What does it mean to be trans?

[Mecha Man]

To Delilah, I hope you don't take offense at this. I just, in realization of my mistake (of derailing another thread with my curiosity) I wanted to properly and formerly start a thread asking about what it means to be trans. I want to clarify that I don't even know what that means, because to me, it could mean transgender or transsexual (not that I really know what either of those mean, either). I could be wrong, but that's the whole purpose of this thread! For you knowledgeable people out there to correct and inform me! I genuinely want to know, and I don't know if it's necessary for me to say this, but I don't have any kind of malicious feelings for anyone, or any kind of person, other than people who are hostile towards me.

I'm also generally not the kind of person to go out of his way to help other people (just being honest here) even though I have done volunteer work. I just thought it was really sad that it seems like there are people here who want to die or kill themselves just because of their sexual identity/orientation, and can't cope with it, and I don't know if it helps any, but I just want people to know that that kind of thing doesn't matter to me, and I like people. Period. You're all people, so unless you're mean or hostile, I automatically like you. It's just my nature.

So anyways, going back to the original topic, I really would like to learn more about this. And even though I'm just a (semi) normal straight man, if I can help anyone with their anxiety about their situation, that would make me feel good about myself.

 

[bag.of.cats]

It means endless suffering for those unfortunate that don't pass, that don't have supporting family or friends, that don't have access to medical services, that can't afford surgery etc.

 

[lv-gras]

Basically, a short answer is, that trans people are people who don't fit in well with society's ideas about gender or what they are told to be. So society tells you you are a "man" or a "woman" and has all sorts of things attached to that. Some people find that it's hard to do that and that being whatever the "opposite" gender is, or both or neither or something else, is better for them. They are called transgender (because they cross the lines around gender). Some people also have issues with their bodies, aka are transexual. Society often has trouble with both.

 

[Tiburcio]

So society tells you you are a "man" or a "woman" and has all sorts of things attached to that.

Society and their rules are a bunch of assholes who destroys everything they touch.

I feel a deep emphaty with people who suffer them because I see this problems daily when I live. I'm not trans and I don't know all the pain they have to endure only because all this monsters don't accept when something it's different and I only can offer my emphaty to them and hopefully it will help them a bit.

I see how everybody who can't or simply doesn't want to play this stupid game of the social rules are despiced. I don't feel attached at any gender and they try to make me suffer imposing me their rules on my gender and I constantly have to react violently like in a fucking jungle. My pain is NOTHING compared with their pain and for this reason they have ally support.

I only wish all this fuckers and their rules reap what they sown and suffer in the same way they made others feel. Life os problematic enough for doing it even harder than it is.

 

[Vvcv]

I have never cared about the whole gender thing. Like, I happen to be a man, and that's it, I don't really care. Why is your gender something so important?

 

[weedoge]

What does it mean to be trans? I don't know why I ever questioned my gender or identity, they're very complex feelings, but in it's simplest form a trans person feels that they physically developed into a person that they don't mentally align with. Not all people feel the same kinds of dysphoria (hatred/disconnection/discomfort with certain aspects of the self).

Some people like to say all trans people are mentally ill and they shouldn't get treatment because it simply "feeds their delusions", I see that this is irrelevant and disrespectful, by saying these things those people seem to get off on the hurt they cause and always turn it back on the trans person. It's irrelevant because therapy to "cure those feelings" is always damaging whereas long term talking therapy preceeding living full time as your preferred self or gender followed by hormone treatment and sometimes surgery is far more successful. It's not about curing a mental illness or "feeding into delusions" but about what treatment will give a person the most comfortable, happy and long life.

I have never cared about the whole gender thing. Like, I happen to be a man, and that's it, I don't really care. Why is your gender something so important?

If we knew that and could change it, it probably wouldn't be so important. Speaking from the pov of a non-typical probably trans person if my life wasn't fucked. I don't know why I feel the way I do, people questioning it just makes me feel worse and more fucked up, I can't separate anything about myself in my head so it's hard for me to focus on anything about myself without it being somehow linked to my mental illness. I just know that I hate being a man/boy/whatever and I also hate myself for hating that, like I hate myself for hating myself for hating myself, and all the horrible things that people say to you about it just....

It's easy to say these things if you're not in the situation, it's not even important to understand, just don't be a cunt. From the age of 14 I had people accusing me of having a fetish for wanting a vagina or something when I'd never even spoken about things like that, all the abuse I got from non-supportive people basically outweighed any amount of support I got. I finally realised that I wouldn't pass, my physical appearance is slightly androgynous but I hate my voice and accent so much (even disregarding gender) and also ended up living around the most homo/transphobic people I've ever encountered. Had to basically hide away from my feelings for 5 years and it just fucked me up completely.

I think what really doesn't help is that trans people who have to rely on support from people online... I know that I personally found there are 2 extremes that many people fall into, either extreme hatred and abuse or extreme fetishism. Neither of these are healthy, one may help you not hate yourself for some time but, it skews the perception of self and makes those feelings ever harder to deal, come to terms with and understand.

