What were your dreams growing up and do you enjoy romanticizing them if you could?

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Dreams fade, humans grow, but the inner child never goes away. Share your dreams and how you can romanticize them.

I'll go first.

I wanted to be an architect or a singer, and I am not, but I still somewhat pretend like I'm taking notes, studying, reading, and it makes me feel a bit happy through get the day done and started and puts me back into when it all happened. I stay focused in waking up and stay giving myself some peace of mind to energize the feeling and process or music helps when it's related to what I picture in my head as an architect, I give myself room to just do the little tasks, and for the singing part, I always do vocalizing lessons and put some time to allowing the instrumentals I like to be song while allowing the lyrics to grow through my harmonies and tones when I sing. I am still working to perfect this but a simple romanization makes it feels the soul a bit! ((:

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I grew up wanting to be a train engineer. Never happened, but to this day I will sit and watch trains go by wishing I was the one driving it.

 

[raskol1980]

I wanted to be an American cop (from uk) It always seemed so glamorous and dangerous and you got a gun! That's one of my dreams I'm glad I didn't follow...
Genuinely though, a close family member (my offing mum) told me around 12 that I seemed like one of those people who would just float through life and be fine. Made a big deal about it being my path. Not needing to focus, I mean it's not her fault I did lol but I did and am now 42 in a homeless shelter organising the end of my like. Alone in a shared hose with a raging alcoholic who is apparently a rapist too!

... I feel I've changed the tone of this thread ignore me :D

 

[overcastdays]

Since I'm too lazy to really write anything, I'll just copy and paste a message I sent during a conversation I had with a friend regarding my former dreams for the future.

~~~~

I'm not too sure. I've had a general direction I've felt like I've wanted to go towards for a while, this being some broad focus on some type of physics or engineering related field (as far as engineering goes, maybe mechanical, civil, transportation, materials, systems, safety, or nuclear, the last of which I really want, since anything in the nuclear/particle field has always been sort of a dream of mine for the past few years), though I've kind of given up on the pure science aspect of it because I'm just kind of stupid and not an innovator of any sort which is why I've pivoted to the engineering side (though as far as that goes, I used to think maybe a particle, nuclear, condensed matter, or astro physics sort of field). I also have some weird "shot in the dark" interests like something in the linguistics field or something, on the other hand, maybe a historian, or archaeologist, as these topics interest me as well. Way back when, the field that interested me the most was biology, so I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I stuck with that interest instead, and even earlier, I wanted to be an architect, which I suppose is kinda funny since it's come full circle with the whole civil engineering thing, at least sort of.

So, in short, everything I really do want is just some far off, poorly defined and distant dream. So, no, I don't really know what I want either. I don't know. I don't really have a purpose in life anymore, I don't know what I want at the moment, and I don't know when I will, and if it will be too late by then, or not. I guess I just want to be proud of myself.

~~~~

I suppose I do romanticize many of these careers to varying degrees, I've always admired the "field" of science to varying degrees, drifting from field to field, and I guess I've settled on admiring physics as of late. It's just so incredibly fascinating to me, how people in this field do all sorts of things, are able to come up with the most cutting-edge technologies of our species, are able to, via some idealization, map out and define every interaction between bodies of matter both big and small, and further our understanding of the fundamental characteristics of our universe. It's something that I, in my idiocy and lack of ability to enter the field myself, look upon in absolute awe and amazement, a field I am absolutely dumbstruck, blinded by, and that I idolize and admire so much.

 

[GalacticWarrior777]

As a child, I always dreamt about living a peaceful and quiet life with the friends from my childhood (Who I sadly no longee have contact with), travel around the world with them, have fun and enjoy our lives as much as possible. Nowadays, I still dream about living a peaceful life, with a couple friends ( or possibly a girlfriend, if I ever do find one). Im recovering, but I believe that im shy by character and not due to my trauma and mental problems. I also always dreamt of having tons of cats in that house as I love just how cozy and lovely cats are, especially cuddling with cats!

 

[Haematemesis]

I wanted to have a big happy family with lots of children (as if they are property)
Living in a rural area.

Now I have let go of my dreams because my philosophy has changed. I am an anti-natalist now and although I am still young I doubt I will get any love or anything to start a family.

