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Abbadab

Abbadab

Professional Big Spoon
Feb 9, 2021
45
I had my first sustained period of non-suicidality this past year, and even when I did have a depressive/suicidal episode recently, it only lasted 2 weeks. In other words, I won't have to live the rest of my life wishing desperately for death, which used to be a reasonable assumption.

What changed to make you strive towards recovery?
 
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landmine

landmine

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
82
i started recovery because i don't want to feel this way anymore, since nothing will change if i don't do something. another reason is that i met my boyfriend! hes been very encouraging of my recovery and wants a future with me, which i also want!

i may cry, relapse, etc, but its okay. its apart of recovery
 
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Abbadab

Abbadab

Professional Big Spoon
Feb 9, 2021
45
i started recovery because i don't want to feel this way anymore, since nothing will change if i don't do something. another reason is that i met my boyfriend! hes been very encouraging of my recovery and wants a future with me, which i also want!

i may cry, relapse, etc, but its okay. its apart of recovery
Yeah having an internal locus of control is so important. And omg same on the boyfriend bit. I told him in the beginning that I've wanted to die my whole life but he still wanted to give it a go. He is an eternal optimist. I think some of that has DEFINITELY rubbed off on me.

The people you surround yourself with make such a big difference. It makes me realize I should probably get my ass off SaSu lol
 
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Ethel

Ethel

Hi,I was once here too
Sep 10, 2024
54
It wasn't like a big change,but the stuff that made me super depressed went away with time and I had a whole 4 years trying to overcome the social trauma of bullying, eventually I did make a "full" recovery and could live without thinking about dying, but...depression never leaves and it's more of a "when" to die than a "should" now,working while feeling nothing and expecting nothing is mentality that really helped post recovery depression, plus...abandoning life and just doing what you find it fun is great too.
 
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Warlord's Pulse

Warlord's Pulse

Time to end this endless war
May 27, 2024
202
Maybe I'm just living for the others, that's my very best guess, as for now I'm searching the actual answer
 
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landmine

landmine

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
82
Yeah having an internal locus of control is so important. And omg same on the boyfriend bit. I told him in the beginning that I've wanted to die my whole life but he still wanted to give it a go. He is an eternal optimist. I think some of that has DEFINITELY rubbed off on me.

The people you surround yourself with make such a big difference. It makes me realize I should probably get my ass off SaSu lol
WAAAH we're bascially same then ?! hes also a optimist !!! but he was going thru something when he met though. since then, hes gotten a lot better, meeting each other kinda just lifted eachother a whole lot !!!!

and its so true !!!! + therapy rlly makes me realize tht too. //at this point i use this site for venting n such
 
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Abbadab

Abbadab

Professional Big Spoon
Feb 9, 2021
45
WAAAH we're bascially same then ?! hes also a optimist !!! but he was going thru something when he met though. since then, hes gotten a lot better, meeting each other kinda just lifted eachother a whole lot !!!!

and its so true !!!! + therapy rlly makes me realize tht too. //at this point i use this site for venting n such
you know a relationship is doing well when it's mutually uplifting 😊

and yeah my boy also has issues, but he's getting help for them now at my urging :p

that sounds like a really good way to use the site. maybe I'll transition to that or find a more hopeful forum to turn to instead
 
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landmine

landmine

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
82
you know a relationship is doing well when it's mutually uplifting 😊

and yeah my boy also has issues, but he's getting help for them now at my urging :p

that sounds like a really good way to use the site. maybe I'll transition to that or find a more hopeful forum to turn to instead
well there is an option to hide suicide discussion in settings! but not sure:0
 
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