What if i was made to kill myself or otherwise feel pain? Wouldnt that be a perfect to reason to do it? Isn't that my destiny?

[Minas]

Okay, Now i understand why i was born with such an asshole mother who blames me for all of her failures and beats me.

It's because I am the sort of person that was made to serve, i am a toy specially tailored for people like her. Narcissistics, The egoistic, the strong, I was made to be their food.

Wouldn't it be correct for me to pursue that? Get myself another abusive person to marry, And them let them hurt me as much as they want. Once i have fulfilled a life of servitude, my reward will be a fitting death. Or they'll kill me themselves.

If i focus on that, I won't feel hurt anymore when i fail to win or achieve my dreams again. It's because my place isn't to make a name for myself, I was made as a toy.

 

[Hvergelmir]

It's a recurring theme where you somehow try to rationalize and justify unfair treatment, rather than changing it.

If I breed slaves for personal gratification, would you advice those slaves to be content with the situation and see happiness and meaning in their predetermined roles as slaves?

You will not be able to twist a bad situation to something good, by justifying it, or pursuing more of the same.

Wouldn't it be correct for me to pursue that?

To pursue life as a slave, because someone have told you that it's what you deserve? No, get out of there!

Get myself another abusive person to marry, And them let them hurt me as much as they want.

Get yourself a nice man, instead.

Once i have fulfilled a life of servitude, my reward will be a fitting death. Or they'll kill me themselves.

You will die eventually. A life of servitude or getting killed by people exploiting you, does sound completely unnecessary.

Those answers are obvious, and I think you know that.
You have Internet access and a seemingly good understanding of English. With that alone, it's possible to learn many occupations and relocate for work anywhere in the world. I'm not saying that it's easy, but I think you can do a lot better than submitting to a miserable life in servitude to people you don't like.

In another thread I asked: If you had a great upbringing and all the love you wanted, what would you do then? I think it's worth pondering.
Move past your unfortunate family situation and pursue what you want. Avoid bad social circles and seek empowering ones.

I hope to see your next post asking for how to accomplish something good for yourself - whatever you find meaningful and rewarding.

 

[Minas]

It's a recurring theme where you somehow try to rationalize and justify unfair treatment, rather than changing it.

If I breed slaves for personal gratification, would you advice those slaves to be content with the situation and see happiness and meaning in their predetermined roles as slaves?

You will not be able to twist a bad situation to something good, by justifying it, or pursuing more of the same.

To pursue life as a slave, because someone have told you that it's what you deserve? No, get out of there!

Get yourself a nice man, instead.

You will die eventually. A life of servitude or getting killed by people exploiting you, does sound completely unnecessary.

Those answers are obvious, and I think you know that.
You have Internet access and a seemingly good understanding of English. With that alone, it's possible to learn many occupations and relocate for work anywhere in the world. I'm not saying that it's easy, but I think you can do a lot better than submitting to a miserable life in servitude to people you don't like.

In another thread I asked: If you had a great upbringing and all the love you wanted, what would you do then? I think it's worth pondering.
Move past your unfortunate family situation and pursue what you want. Avoid bad social circles and seek empowering ones.

I hope to see your next post asking for how to accomplish something good for yourself - whatever you find meaningful and rewarding

I'm so sorry for disappointing you sir. I still have much to do to fully wrap my head around that, and there's still other issues too, Like guilt. I wasn't able to interact or properly care for my siblings. I can't even speak with people face to face... and I can't save them from her. There's those stories of siblings taking the role of parents because their parents are asshole, and I couldn't do that... Don't i deserve to be punished because of my inability to care for them? How can I pursue a good life with that? By all means, if they couldn't have a good life because I couldn't stop her, then I shouldn't too...

All my attempts to intervene were just me using myself as a meat shield for her to beat instead...

 

[Hvergelmir]

I'm so sorry for disappointing you sir. I still have much to do to fully wrap my head around that, and there's still other issues too, Like guilt. I wasn't able to interact or properly care for my siblings. I can't even speak with people face to face... and I can't save them from her. There's those stories of siblings taking the role of parents because their parents are asshole, and I couldn't do that... Don't i deserve to be punished because of my inability to care for them? How can I pursue a good life with that? By all means, if they couldn't have a good life because I couldn't stop her, then I shouldn't too...

All my attempts to intervene were just me using myself as a meat shield for her to beat instead...

Don't apologize. I have no expectations on you, and you have no obligation to me. I'm just trying to break your destructive mind set, and hopefully break my own in the process.
You seem to have had one hell of a situation, and I only know a fraction of it.

What I do know, is that you'll need to be in a position of power to change things. If saving your siblings from their fate is what you find important, that probably begins with building yourself up. With some confidence and a job, you'd be in a much better position to help others. It would serve as an inspiration for them, and you'd also be able to support them practically. Help yourself first. Getting a good life does not have to be about self indulgence. It could even be out of duty to others. I think a good life for you starts with confidence and independence.

What's really sad is when you propose unconditional surrender, dedicating your life to serving the bad actors who put you in this position. Being a meat shield is not a glorious role, but it's a brave one - you did something; you did what you could in that position. Among all those bad feelings, I think you deserve at least a little bit of pride. While I admire your sense of duty, you're not the one who should be held responsible. Neither should you break yourself, carrying someone else's responsibility.