LuzurPhagget
Experienced
- Sep 15, 2019
- 288
It's New Years Eve and I'm lonely as fuck lol. I had plans to see a concert downtown with some people from work, but they're lame as fuck and kinda hermits. So fuck 'em. Didn't REALLY wanna go THAT badly, but it's a legit rock band and I actually own a couple of their CDs. But I wouldn't really want to go alone. So fuck it. Here I am.
Anyway, what are your parents like. There's GOTTA be a correlation between being depressed/suicidal and shitty parents lol. I think I actually HATE my parents. Especially my father. But ESPECIALLY my mother. Krazy kunt. I'm no professional to give such a diagnosis, but I think she's a narcissist. It's funny, I sort of came to this same conclusion about 5 years ago and even remember reading a book about it...and then I just kinda buried it up until now. Maybe I knew there was nothing I could do at the time and it was pointless to attempt anything...similar to how I'm feeling right now lol. Fuck, what a headcase she is. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if they were just shitty, fuckup parents, but they fucking PRY themselves into my life. NO respect for my boundaries or my privacy (durr, what are boundaries??? Why do you need them? We are your parents). Dumb bitches. AND THEN, after invading my privacy and inevitably finding "dirt" on me, they feel ashamed of me and hold it against me. Fuckers.
The guilt-tripping is strong with my mother. She is unbelievable. I think on some subconscious level, she realizes she's a shitty parent/person and so buys/does a poorly thought out/ half-assed gesture as an appeasement...only to guilt trip me later down the road about how much she does for us and how we're never grateful for it. Idiot.
Everything is ALWAYS about her. She is just so self-absorbed. Almost INCAPABLE of thinking beyond herself. Everything ALWAYS comes back to her. Everything we do is just an extension of her and a portrayal of her image SO, we must always strive to be doing the best we can to make HER look good. Just so she can have something positive to talk about with her "friends" on the phone (other pathetic old has-been hags with nothing better to do with their time). She doesn't give a fuck if we're actually happy. As long as the retard has something to "brag" about with her other pathetic loser friends. I don't know even know WHY their perception of her even matters. Who the fuck are these people anyway?!? Petty little bitch.
And lastly, she is such a snobby, condescending bitch. She thinks she's SUCH hot shit. She constantly talks of how she married "below her" and anytime he "fucks up," she dismisses us a la "and your children are just like you." Bitch, unfortunately, we're YOUR children too. Unbelievable. She really thinks she's hot shit. Like of a higher class. A good example is when she was actually admitted into the mental hospital for getting drunk one time and being suicidal. When she was there, rather than focusing on getting better, the only thing that came to her mind was "These people are freaks. I don't belong among them. I have to get out of here." She thought she was above them. She was released in the week after, I suppose, telling them what was necessary to hear. She was still suicidal upon release though. I was actually pretty concerned. But it's just so fucking unbelievable that's she's such a stuck-up, snobby cunt and she acted that way.
And lastly lastly, she's very self-conscious and has anxiety of her own to deal with. Social anxiety to be more specific (She never even said a word at my sister's wedding. My father wrote a speech SHE wrote with her standing behind him). This inhibits her from really interacting with people on a more than superficial level. The direct family is the only one who sees her for the nasty person she really is. SO, it's like, she's never challenged. She stays cut off in her own, comfortable little bubble and her misconceptions and bullshit ideas are never challenged. Just the way her lazy ass likes it. Unbelievable. I think she's hopeless...or at least not worth helping.
There was a time in our lives when she had a benign brain tumor and there was a "scare" of going under the knife to have it removed. I wish she died then. She was nothing but miserable before then and EVEN MORE afterwards. As a kid, I'd often hear her saying how she wished she was dead and other bitter, miserable shit. Can you imagine hearing that shit as a kid?!? Why would you say that in front of your children?!? Fuck, I wish the bitch got her wish. Some people don't deserve life.
