What is the one trigger that is enough to make you really think about it...

[cotton]

I think I have a trigger .. it's things like names and things (coincidence I suppose) but it brings back memories... It brings up thoughts, it's the trigger that makes me think about things... Again... And I can't help it, which isn't hard in this world.

Does anyone have triggers too that sometimes, just make you want to... Well... do something about it... ?

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Seeing other people my age be so successful, and living their best lives makes me want to CTB.

 

[dinosavr]

To me it's usually thinking about the future, especially this part of the future that I'm responsible for and near future. I just consider myself a lost cause, I'm unable to live.

 

[lilah]

mine is very silly. but it's whenever i don't get invited to stuff and feel left out. it reminds me how lonely i am and how very little i have to lose.

 

[Neowise]

Whenever I fail at something, for example at work. Bonus points if I failed at a simple task.

Thinking about how my future will suck just as bad as the present day and it will never get better.

Thinking about how unfair it is that my childhood abuse fucked me as a person while other kids were granted a normal life in a loving family.

 

[lnlybnny]

anything job/career related. I'm neet but can't stay like this anymore so I prefer ctb

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life itself is a trigger for me. My super bleak future is also a trigger

 

[pilotviolin]

thinking in general negative thought finds it way to me like a crazy ex you somehow just cant get over to the point of sending one cent transactions full of crazy 5 word messages 10000 times. ive heard of people doing that lmfao.

 

[SmoolPepe]

Seeing two people display their affection, they way they look at each other, the way they talk to each other, small gestures, touches, constant smiles that light up the room, hugs, the way they support each other and lift each other up or tease each other, the whole thing.
It just crushes me because it reminds me of what i never experienced and what i never will.
No matter how well im doing up until that moment, no matter how much i work on myself, i instantly start to spiral and feel such agony. It just tramples any achievements i may have worked on or any positive effort i made, it just makes them feel meaningless. Nothing hurts more. It breaks me.
Im happy for them, but it just makes me want to end it all on the spot.

 

[swankysoup]

Seeing other people have relationships and successes in life. Knowing i would have to work the rest of my life just to have a decent standard of living as i continue to suffer. I can't even care enough to keep up with school after just starting it lol what a fucking joke. Knowing i would eventually grow old and sick so whatever shred of potential i have now will someday be gone. Knowing that i can't cope with alcohol forever as it gets worse over time. Knowing that realistically i will never find real friendships or a romantic relationships. Daily triggers come and go but this stuff is always there.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

I have two big ones which make ideation almost a constant throughout the day. The first is isolation, when not stimulated / distracted by something mentally engaging my rumination almost always leads to bus catching focused topics within the first few thoughts. The second is when I'm a spectator to people genuinely experiencing joy of any variety; which is odd, because from an outsider perspective, when I'm having those moments myself it'd seem like I'm having the time of my life when in reality it's just masked exaggerated bullshit that became second nature.

Like some other's here, I used to be envious of those involved in PDA but trying to ground myself emotionally before thinking about it, relationships are honestly fucking hard and human love is naturally very fickle. The strong eye contact, shared smiles, physical touch, and softened voices are often a privilege to those who are lucky and not really a commentary about the loveless. Every passing day inconsiderate people, unhygienic people, rude people, and abusive people each to varying degrees find others who are willing to offer that to them. I'm not going to beat myself up over something that has +1000 different factors playing into it (a lot of which are subconscious) that changes for every individual, not even taking into account their respective phases of life.

 

[Leiot]

mine is very silly. but it's whenever i don't get invited to stuff and feel left out. it reminds me how lonely i am and how very little i have to lose.

That's not silly at all. It's a trigger for me, too. I think being lonely is sometimes worse than the regrets.

 

[Ironborn]

The thought that I could have another 30 years of work ahead of me, I've done 20 already and I'm just a hollowed out husk of a person.
Yeah, fuck that...