Story What the fuck just happened

[jatty]

So i told my counselor everything and uni people about how i tried to kill myself and i have a plan.

They literally just said "ok"
No involuntary hospitalization?? No taking me away??? They just said "thats your responsibility"

what????? WHAT. WHAT IS GOING ON. ??
I literally told my counselor EVERYTHING my whole plan and he just commented on it??

 

[Liebestod]

If you wanted to be committed than I guess that sucks but if you didn't I'd count yourself lucky.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Well what did you want to have happen? Your own reaction can tell you a lot about what it is you hoped to achieve. If I was dead set on ctb, I wouldn't tell anyone. But if I wanted some type of support, recovery or maybe even attention then I likely would.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I am not sure if this is real.

If it is, that's great. Being committed can be expensive and degrading. They are not taking away your choice. So why not try outpatient psychiatry instead if you want to? If you want inpatient care, you can request it. Just call a family member and ask for help with commitment and research the place beforehand. If you don't want forced care, then this is good, right? If you really want forced care, you can always go to an ER.

 

[jatty]

Well what did you want to have happen? Your own reaction can tell you a lot about what it is you hoped to achieve. If I was dead set on ctb, I wouldn't tell anyone. But if I wanted some type of support, recovery or maybe even attention then I likely would.

Its complicated. Im going through a lot.
I wanted to ctb but i couldn't and i know i cant because im just so afraid and it sucks. So might as well be committed you know? Especially because of other responsibilities

 

[-Link-]

Involuntary hospitalization generally requires three things: 1) a specific suicide plan, and 2) ready access to the means to carry out the plan, and 3) imminent intent to carry out the plan. All three factors must be present.

Assuming #1 and #2 were present, whoever you were talking with may not have perceived you as an imminent risk. In a bad state, yes. Suicidal, yes. But perhaps not imminently so.

It's not an exact science, and a secondary factor would be the education (credentials) and experience of the person assessing the risk.

University counselling services wouldn't have any direct say in whether someone is hospitalized. But if they figured you as an imminent risk, they could call police and have campus security keep watch on you until they arrive. This would be a significant thing to impose on a student(?), and it puts their own credibility on the line with police officials, so I imagine they wouldn't be too eager to make that call unless the risk is very obvious.

 

[jatty]

I am not sure if this is real.

If it is, that's great. Being committed can be expensive and degrading. They are not taking away your choice. So why not try outpatient psychiatry instead if you want to? If you want inpatient care, you can request it. Just call a family member and ask for help with commitment and research the place beforehand. If you don't want forced care, then this is good, right? If you really want forced care, you can always go to an ER.

I swear to god its real i feel like i was going crazy

I dont really have my own form of transportation and I was begging for anything really. I would like to have voluntary but again I didnt think I could have the means to transport myself.
So I thought they could take me away. And i just couldn't handle it anymore so

I guess even involuntary you need to take yourself as well. What?

Involuntary hospitalization generally requires three things: 1) a specific suicide plan, and 2) ready access to the means to carry out the plan, and 3) imminent intent to carry out the plan. All three factors must be present.

Assuming #1 and #2 were present, whoever you were talking with may not have perceived you as an imminent risk. In a bad state, yes. Suicidal, yes. But perhaps not imminently so.

It's not an exact science, and a secondary factor would be the education (credentials) and experience of the person assessing the risk.

University counselling services wouldn't have any direct say in whether someone is hospitalized. But if they figured you as an imminent risk, they could call police and have campus security keep watch on you until they arrive. This would be a significant thing to impose on a student(?), and it puts their own credibility on the line with police officials, so I imagine they wouldn't be too eager to make that call unless the risk is very obvious.

Huh. I mean I thought telling someone i have a plan and if things dont go right I might attempt again would be enough for immediate risk. And I thought they were mandated reporters right? Its very disorienting

 

[-Link-]

I guess even involuntary you need to take yourself as well. What?

