What does "being happy" mean?

[fazzle]

I was listening to a podcast today and a speaker defined happiness. It was happiness = having a purpose (day to day in what you do for a living that you are passionate about) + having good relationships (friends, family etc).

That really stuck with me as I think he's right and I've never in 40 years had either. It's sad that I've never really experienced being happy, I don't even know what it feels like.

What does happiness mean to you or how do you define it? Have you ever been happy before?

 

[avalokitesvara]

That's a pretty utilitarian view of happiness. I don't agree that it's universal. For some people, freedom is their happiness, not purpose/responsibility. For some, being blissfully alone is their happiness, not having social ties.

For me happiness is the ability to be quiet. All anxiety and striving fades and I just exist in that moment. Within myself and within the world. I feel this way often in nature, with animals, walking at night, driving. It's fleeting, but it's real. Knowing these moments exist can sometimes be enough even if I feel unable to have them all the time due to my mental and personality issues.

Happiness is individual. Happiness is you figuring yourself out, paying attention and loving yourself. Even if it's weird or something someone else finds bad. Like for me, I know being alone, even lonely, and in touch with melancholy and suffering, actually makes me happier. Trying to avoid or deny my morbid side makes me unhappy. Most people would say engaging with dark things is going to make you feel more depressed, but that's not true for me.