My father, in short, shouldn't even be included as a person. Certainly not as a man. He is so pathetic. He does EVERYTHING my mother tells him to...and yet she still bitches he never listens to her! Pfft. He is such a freak in his own regard. I think the best fitting example of his character would be from a time when I was a young teenager. I was being stupid and was climbing on the banister/ stair railing in the basement one day and happened to break it. For some reason, I thought it would be for the best if I were honest and candid and decided to tell my father. He IMMEDIATELY went away and told my mother. Fucking idiot. She freaked the fuck out! Started kicking and stomping on me (at least 20 times) into a corner and honestly, that didn't hurt too much...until she grabbed a knife and threatened to stab me with it and I figured THAT would have hurt a lot more. That's when the sick bastard probably felt I got a good enough thrashing and no more was needed and decided to intervene and grabbed the knife from her. I'll admit, I may or may not have lost some control of my urinary sphincter. Anyway, I felt at odds with my mother some time after that (she did apologize the next day. Oh you know, for going batshit and flirting with being homicidal with a knife. No biggie, k?), but it only dawned on me after some more time how fucked up what my father did was. All this shit happened around the same time after she had that operation and was in recovery and my sister was giving some distress with a troublesome relationship. So she was under more than usual stress. So WHY THE FUCK did he tell her?!? It was a relatively easy fix and we could have gone to Home Depot discreetly and fixed the fucking thing with her being none the wiser. But NO, the bastard had to tell her. Fucking bastard. Could he have been THAT fucking stupid, nutless and incompetent of a father and husband to put us both through that ordeal or did he secretly enjoy the shitshow? Bastard must have had a fucking chubby. Fucking freaks. They're actually pretty stupidly religious too. I once asked the bastard why we wasted so much time doing certain pointless, bullshit mindless chores around the house on the weekend and the freak actually responded with "So we won't be tempted to sin." Are you fucking kidding me?!? Who the fuck says that?!? Who the fuck still lives like that?!? This isn't the Victorian Age!
Goddammit, I think I hate them. I must have used the words bastard, kunt, bitch several times over lol. I wanted this to be a discussion, but it turned into more of a rant lol. Fuck.
Anyway, currently, I decided I needed some space and decided to stay at a hotel/motel indefinitely. It's been about a month away now and...it feels pretty good. To be out of that crackhouse. Fuck, I hate them. The bitch is already guilt-tripping and trying to manipulate me. Making semi-threats of moving back to the city because I'm not there anymore and wondering what to do with my collection of books in my room (leave them there ya fucktard!) and asking if I know anyone who wants a goldfish because apparently she is just SO fucking retarded and incompetent in not being able to remember to feed a fucking goldfish. It's almost amusing if it weren't so fucking frustrating. And, it's like she wants to keep me back in the house. She keeps saying how I'm wasting money and it's going down the drain and it's not "smart." Yeah, maybe not "financially smart" but continuing to live with them would be pretty fucking intellectually/emotionally retarded. Damn, after all this time, I still don't know how to talk/handle this bitch. She is undoubtedly THE most frustrating person I've ever faced in my life. My own motherfucking fucking mother. What a life.
Anyway, how batshit are your parents?
Anyway, what are your parents like. There's GOTTA be a correlation between being depressed/suicidal and shitty parents lol. I think I actually HATE my parents. Especially my father. But ESPECIALLY my mother. Krazy kunt. I'm no professional to give such a diagnosis, but I think she's a narcissist. It's funny, I sort of came to this same conclusion about 5 years ago and even remember reading a book about it...and then I just kinda buried it up until now. Maybe I knew there was nothing I could do at the time and it was pointless to attempt anything...similar to how I'm feeling right now lol. Fuck, what a headcase she is. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if they were just shitty, fuckup parents, but they fucking PRY themselves into my life. NO respect for my boundaries or my privacy (durr, what are boundaries??? Why do you need them? We are your parents). Dumb bitches. AND THEN, after invading my privacy and inevitably finding "dirt" on me, they feel ashamed of me and hold it against me. Fuckers.
The guilt-tripping is strong with my mother. She is unbelievable. I think on some subconscious level, she realizes she's a shitty parent/person and so buys/does a poorly thought out/ half-assed gesture as an appeasement...only to guilt trip me later down the road about how much she does for us and how we're never grateful for it. Idiot.
Everything is ALWAYS about her. She is just so self-absorbed. Almost INCAPABLE of thinking beyond herself. Everything ALWAYS comes back to her. Everything we do is just an extension of her and a portrayal of her image SO, we must always strive to be doing the best we can to make HER look good. Just so she can have something positive to talk about with her "friends" on the phone (other pathetic old has-been hags with nothing better to do with their time). She doesn't give a fuck if we're actually happy. As long as the retard has something to "brag" about with her other pathetic loser friends. I don't know even know WHY their perception of her even matters. Who the fuck are these people anyway?!? Petty little bitch.