There's also a "voluntary involuntary" hospitalization, where you have the choice, but once you choose to do it, it becomes involuntary. It really depends on the people doing the risk assessment and how much risk they're perceiving.

And I thought they were mandated reporters right? Its very disorienting

Rules and guidelines for mandated reporting can be pretty broad. That would be mainly based on imminent risk, although part of assessing this would usually involve details about plan and access to means.

Huh. I mean I thought telling someone i have a plan and if things dont go right I might attempt again would be enough for immediate risk.

Yeah, I would say if you're wanting to be hospitalized, then you'd probably want to say something stronger than "I might attempt again", as far as intent. Your demeanour would be a factor here, too. "I might attempt again" can carry different meanings depending on how you're presenting (ie. outwardly calm, or inconsolably distraught, or anywhere in between).

To be clear, what you've said here could get a person involuntarily hospitalized. But generally speaking, a medical practitioner or police officials are going to need to hear something stronger and more detailed.

 

[jatty]

There's also a "voluntary involuntary" hospitalization, where you have the choice, but once you choose to do it, it becomes involuntary. It really depends on the people doing the risk assessment and how much risk they're perceiving.


Rules and guidelines for mandated reporting can be pretty broad. That would be mainly based on imminent risk, although part of assessing this would usually involve details about plan and access to means.


Yeah, I would say if you're wanting to be hospitalized, then you'd probably want to say something stronger than "I might attempt again", as far as intent. Your demeanour would be a factor here, too. "I might attempt again" can carry different meanings depending on how you're presenting (ie. outwardly calm, or inconsolably distraught, or anywhere in between).

To be clear, what you've said here could get a person involuntarily hospitalized. But generally speaking, a medical practitioner or police officials are going to need to hear something stronger and more detailed.

I mean it was pretty strong. I dont know. It was an obvious demeanor I will probably do it again and I feel hopeless. Its just crazy to me how everyone else gets hospitalized so easily when i have a means, will, and active though

 

[-Link-]

Its just crazy to me how everyone else gets hospitalized so easily when i have a means, will, and active though

Sometimes this forum makes it sound like it's easy to get hospitalized.

Many words come to mind about that process, but "easy" is definitely not one of them.

I mean it was pretty strong. I dont know. It was an obvious demeanor I will probably do it again and I feel hopeless.

I'm sorry you're being made to jump through hoops just to reach something that should be readily accessible.

Assuming they already know of your specific plan and that you have access to the means, the missing factor would be imminent risk.

In looking at how to articulate risk: "Safety" is a big theme in the mental health community, including emergency services. So, for example, instead of, "I'm going to kill myself" or "I'm suicidal", you could say something like, "I'm not feeling safe right now," or, "I'm afraid I'll hurt myself if I'm left alone," or, "I'm worried I can't stay safe, and I'm asking to be admitted voluntarily before it gets worse."

Think about what's been keeping you alive all this time despite your suicidality. Why haven't you died yet? Why are you still alive? You could tell them what that is, and then tell them that this protective feeling or 'life buffer' is starting to fade and that you feel like you're in danger of bottoming out and harming yourself.

Also: If there is someone you trust who knows your situation, maybe they could accompany you to the ER (or to the counsellor or whoever you're trying to get through to) and help convey the seriousness of your situation.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

Maybe they are testing you? I have had many so called "professionals" test me in different ways.

 

[-Link-]

Maybe they are testing you? I have had many so called "professionals" test me in different ways.

This is a good point and applies to all aspects of mental health treatment.

When they respond to you in ways that feel dismissive, it's OK to push back against that. You can challenge them just as much as they challenge you. Keep it civil, and use examples from your day-to-day life (or cite sources, or whatever applies) that support and reinforce what you're saying.

To go off the OP, as an example: If I said, "I might kill myself," and the counsellor responded, "That's your responsibility," one way I might push back against that: "It might be my responsibility, but it'll be everyone else's problem when I _________" (fill in the blank with the intended means).

