I'm subconsciously both daydreaming & lucid dreaming of escaping to a fluffy anime-like world (I'll likely be dreaming of some distant utopia when I actualize my "escape" from this lower plane). After all, some of my best states of consciousness in this human existence have been during lucid dreams, when I was at least partially asleep...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centered_world

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine#Counterarguments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_experience

possible worlds are so unspeakably superior to the actual, --that is to say: there is nothing special about this world; this world is merely the one in which we haphazardly find ourselves ingrained in, since we are each here via happenstance.
 
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M

millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,034
You know, despite believing on an intellectual level that I will simply be relieved of this Homo sapiens experience when I die, part of what drives me toward my own death is that: within the privacy of my own mind, I'm subconsciously both daydreaming & lucid dreaming of escaping to a fluffy anime-like world (I'll likely be dreaming of some distant utopia when I actualize my "escape" from this lower plane). After all, some of my best states of consciousness in this human existence have been during lucid dreams, when I was at least partially asleep...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centered_world

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine#Counterarguments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_experience

possible worlds are so unspeakably superior to the actual, --that is to say: there is nothing special about this world. It is merely the one in which we haphazardly find ourselves, since we are each here via happenstance.
I do believe that nonexistence is likely what awaits us all, but there is a part of me that can't help herself but believe that... nothing is impossible. Literally nothing. This part of me is likely born from several strange experiences I had in life, both in the physical and dream worlds. Who knows? We all can only theorize about what is possible or impossible. Answers lie beyond us.

Even if, like you put, "escaping to a fluffy anime world" is impossible, which I will be the first to admit to be, believing that it could happen does help me a bit and also makes my heart flutter. It is literally the only kind of thought to provoke any physical reactions on ,e It is a nice thought. A little bit of hope in such a hopeless existence doesn't hurt.

It has been a desire of mine since I was a kid and I am not giving up on it, no matter how crazy and stupid it might sound to others. Worst case scenario? It is impossible, end of story. But maybe it isn't. And maybe I will just stop existing once I die. That doesn't sound too bad for me. Better to not exist to exist in a world I hate.
 
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D

debora

New Member
Jul 8, 2018
2
whats wrong with me? my life is a shit ,i have wake up other day closer in my room , why im still here??
my life is not going anywhere
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I totally feel the same way. I long for night so I can go to bed. I used to be a very active dreamer, but after I took meds my dreams seem more distant and confusing to me, even though I've been off the meds for about half a year now. I liked dreaming, nay, I loved it. Even if they weren't the best dreams, they were certainly better than reality in every way. I still go to bed longing for dreams, but I'm having a harder time remembering them now. I get this feeling that I did dream, but for the life of me cannot remember what it was. It's sad.

I wake up in the morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am, and when I realize I'm still here I often feel the tears coming up and I cry or sob for a while. Then, my overwhelming urge to go pee takes over and I go pee like a zombie, oftentimes crying as I walk over to the bathroom. After a while I muster up the courage to go down to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, and then I come sit in front of the computer all day long until the night comes.
 

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