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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,426
Does it comfort you? Does it ease the pain when a loved one dies? Is it a good feeling to know that all humans are equal in their eventual fate? Is death an equalizer? No matter how rich or beutiful you are or were (beauty often is taken by aging considering common beauty standards) we all share our transcience.

Personally, it does not comfort me much. You only have one shot. This one experience and mine is a complete shit show.
Some people make fun of billionaires when they die enjoying their money in extraordinary ways. There is this schadenfreude. But maybe that's unrelated.

I don't feel comforted when a loved one dies because most of my loved ones don't want to die. Or they feel forced to die.

The fact we all die eventually does not make my current pain a lot more endurable. Somewhat but not enough. I rather have the feeling I fantasize daily to kill myself. I am like in a hamster wheel. All options I have are horrendous. I fantasize about miracles that could save me.

Two therapists have given up on me and think I gonna kill myself because my life quality is shit and I will have to endure poverty. I wonder whether I actually have what it takes to kill myself. I have SN stored under my bed at least.

I never attempted in a serious way. I tried partial a little bit and stood at the floor of a 7 stock building. Killing yourself is extremely hard. However, I think I could overcome my survivial instinct. I have experienced extreme insane pain. Mentally and in a psychosomatic way. The latter one felt like I was torn apart. It happened after my last psychosis/ after my last mania. The pain was so extreme that I am quite convinced I could kill myself when I face it again. I think it depends on the individual how much pain they can take. I think I swallowed a lot but I have my limits. I can remember the worst night in my life. I had major depression for quite some months. extremely strong psychosomatic pain in my legs (also for quite some months) and I had an anal fissure from the medication I took (conspitation). I know it is embarrassing. So I went to this doctor with my anal fissure I told them I take medication I am not sure whether I am allowed to take pain killers. And he operated my ass without pain killers. I still had conspitation and had to go to the toilet at home. The pain was insane. Especially combined with the mental and psychosomatic anguish. I cried the whole night. This is not exaggeration. I walked in my apartment all night without break. I could not handle the pain. I don't have words to describe it. If I had have a method I would be dead since. My mom was just annoyed I did not stop crying. Why did noone give me fucking pain killers? I am not sure whether I was given them.

I am pretty sure if similar pain repeats and a new crash after mania only seems to be a matter of time I think I could kill myself. Based on my past experiences I think I know that I have limits of pain. And when these limits get crossed I become acute suicidal. There are not many rational arguments for going through another crash. However, I am not very impulsive. The main thing that stopped me from attempting was the possiblity of damage. Personally, I think SN is less dangerous in this instance compared to my other methods that I considered.

The fact that I never attempted and that noone in my family has committed suicide lets me question whether I am really determined enough. The fact how much pain I will face after a new crash nudges me in a different direction though. I am dating a woman currently. In the past I had so many love delusions and it ruined everything. It did not ruin it with her. However, since our third date I turn sort of manic. We have not even kissed each other yet. I think a new manic epsiode could be the final nail in my coffin. It would be ironic if getting the thing I always wanted, a romantic relationship would actually drive me to commit suicide. Honestly, I fully expect a cynical end like this one for my life. There has happened so much incredibly cynical shit. If I get getting this manic I also can forget college. I even consider to make another hiatus semester. I think I could not go to college and date her at the same time. Yes, I am this ill. Let's be real I cannot work anyway.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,015
I don't understand why people are so against suicide if we will all die in the end anyways. Death is a fact of life; it's a part of life. Everything that is born will die someday. The fact that we all die renders life meaningless to me. What's the point achieving anything and what's the point of suffering and struggle? Death makes it all meaningless and pointless
 
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justamirror

justamirror

center and blind
Aug 17, 2024
62
I wonder if it's just that people are so preprogrammed from the culture the society to think of suicide as this taboo disgraceful act. It really confuses me as well. I half believe it's because they want us to stick around and work.

So many people don't understand the level of suffering that can happen inside someone's head. What it feels like. How it affects everything going on inside you. It flavors everything.

