RedHotRage
Member
- May 1, 2023
- 31
Enneagram's a pretty interesting theory that focuses on how the trauma you faced in early childhood affect the kind of person you are today. It has 9 types, which it theorizes to be the 9 basic types of problems that these traumas create. While its origins are a bit spiritual, the guy who really developed it worked with the DSM-5 as a psychological tool and worked with some mental health patients to make it. It's helped me a lot, and while it's def not for everyone, especially if you're less inclined to spiritual or philosophical shit, I'd bet it'd be of value to someone out there.
In terms of how to find your number, there's a lot of Enneagram tests out there... but it's kinda shit compared to just taking a quick read at the descriptions. At least from my experience, when one of my friends read up on Enneagram 4, she cried. Their whole shtick is that they believe they are fundamentally flawed, fucked up people, deficient in something that everyone else has, and they have deep-rooted envy towards who can live with normal, happy lives, relationships, and circumstances, wondering why they were born as deficient. When she read into how that type forms from childhood experiences was when she really cried.
Here are various descriptions and a short summary of each of the types:
Type 1 "The passion of Anger/Resentment causes the One to be judgmental and critical, as they are constantly frustrated with themselves and the world for not living up to their high standards of perfection and correctness."
Type 2 "The passion of Pride causes the Two to deny that they are anything but selfless, as they ignore their own needs and try to specially meet the needs of others in hopes that others will praise and appreciate them for it."
Type 3 "The passion of Deceit causes the Three to be excessively image-oriented, as they lie and exaggerate their successes and knowledge in order to appear more valuable, desirable, and admirable than they feel they are."
Type 4 "The passion of Envy causes the Four to be temperamental, as they believe that they are fundamentally lacking or flawed, missing something that others have."
Type 5 "The passion of Avarice/Greed causes the Five to be detached and isolated, as they feel the world will catastrophically drain them and believe they must withdraw to prevent that."
Type 6 "The passion of Fear/Anxiety causes the Six to be suspicious and worried, as they are aware of what could go wrong and don't want to be endangered or put their trust into the wrong people or beliefs."
Type 7 "The passion of Gluttony causes the Seven to be excessive and scattered, as they are constantly seeking the next entertaining or fulfilling thing and don't want to be held back by a commitment to what they have in the present."
Type 8 "The passion of Lust causes the Eight to be domineering and excessive, as they are constantly seeking intense experiences, a way to assert their own will, and a way to manipulate situations to serve them."
Type 9 "The passion of Sloth causes the Nine to be unrealistically idealistic, as they do not want to be disturbed by a reality that is not peaceful, happy, or stable, and they are
overly flexible as a means of ignoring developing their individuality."
If you feel confident in your core type, you could look further into the 3 subtypes (Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual) that further divide up the types. Anyways, I'll talk about my own type:
Growing up I had problems with impulse control, revenge, and kinda intense homicidal and suicidal thoughts, whatnot. While I'd indifferent to life as it is, only held back really by SI, I know that one day, in a fit of rage, I'm going to end it all. And I'm fine with that -- I'm tired of life being a never-ending series of deadness and chasing a way to feel alive again.
I figured out why that was with Enneagram. As a child, I was kinda numbed to the world because my parents gave zero shit about my inner life, and would just play murder documentaries every day. They'd also scream and yell at me over everything, including taking out their anger out on me, and it seems like that I learned as a child that anger and rage was the only way to get my way. My grandmother also had ASPD, gambled away our entire family's fortune, and scratched me where I have a scar on my body today.
Because of the stuff I went through as a kid, 99% of the time, I don't feel anything. It feels like life is really dead, and I'm just trying to find some way to kill that void. Often this manifests in my relationships, trying to feel something with some raw physical intensity. But I've been in relationships, but they're always just fucked up, because if I want to feel anything, I have to be cruel, violent, and escalate shit. I've tried being in a normal one but life just felt... dead.