 

[claracatchingthebus]

I swear to god its real i feel like i was going crazy

I dont really have my own form of transportation and I was begging for anything really. I would like to have voluntary but again I didnt think I could have the means to transport myself.
So I thought they could take me away. And i just couldn't handle it anymore so

I guess even involuntary you need to take yourself as well. What?

Huh. I mean I thought telling someone i have a plan and if things dont go right I might attempt again would be enough for immediate risk. And I thought they were mandated reporters right? Its very disorienting

If you aren't worried about the debt and cost, and the costs are huge, many thousands, you could just call emergency services.

If you really feel like youre going to impulsively die and you need a locked facility to prevent that, it might be worth it. It's really expensive.

If you can get psychiatric help from your school, it would be less expensive.

Do you have medical insurance?

 

[TBONTB]

I am not sure if this is real.

If it is, that's great. Being committed can be expensive and degrading. They are not taking away your choice. So why not try outpatient psychiatry instead if you want to? If you want inpatient care, you can request it. Just call a family member and ask for help with commitment and research the place beforehand. If you don't want forced care, then this is good, right? If you really want forced care, you can always go to an ER.

It's possible your mind is looking for any escape route it can find. CTB is one. Commitment is another...seems like magic. but it might not really be magic.

Glad you are doing what you can in therapy. Hope you get some relief.

 

[jatty]

If you aren't worried about the debt and cost, and the costs are huge, many thousands, you could just call emergency services.

If you really feel like youre going to impulsively die and you need a locked facility to prevent that, it might be worth it. It's really expensive.

If you can get psychiatric help from your school, it would be less expensive.

Do you have medical insurance?

nah my insurance pays for everything.
I just thought they would call the er for me? Idk i didnt want to freak out my roommates with the er coming.
Though im better now

Sometimes this forum makes it sound like it's easy to get hospitalized.

Many words come to mind about that process, but "easy" is definitely not one of them.


I'm sorry you're being made to jump through hoops just to reach something that should be readily accessible.

Assuming they already know of your specific plan and that you have access to the means, the missing factor would be imminent risk.

In looking at how to articulate risk: "Safety" is a big theme in the mental health community, including emergency services. So, for example, instead of, "I'm going to kill myself" or "I'm suicidal", you could say something like, "I'm not feeling safe right now," or, "I'm afraid I'll hurt myself if I'm left alone," or, "I'm worried I can't stay safe, and I'm asking to be admitted voluntarily before it gets worse."

Think about what's been keeping you alive all this time despite your suicidality. Why haven't you died yet? Why are you still alive? You could tell them what that is, and then tell them that this protective feeling or 'life buffer' is starting to fade and that you feel like you're in danger of bottoming out and harming yourself.

Also: If there is someone you trust who knows your situation, maybe they could accompany you to the ER (or to the counsellor or whoever you're trying to get through to) and help convey the seriousness of your situation.

Haha the crazy thing is i begged about how unsafe i felt. The only reason im alive is just simple anxiety SI.
the counselor or anyone didnt want to take me to the er either, so. They said every transportation was my responsibility.
I mean im better now because at least i got a intensive therapist.
I think its just a case of people just not caring that much.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

nah my insurance pays for everything.
I just thought they would call the er for me? Idk i didnt want to freak out my roommates with the er coming.
Though im better now

Haha the crazy thing is i begged about how unsafe i felt. The only reason im alive is just simple anxiety SI.
the counselor or anyone didnt want to take me to the er either, so. They said every transportation was my responsibility.
I mean im better now because at least i got a intensive therapist.
I think its just a case of people just not caring that much.

You can call 911 at any time if you feel like you are suicidal and want involuntary treatment. Those doctors and psych nurses and psych techs will get paid a lot. They won't mind. 911 can't really not get an ambulance and take you to the ER for an evaluation.


Honestly if sometimes you feel suicidal, but you want to live on some level and are thinking about involuntarily commitment, perhaps you should persue that? This place does have some recovery information, but also it can be traumatic when others on here are ctbing often.