I don't think people understand that - relative to their station and environment what they've personally known - That such feelings can be real. That people who have been infected by this disease can find themselves in a terrible life and want out of it. I hate when people tell me no don't go but then say "you gotta do it yourself your life is yours no one else can help you but yourself"

I hate When people compare me (live in us but am poverty stricken my whole life ect ect) to a 3rd world perspective. I get where their coming from but it doesn't matter to me all I know is what I've known it's all relative.

I'm not sure what to think about how we all die eventually. It brings up huge philosophical questions about the very nature of life and reality. Why was I churned up and adapted into this thing over billions of years (if that's your thing) in the first place? Why doesn't it stick around why does it end? Why does my body breath and my heart pumps without me knowing how or why???? Why is the world around me so murderous and divided - eat or be eaten. Why am I all alone in my skin. don't get it.

I fear death is the end and I simply cease to exist. Maybe that is all there is. Maybe there is more but in a different way - this thing that is me now does go away just not whatever it is that moves this place around and keeps it going. Maybe I'm just that…
 
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badtothebone

Experienced
Aug 20, 2024
249
Not soon enough. Today I had a break down I went to visit my son and I just couldn't hold my tears. I wish I can die right now like really now
 
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ThisIsMe1357

Student
May 20, 2024
171
Everything depends on the exact life someone has. There is a huge difference between having a reasonably good life with a loving family and almost perfect health, and years of chronic pain or severe mental problems. The fact that people in all of these kinds of examples would die eventually is not important in any way, except maybe for the fact that the person living the good life might not want to die yet when the time comes and the person living the not-so-good one might want to die sooner than nature plans for them to.

However, I do not think the fact that "we will all eventually die" is supposed to be used as an argument for either that:

1. Someone should die way sooner
2. No one should be allowed to die sooner at all

It is the only quality of life that matters. And that alone is supposed to give poeple a chance, not to force them, but just to give them an option to make choices based on their own free will...at any point of their adulthood.
 
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ThisGameIsOverrated

Experienced
May 6, 2024
200
It reassures me that I'm right in thinking life is ultimately pointless and I'm not wrong for deciding to cut it short early as I'd still die anyways
 
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Heartaches

Heartaches

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
May 6, 2021
261
I dislike how death has become so stigmatized and sanitized in modern western society, it has made us fearful of it instead of embracing it as any other aspect of life. The concept itself is neutral, it is the circumstances surrounding it that change how we view it; but we should not fear speaking about it. We need to make room for difficult conversations.

Mortality is weird. I feel we'll never fully grasp it nor will we know what awaits us on the other side, if anything. These questions sometimes keep me await at night, many emotions pass through my mind.

I think it's just up to individuals and communities to make peace with it. Same applies with life. There's no way to change it.
 
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SoulWhisperer

SoulWhisperer

Careless Soul « MtF »
Nov 13, 2023
364
Obviously, I die now, I did later, what's it gonna change? I'm gonna die anyways so I don't concern myself with morals when I am in charge of my life. My life has no meaning of reverence towards anyone, I have no physical obligation towards anyone so in the end nothing changes for me. If I die earlier it's just because I couldn't stand living already.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,077
I'm terribly selfish. I'm relieved that death exists for my personal situation. I don't want to live forever. But, I've already lost so many people and I still grieve for them all. Yes, it's a relief for someone who's in pain and only a selfish sadist would want to prolong a loved ones life when they had had all they can cope with. But still, the whole thing sucks.

It's one of the many antinatilist thoughts that runs through my head each day. Why would you inflict that on a new living being? You know they're going to likely both witness death and then, definitely go through it themselves. But, it's natural right? They'll just have to put up with it but- woe betide them deciding to take a short cut and end their time before you're gone so you don't have to deal with the grief. That seems so cruel to me but, again it's 'natural' so, we're just supposed to accept it.