 

[Frozen Blood]

I was a big dreamer as a child. Oh, the things I wanted to do! First, I wanted to be a scientist. I didn't even know what one did: I only knew they used those cool white lab coats and messed with colorful liquids.

As I grew older, I realized that the kind of scientist I wanted to be was a biologist. And I fantasized about it for a while, but soon in my childhood I started to dealt with the symptoms of ADHD and realized maybe I could never study enough to go through this graduation.

My writing (in my native language, of course) has always been very complimented by everyone. So I decided that I would be a writer, and for the most part of my teen years it was what I had in mind. But I became depressed, dropped out of school, developed a crippling social anxiety and realized that I could never be capable of dedicate myself enough to write the stories I wanted.

Nowadays, I don't feel like I can dream anymore. Upon so many unrealized dreams, it's like my brain doesn't even allow me to do that anymore.

So I just live hoping for the best.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I was a big dreamer as a child. Oh, the things I wanted to do! First, I wanted to be a scientist. I didn't even know what one did: I only knew they used those cool white lab coats and messed with colorful liquids.

As I grew older, I realized that the kind of scientist I wanted to be was a biologist. And I fantasized about it for a while, but soon in my childhood I started to dealt with the symptoms of ADHD and realized maybe I could never study enough to go through this graduation.

My writing (in my native language, of course) has always been very complimented by everyone. So I decided that I would be a writer, and for the most part of my teen years it was what I had in mind. But I became depressed, dropped out of school, developed a crippling social anxiety and realized that I could never be capable of dedicate myself enough to write the stories I wanted.

Nowadays, I don't feel like I can dream anymore. Upon so many unrealized dreams, it's like my brain doesn't even allow me to do that anymore.

So I just live hoping for the best.

Reading these makes me so happy I got to reach others who feel the same way about dreams, and I am still working to responding to everyone while interacting and engaging through emojis, and this is by far the most stellar worded and descriptive thing regarding hopes and dreams being tarnished and vanquished by perils of frustration and endless pain, and that struggle isn't your fault. I wish to share how lovely you written scientists with the pieces you described them as being with cool lab coats on because you would've been fascinated by Frankenstein, who was a scientist who novel at the creation of creating a being to life own his own, and to think of studying the science behind most atoms and particles through life, you would've loved him as your role models specially creating who he would've been to you, because he might've been a fictional character, but he holds the idea of being patient when all failed and kept trying, even using corpses he took to create his creation. I don't know how they'll symbolize to you, but I understand needing to give up and feeling like all is so greatly lost when it comes to your inspirations, and I love how you tried it, even though it's much harder, and don't let anyone, not even me say that's alright, because you should've had time to enjoy your dreams before your brain overworked itself for you to properly function and as someone with aDHD, I deeply relate to that so much, especially as it's really hard, and you must've tried so very hard, too.



Good luck for trying through it despite the memories being a blur these days

 

[Frozen Blood]

Reading these makes me so happy I got to reach others who feel the same way about dreams, and I am still working to responding to everyone while interacting and engaging through emojis, and this is by far the most stellar worded and descriptive thing regarding hopes and dreams being tarnished and vanquished by perils of frustration and endless pain, and that struggle isn't your fault. I wish to share how lovely you written scientists with the pieces you described them as being with cool lab coats on because you would've been fascinated by Frankenstein, who was a scientist who novel at the creation of creating a being to life own his own, and to think of studying the science behind most atoms and particles through life, you would've loved him as your role models specially creating who he would've been to you, because he might've been a fictional character, but he holds the idea of being patient when all failed and kept trying, even using corpses he took to create his creation. I don't know how they'll symbolize to you, but I understand needing to give up and feeling like all is so greatly lost when it comes to your inspirations, and I love how you tried it, even though it's much harder, and don't let anyone, not even me say that's alright, because you should've had time to enjoy your dreams before your brain overworked itself for you to properly function and as someone with aDHD, I deeply relate to that so much, especially as it's really hard, and you must've tried so very hard, too.



Good luck for trying through it despite the memories being a blur these days

Thank you for your words. I came to this forum to not be judged by my suicide thoughts, but also to resonate with others who do not want to go without trying. I am very happy that we all can have this connection and, maybe, do a little good to each other.

