Help What to do when you have nothing to look forward to

[demo]

I really want to die. I have for a while now. All my life I've had to plan ahead, give myself something to look forward to. I don't have that anymore. I attempted suicide over 30 times before I turned 14. At this point, I've lost count. Everytime I think I'm getting better, I fall into the same pit, over and over again. The only diffrence now is that I have a girlfriend. I love her with all I have. She's saved me from dying, more than once, and has been the only thing that's kept me going. I told her that I wanted to spent the rest of my life with her. How am I supposed to leave her after everything she's done for me? How am I supposed to tell her that she's better off with another guy that can make her happy and not bring her down? What am I supposed to do?

 

[21Neberg]

Hold on to your girlfriend tightly and seek help. Try to find the brightside of life for yourself to give yourself the future you clearly want with her.

 

[SeekingSolace]

I really want to die. I have for a while now. All my life I've had to plan ahead, give myself something to look forward to. I don't have that anymore. I attempted suicide over 30 times before I turned 14. At this point, I've lost count. Everytime I think I'm getting better, I fall into the same pit, over and over again. The only diffrence now is that I have a girlfriend. I love her with all I have. She's saved me from dying, more than once, and has been the only thing that's kept me going. I told her that I wanted to spent the rest of my life with her. How am I supposed to leave her after everything she's done for me? How am I supposed to tell her that she's better off with another guy that can make her happy and not bring her down? What am I supposed to do?

I just ended a relationship of one year with a guy I truly loved because he didn't experience empathy and told me he thought I was trying to make him miserable. I wish I had someone to share life with. I know it's so hard when you keep falling in the same pits repeatedly, but it sounds like you have some hope for a brighter future with your girlfriend.

 

[color_me_gone]

What am I supposed to do?

That's a pretty tough one buddy.
you are between a rock and a hard place.

I can only say that having a girlfriend that loves you is pretty awesome.
If I were you, I'd stick in there a while and see how it goes.
That's assuming you can, of course. I know how tough that can be.

 

[Retched]

If she loves you for who you are- hold on tight and don't let go. That type of support is hard to come by. It sounds like you are really in love- try to grasp onto that hope, even if it seems so hard to do. Hugs!

 

[demo]

That's a pretty tough one buddy.
you are between a rock and a hard place.

I can only say that having a girlfriend that loves you is pretty awesome.
If I were you, I'd stick in there a while and see how it goes.
That's assuming you can, of course. I know how tough that can be.

Hold on to your girlfriend tightly and seek help. Try to find the brightside of life for yourself to give yourself the future you clearly want with her.

thank you, it means a lot

 

[LastDay]

You do have something to look forward to, a future with your girlfriend. But you must seek help, most likely long term therapy and meds. If you've had any trauma in your life dealing with that can be a game changer. There's highly effective treatments such as Prolonged Exposure and EMDR.

There can be hope if you believe. Remember that you ARE worth it.

 

[Kyrok]

Make sure she doesn't come to feel trapped -- and work on making the relationship equal -- be there as much for her needs as she is there for you.

 

[demo]

You do have something to look forward to, a future with your girlfriend. But you must seek help, most likely long term therapy and meds. If you've had any trauma in your life dealing with that can be a game changer. There's highly effective treatments such as Prolonged Exposure and EMDR.

There can be hope if you believe. Remember that you ARE worth it.

I've had really bad episodes with medication. I've abused medicine as early as the 5th grade and have had many bad reactions to things like Zoloft, amitriptyline, ect. I've overdosed on a week's worth of pills in a day- 14,000 mlg from one type of pills alone. I know I need help and probably need to take medicine again but I'm scared I'm going to overdose again.

 

[demo]

/update/
I've talked to my gf about it. She's trying to help me through this best she can. Thank you guys for supporting me. I wish all of you guys the best of luck. No one deserves to be this low. I hope you can all find some happiness somewhere.