Honestly, I hate death but I hate birth even more. Birth necessitates death. If we don't do the first, no one will be troubled by the second.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,790
I don't understand why people are so against suicide if we will all die in the end anyways. Death is a fact of life; it's a part of life. Everything that is born will die someday. The fact that we all die renders life meaningless to me. What's the point achieving anything and what's the point of suffering and struggle? Death makes it all meaningless and pointless

@sserafim those are good key points. Why are they so against suicide if we are all going to die anyway? i'm going to die anyway why prolong the suffering ?

imo even most adults don't fully understand that they and everyone are going to die. sure they won't deny it when i confront them with that one of the most fundamental facts but do they really get it ?

I wonder what the normies or pro-lifers would say if I asked them that on the internet i'm talking strangers?

All i can do is ask people here maybe in an OP.

Me : I want to kill myself.
normie: don't do it . it's irrational to want to kill yourself. get mental help now.
Me: why not i'm going to die anyway. what's the point of suffering and working so hard if i'm going to die anway plus there's always the chance of extreme suffering? why not take a drink and avoid years of suffering and unbearable pain? plus you don't know me . what it's to you if I die today or in 10 years i'm still going to die however to me i'll skip 10 years of suffering.

what do you all think the normies would say?
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,015
@sserafim those are good key points. Why are they so against suicide if we are all going to die anyway? i'm going to die anyway why prolong the suffering ?

imo even most adults don't fully understand that they and everyone are going to die. sure they won't deny it when i confront them with that one of the most fundamental facts but do they really get it ?

I wonder what the normies or pro-lifers would say if I asked them that on the internet i'm talking strangers?

All i can do is ask people here maybe in an OP.

Me : I want to kill myself.
normie: don't do it . it's irrational to want to kill yourself. get mental help now.
Me: why not i'm going to die anyway. what's the point of suffering and working so hard if i'm going to die anway plus there's always the chance of extreme suffering? why not take a drink and avoid years of suffering and unbearable pain? plus you don't know me . what it's to you if I die today or in 10 years i'm still going to die however to me i'll skip 10 years of suffering.

what do you all think the normies would say?
They would probably say empty platitudes like:

"Life is a gift"

"You should be grateful to be alive"

"You only live once"

"It gets better"

"You have such a bright future ahead of you!"

"You have so much to live for!",

but they would not provide any rationalization, justification or reasoning for why you have to stay alive and suffer. They would just say "that's life". I think it's because they truly have no argument. There are no reasons
 
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existenceis123abc

existenceis123abc

New Member
Aug 22, 2024
4
They would probably say empty platitudes like:

"Life is a gift"

"You should be grateful to be alive"

"You only live once"

"It gets better",

but they would not provide any rationalization, justification or reasoning for why you have to stay alive and suffer. They would just say "that's life". I think it's because they truly have no argument. There are no reasons
anyone who holds these views are considered mentally ill by society. Just shows how unconsciously there isn't much to us apart from eat, sleep, sex, avoid death.
 
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Steff1337

Steff1337

Autistic and schizophrenic, please be respectful
Jun 21, 2024
659
I personally suffer from severe autism, and schizophrenia. If I continued living past my 30th birthday, I would eventually die anyways at like 50, but in severe pain.
So why would I have to suffer that much longer, when I can die soon in a relatively painless way?
 
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nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
741
What I think is that this society is beyond stupid for fighting against suicide. Sure, by the collective effort of the said society we are now able to live (unnaturally) long lives. But the fact remains that no one will escape death. Nobody can avoid it. Plus, millions of people commit slow suicide by the lifestyle choices they're making, so why do people look down on those who want to do it quickly? Death is part of life. It is the only outcome of life.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Mage
Mar 8, 2024
548
I am by no means a religious person, I am an agnostic/ atheist by most accounts , however one passage that always comes to mind when thinking about death and life is the passage from Ecclesiastes 4:1-3.
Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:

I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.
2 And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
3 But better than both
is the one who has never been born,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.