So yeah, eventually, this kind of childhood and frame of the world represents an Enneagram Type 8. Really talking this through with someone gave me a lot of closure on why I am the way I am. Also, if you want help deciding and you've read the stuff above, feel free to send me a DM or comment a bit about yourself and I could give some pointers.
In terms of how to find your number, there's a lot of Enneagram tests out there... but it's kinda shit compared to just taking a quick read at the descriptions. At least from my experience, when one of my friends read up on Enneagram 4, she cried. Their whole shtick is that they believe they are fundamentally flawed, fucked up people, deficient in something that everyone else has, and they have deep-rooted envy towards who can live with normal, happy lives, relationships, and circumstances, wondering why they were born as deficient. When she read into how that type forms from childhood experiences was when she really cried.
Here are various descriptions and a short summary of each of the types:
Type 1 "The passion of Anger/Resentment causes the One to be judgmental and critical, as they are constantly frustrated with themselves and the world for not living up to their high standards of perfection and correctness."
Type 2 "The passion of Pride causes the Two to deny that they are anything but selfless, as they ignore their own needs and try to specially meet the needs of others in hopes that others will praise and appreciate them for it."
Type 3 "The passion of Deceit causes the Three to be excessively image-oriented, as they lie and exaggerate their successes and knowledge in order to appear more valuable, desirable, and admirable than they feel they are."
Type 4 "The passion of Envy causes the Four to be temperamental, as they believe that they are fundamentally lacking or flawed, missing something that others have."
Type 5 "The passion of Avarice/Greed causes the Five to be detached and isolated, as they feel the world will catastrophically drain them and believe they must withdraw to prevent that."
Type 6 "The passion of Fear/Anxiety causes the Six to be suspicious and worried, as they are aware of what could go wrong and don't want to be endangered or put their trust into the wrong people or beliefs."
Type 7 "The passion of Gluttony causes the Seven to be excessive and scattered, as they are constantly seeking the next entertaining or fulfilling thing and don't want to be held back by a commitment to what they have in the present."
Type 8 "The passion of Lust causes the Eight to be domineering and excessive, as they are constantly seeking intense experiences, a way to assert their own will, and a way to manipulate situations to serve them."
Type 9 "The passion of Sloth causes the Nine to be unrealistically idealistic, as they do not want to be disturbed by a reality that is not peaceful, happy, or stable, and they are
overly flexible as a means of ignoring developing their individuality."
If you feel confident in your core type, you could look further into the 3 subtypes (Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual) that further divide up the types. Anyways, I'll talk about my own type:
Growing up I had problems with impulse control, revenge, and kinda intense homicidal and suicidal thoughts, whatnot. While I'd indifferent to life as it is, only held back really by SI, I know that one day, in a fit of rage, I'm going to end it all. And I'm fine with that -- I'm tired of life being a never-ending series of deadness and chasing a way to feel alive again.
I figured out why that was with Enneagram. As a child, I was kinda numbed to the world because my parents gave zero shit about my inner life, and would just play murder documentaries every day. They'd also scream and yell at me over everything, including taking out their anger out on me, and it seems like that I learned as a child that anger and rage was the only way to get my way. My grandmother also had ASPD, gambled away our entire family's fortune, and scratched me where I have a scar on my body today.
Because of the stuff I went through as a kid, 99% of the time, I don't feel anything. It feels like life is really dead, and I'm just trying to find some way to kill that void. Often this manifests in my relationships, trying to feel something with some raw physical intensity. But I've been in relationships, but they're always just fucked up, because if I want to feel anything, I have to be cruel, violent, and escalate shit. I've tried being in a normal one but life just felt... dead.
So yeah, eventually, this kind of childhood and frame of the world represents an Enneagram Type 8. Really talking this through with someone gave me a lot of closure on why I am the way I am. Also, if you want help deciding and you've read the stuff above, feel free to send me a DM or comment a bit about yourself and I could give some pointers.
