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UnluckyBastard

UnluckyBastard

Student
Jun 26, 2024
114
I am asking this question because I am legitimately not stable and I don't know what specifically I have as a mental illness. I don't feel normal. I feel like there's something very wrong. Here's a list.

I have had lifelong mental and emotional issues. I still have the same issues as I have as a kid. I get upset easily, confused easily, shut down emotionally and mentally when something doesn't "make sense". I feel like people always making fun of me. I hate myself so much and I'm always hard on myself and beat myself up a lot. I hold grudges for years and can't let things just go. I'm constantly bombarded with my own negative thoughts and put myself down constantly. I blow up over small things like getting killed in video games or when someone forgets to tell me something. I constantly feel like I'm attacked and I feel like I have to justify every little thing I do. I'm sick of feeling all these negative emotions but I've been through therapy and psychiatry all my life since I was 5. I feel scared, lost, tired, upset, angry, depressed, and anxious constantly. I feel disgusting constantly, like someone poured liquefied dumpster contents into the center of my body. I feel like there's liquid in my skull, like literally my skull of full of liquid and overfilled.

I'm sorry I made this very long but I really need to find out how to express this to my psychiatrist and therapist. They're not understanding anything I'm saying. I need help. I just want to feel normal.
 
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Just_Another_Person

Just_Another_Person

Experienced
Sep 16, 2024
203
Somethings you said sound like autism, did you ever got tested for it? About the other things I am not a mental health professional so it is best I don't try to guess.
 
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coolgal82

coolgal82

she/her, terminally silly :3
Sep 10, 2024
469
Somethings you said sound like autism, did you ever got tested for it? About the other things I am not a mental health professional so it is best I don't try to guess.
just gonna second this, again though this isnt like a diagnosis or certain just a possibility
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,688
Have u ever asked for a 2nd and 3rd opinion? Change psychiatrist + therapist if they can't find answers.
 
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Gangrel

Gangrel

Arcanist
Jul 25, 2024
402
Are you into medication? when i'm not i get easily irritated too with everything, emotions are overwhelming and medication like anti depressants help me care less about that stuff.
 

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