If you ever hear a religious person throwing platitudes around such as life Is a gift etc, it might be helpful to remind them of what was written here in Ecclesiastes
 
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hibikikyuxx

hibikikyuxx

Student
Oct 17, 2023
192
Death is a normal part of life. It is the normal cycle of nature, of all living things. Everything, everyone lives and dies.

The only reason why suicide is stigmatized and having kids is supported in society, is because they need every wage slave they can get. Even though the planet is already way overpopulated, and most people shouldn't be parents to begin with.
 
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S

SVEN

Enlightened
Apr 3, 2023
1,852
It just seems like such a long time coming.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,808
better to have never been
 
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D

doneforlife

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2023
486
Bad for people leading high quality life.

Good for people struggling daily for whatever reasons.
 
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Gustav Hartmann

Gustav Hartmann

Warlock
Aug 28, 2021
747
Most people are champions in repressing, they are immortal, every day except for the last one.
 
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hawkshorizon

hawkshorizon

Member
Aug 23, 2023
70
My friend from college found solace in the inevitability of death. He'd been extremely suicidal for a long time and had made several attempts. But the fact that he was condemned to die, whether he hastened the process or not, hit him like a powerful epiphany one evening while meditating. At that point, he resigned himself to his lot in life and decided to wait for death to catch up to him.
better to have never been
On balance, yes for me at least.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,323
The fact that death is inevitable is something that comforts me. Lets be honest, if death wasn't inevitable and there was no way to die, society would make us into wage slaves forever. Society's malice is absolutely limitless and if they could exploit us more whilst giving us less, they would. The fact that death is inevitable means that society can't exploit me forever even if they want to.

However, at the same time, death being inevitable makes me baffled as to why society doesn't legalise euthanasia with this is mind. Since we are all about to die anyways, we shouldn't have to survive any more than we want to. If somebody says that they survived long enough, then they survived long enough and shouldn't be forced to survive for longer. It's so unnecessary to delay the inevitable but the reason why they do this is linked to what I said in my first paragraph about how society wants to exploit people for as long as possible
 
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gayayi4811

gayayi4811

Member
Aug 23, 2024
20
I doesn't feel good or bad for me after having been understanding it for so many years.
It would only hurt if there are sudden news that a loved one will die sooner than expected. But it didn't feel bad when a cancer ill family member died, because he was in a lot of pain and needed relief.
 
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wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
455
It's a fact that fuels my nihilism but it doesn't really make me more or less suicidal knowing everyone dies no matter what.
 
R

Rhymester

Dead to you all
Aug 9, 2023
99
I used to be afraid of dying, but it's the only way to escape from myself, and I really don't like myself, not many people do. I guess I'm relieved.
 
Valhala

Valhala

Experienced
Jul 30, 2024
218
I don't understand why people are so against suicide if we will all die in the end anyways. Death is a fact of life; it's a part of life. Everything that is born will die someday. The fact that we all die renders life meaningless to me. What's the point achieving anything and what's the point of suffering and struggle? Death makes it all meaningless and pointless
Very logical thinking. Someone would say that the extension of the species is the only meaning and "something" that remains even when you die, however the fact that the offspring is also mortal makes this argument meaningless. So, the extension of the species by successive continuum of birth of new mortal beings, also without much meaning.
 
lawlietsph

lawlietsph

can we be done here
May 6, 2023
181
I wish I was never even born, so I wouldn't have to think about this question, but I do of course. The thought of death doesn't bring me comfort, because I have a deep fear of coming back somehow, living in another life or some shit like that. I am terrified of doing all of this again.
Nothing matters. Because we die, absolutely nothing matters and as much as it gives me comfort, it also gives me huge depression.
We all die. Exactly, so why am I even taking another breath?
I'm still not sure about death itself. Do I want it? What if it's just an even worse state of mind? No, I don't want ANYTHING. What I want is just for all of my thoughts to be gone, just like whoop. They are gone. No more thoughts. Not a single thought anymore. Nothing. What happens with my body or my soul, I don't care. Just not a thought please. Not a single need or dream or emotion, nothing please.
 

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