thronesick
i am a hive walking
- Jan 2, 2025
- 25
over the years I think i have written like five drafts of suicide notes to my family and friends. i thought about giving each person individually a different letter but i didn't want to say so much for one person and not for another and what if the person i leave a note to doesn't even gaf. i thought about prerecording videos to congratulate my baby sister on each milestone and rite of passage like congrats on your first day at school happy 18th birthday sorry i shot myself in the head or like congratulations on graduating but i don't know. i don't wanna leave some cryptic text to my friends and say hey thank you for everything and then they try to rescue me. as i read each note explaining my reasoning it just feels so corny. does anybody feel this way? trying to explain themselves thoroughly. i can't reassure a loved one successfully because they're gonna grieve the way they do which is disappointing because nothing i say will convince them that i did this as a favor.