And lastly, she is such a snobby, condescending bitch. She thinks she's SUCH hot shit. She constantly talks of how she married "below her" and anytime he "fucks up," she dismisses us a la "and your children are just like you." Bitch, unfortunately, we're YOUR children too. Unbelievable. She really thinks she's hot shit. Like of a higher class. A good example is when she was actually admitted into the mental hospital for getting drunk one time and being suicidal. When she was there, rather than focusing on getting better, the only thing that came to her mind was "These people are freaks. I don't belong among them. I have to get out of here." She thought she was above them. She was released in the week after, I suppose, telling them what was necessary to hear. She was still suicidal upon release though. I was actually pretty concerned. But it's just so fucking unbelievable that's she's such a stuck-up, snobby cunt and she acted that way.
And lastly lastly, she's very self-conscious and has anxiety of her own to deal with. Social anxiety to be more specific (She never even said a word at my sister's wedding. My father wrote a speech SHE wrote with her standing behind him). This inhibits her from really interacting with people on a more than superficial level. The direct family is the only one who sees her for the nasty person she really is. SO, it's like, she's never challenged. She stays cut off in her own, comfortable little bubble and her misconceptions and bullshit ideas are never challenged. Just the way her lazy ass likes it. Unbelievable. I think she's hopeless...or at least not worth helping.
There was a time in our lives when she had a benign brain tumor and there was a "scare" of going under the knife to have it removed. I wish she died then. She was nothing but miserable before then and EVEN MORE afterwards. As a kid, I'd often hear her saying how she wished she was dead and other bitter, miserable shit. Can you imagine hearing that shit as a kid?!? Why would you say that in front of your children?!? Fuck, I wish the bitch got her wish. Some people don't deserve life.
My father, in short, shouldn't even be included as a person. Certainly not as a man. He is so pathetic. He does EVERYTHING my mother tells him to...and yet she still bitches he never listens to her! Pfft. He is such a freak in his own regard. I think the best fitting example of his character would be from a time when I was a young teenager. I was being stupid and was climbing on the banister/ stair railing in the basement one day and happened to break it. For some reason, I thought it would be for the best if I were honest and candid and decided to tell my father. He IMMEDIATELY went away and told my mother. Fucking idiot. She freaked the fuck out! Started kicking and stomping on me (at least 20 times) into a corner and honestly, that didn't hurt too much...until she grabbed a knife and threatened to stab me with it and I figured THAT would have hurt a lot more. That's when the sick bastard probably felt I got a good enough thrashing and no more was needed and decided to intervene and grabbed the knife from her. I'll admit, I may or may not have lost some control of my urinary sphincter. Anyway, I felt at odds with my mother some time after that (she did apologize the next day. Oh you know, for going batshit and flirting with being homicidal with a knife. No biggie, k?), but it only dawned on me after some more time how fucked up what my father did was. All this shit happened around the same time after she had that operation and was in recovery and my sister was giving some distress with a troublesome relationship. So she was under more than usual stress. So WHY THE FUCK did he tell her?!? It was a relatively easy fix and we could have gone to Home Depot discreetly and fixed the fucking thing with her being none the wiser. But NO, the bastard had to tell her. Fucking bastard. Could he have been THAT fucking stupid, nutless and incompetent of a father and husband to put us both through that ordeal or did he secretly enjoy the shitshow? Bastard must have had a fucking chubby. Fucking freaks. They're actually pretty stupidly religious too. I once asked the bastard why we wasted so much time doing certain pointless, bullshit mindless chores around the house on the weekend and the freak actually responded with "So we won't be tempted to sin." Are you fucking kidding me?!? Who the fuck says that?!? Who the fuck still lives like that?!? This isn't the Victorian Age!
Goddammit, I think I hate them. I must have used the words bastard, kunt, bitch several times over lol. I wanted this to be a discussion, but it turned into more of a rant lol. Fuck.
Anyway, currently, I decided I needed some space and decided to stay at a hotel/motel indefinitely. It's been about a month away now and...it feels pretty good. To be out of that crackhouse. Fuck, I hate them. The bitch is already guilt-tripping and trying to manipulate me. Making semi-threats of moving back to the city because I'm not there anymore and wondering what to do with my collection of books in my room (leave them there ya fucktard!) and asking if I know anyone who wants a goldfish because apparently she is just SO fucking retarded and incompetent in not being able to remember to feed a fucking goldfish. It's almost amusing if it weren't so fucking frustrating. And, it's like she wants to keep me back in the house. She keeps saying how I'm wasting money and it's going down the drain and it's not "smart." Yeah, maybe not "financially smart" but continuing to live with them would be pretty fucking intellectually/emotionally retarded. Damn, after all this time, I still don't know how to talk/handle this bitch. She is undoubtedly THE most frustrating person I've ever faced in my life. My own motherfucking fucking mother. What a life.
Anyway, how batshit are your parents?