Personally, I know a lot of people will feel differently, I feel that if society didn't separate the genders so hard in terms of what it is acceptable to wear, do, watch, say, etc then maybe people wouldn't feel so strongly that they are the wrong gender. I'm not referring to people who suffer strong genital dysphoria of course. but those who simply feel more comfortable living every aspect of their life as the opposite gender. If we were able to do that without constant ridicule, humiliation and abuse, then idk maybe it would be different. I know that for me personally, if I were able to dress in skirts and dresses and be passionate about fashion in the same way girls are and it's totally natural and acceptable, then I might be able to accept my gender a little more. There are some things about my body I hate and they would be solved if I were a female, but as much as I wish I were born that way, I wasn't, and you have to take hormone blockers from a young age especially as a mtf before massive irreversible changes are made by puberty. Most people don't get this option.

Hope I didn't upset anybody I just feel that on a site like this it's important to talk about the links between mental health problems and trans feelings. I feel like I was broken far before I ever questioned my identity but it ate away at me and made me so confused that I think, for other trans people, it's so important to have some real support and understand some things. Hope you maybe learned something too. Just remember peoples experiences are subjective and just because you don't understand something doesn't make it wrong.

 

[Tiburcio]

What does it mean to be trans? I don't know why I ever questioned my gender or identity, they're very complex feelings, but in it's simplest form a trans person feels that they physically developed into a person that they don't mentally align with. Not all people feel the same kinds of dysphoria (hatred/disconnection/discomfort with certain aspects of the self).

Some people like to say all trans people are mentally ill and they shouldn't get treatment because it simply "feeds their delusions", I see that this is irrelevant and disrespectful, by saying these things those people seem to get off on the hurt they cause and always turn it back on the trans person. It's irrelevant because therapy to "cure those feelings" is always damaging whereas long term talking therapy preceeding living full time as your preferred self or gender followed by hormone treatment and sometimes surgery is far more successful. It's not about curing a mental illness or "feeding into delusions" but about what treatment will give a person the most comfortable, happy and long life.


If we knew that and could change it, it probably wouldn't be so important. Speaking from the pov of a non-typical probably trans person if my life wasn't fucked. I don't know why I feel the way I do, people questioning it just makes me feel worse and more fucked up, I can't separate anything about myself in my head so it's hard for me to focus on anything about myself without it being somehow linked to my mental illness. I just know that I hate being a man/boy/whatever and I also hate myself for hating that, like I hate myself for hating myself for hating myself, and all the horrible things that people say to you about it just....

It's easy to say these things if you're not in the situation, it's not even important to understand, just don't be a cunt. From the age of 14 I had people accusing me of having a fetish for wanting a vagina or something when I'd never even spoken about things like that, all the abuse I got from non-supportive people basically outweighed any amount of support I got. I finally realised that I wouldn't pass, my physical appearance is slightly androgynous but I hate my voice and accent so much (even disregarding gender) and also ended up living around the most homo/transphobic people I've ever encountered. Had to basically hide away from my feelings for 5 years and it just fucked me up completely.

I think what really doesn't help is that trans people who have to rely on support from people online... I know that I personally found there are 2 extremes that many people fall into, either extreme hatred and abuse or extreme fetishism. Neither of these are healthy, one may help you not hate yourself for some time but, it skews the perception of self and makes those feelings ever harder to deal, come to terms with and understand.

Personally, I know a lot of people will feel differently, I feel that if society didn't separate the genders so hard in terms of what it is acceptable to wear, do, watch, say, etc then maybe people wouldn't feel so strongly that they are the wrong gender. I'm not referring to people who suffer strong genital dysphoria of course. but those who simply feel more comfortable living every aspect of their life as the opposite gender. If we were able to do that without constant ridicule, humiliation and abuse, then idk maybe it would be different. I know that for me personally, if I were able to dress in skirts and dresses and be passionate about fashion in the same way girls are and it's totally natural and acceptable, then I might be able to accept my gender a little more. There are some things about my body I hate and they would be solved if I were a female, but as much as I wish I were born that way, I wasn't, and you have to take hormone blockers from a young age especially as a mtf before massive irreversible changes are made by puberty. Most people don't get this option.

Hope I didn't upset anybody I just feel that on a site like this it's important to talk about the links between mental health problems and trans feelings. I feel like I was broken far before I ever questioned my identity but it ate away at me and made me so confused that I think, for other trans people, it's so important to have some real support and understand some things. Hope you maybe learned something too. Just remember peoples experiences are subjective and just because you don't understand something doesn't make it wrong.

Very instructive, thanks for sharing it.

I feel that if society didn't separate the genders so hard in terms of what it is acceptable to wear, do, watch, say, etc then maybe people wouldn't feel so strongly that they are the wrong gender.

And yea if that cunts didn't be so closed and let everyone wear or just feeling as you want there wouldn't be so much problems.