Recovery is a good thing too! I know some doesn't believe in it anymore, I barely do, but if I may have one more dream, is that at least some of us could wake up every single day a little stronger to fight this battle and, who knows, maybe this is the dream I can realize.

And about Frankenstein, ironically, is one of the next ones I plan on reading. So, it will not take long to experience all that you just told me. Thank you again and good luck 4 you too!

 

[overcastdays]

I was a big dreamer as a child. Oh, the things I wanted to do! First, I wanted to be a scientist. I didn't even know what one did: I only knew they used those cool white lab coats and messed with colorful liquids.

As I grew older, I realized that the kind of scientist I wanted to be was a biologist. And I fantasized about it for a while, but soon in my childhood I started to dealt with the symptoms of ADHD and realized maybe I could never study enough to go through this graduation.

My writing (in my native language, of course) has always been very complimented by everyone. So I decided that I would be a writer, and for the most part of my teen years it was what I had in mind. But I became depressed, dropped out of school, developed a crippling social anxiety and realized that I could never be capable of dedicate myself enough to write the stories I wanted.

Nowadays, I don't feel like I can dream anymore. Upon so many unrealized dreams, it's like my brain doesn't even allow me to do that anymore.

So I just live hoping for the best.

Oh, I abso-fucking-lutely feel that. Once upon a time I was like one of those smart kids or whatever, good grades, eloquent prose and all that junk, but I fell apart around late senior high school when the pandemic first started, and I've never been the same since. I personally feel like I have ADHD as well but basically everybody, including professionals, have told me that I don't have it due to this test called a TOVA test which I took and somehow passed (imo an absolutely bullshit test, just look it up lol, no substance), which doesn't make sense to me, but what can I do, right? I'm not qualified to talk back. Just gotta rawdog it I guess, until I can get therapy again, but fully independently, so I can get that reevaluated, I'm no fan of self-diagnosis after all, though therapy is expensive. People actually used to think I had ADHD before I took that test, but it's funny to me that the result of that singular test changes the trajectory of my therapy, and how my mental state was perceived for the rest of my childhood. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I flunked it. Maybe I would have gotten out of high school fine? I felt like such an idiot. Y'know, the test felt so utterly beneath me, it felt like a game of flappy bird, so, I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

But yeah, same here (funny, even the wanting to pursue the field of science stuff is relatable), all my dreams feel distant, and I am hopelessly adrift, a disappointment to my parents. Lazy, or whatever, I don't know, it's hard to keep on trying, even getting myself out of bed feels like peeling one of those barcode stickers off of a newly bought book.

 

[Frozen Blood]

Oh, I abso-fucking-lutely feel that. Once upon a time I was like one of those smart kids or whatever, good grades, eloquent prose and all that junk, but I fell apart around late senior high school when the pandemic first started, and I've never been the same since. I personally feel like I have ADHD as well but basically everybody, including professionals, have told me that I don't have it due to this test called a TOVA test which I took and somehow passed (imo an absolutely bullshit test, just look it up lol, no substance), which doesn't make sense to me, but what can I do, right? I'm not qualified to talk back. Just gotta rawdog it I guess, until I can get therapy again, but fully independently, so I can get that reevaluated, I'm no fan of self-diagnosis after all, though therapy is expensive. People actually used to think I had ADHD before I took that test, but it's funny to me that the result of that singular test changes the trajectory of my therapy, and how my mental state was perceived for the rest of my childhood. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I flunked it. Maybe I would have gotten out of high school fine? I felt like such an idiot. Y'know, the test felt so utterly beneath me, it felt like a game of flappy bird, so, I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

But yeah, same here (funny, even the wanting to pursue the field of science stuff is relatable), all my dreams feel distant, and I am hopelessly adrift, a disappointment to my parents. Lazy, or whatever, I don't know, it's hard to keep on trying, even getting myself out of bed feels like peeling one of those barcode stickers off of a newly bought book.

Well, I'm also officially undiagnosed. In my country, psychiatry is a joke if you're not wealthy. I've been through at least 8 differents docs and all of them thought that I could have it and just gave me the medications. But, even that way, I'm considered undiagnosed, because it's just theirs opinions, not a medical report of some sorts.

And let me tell you, it works. I have a major today, a job and live by myself. Even undiagnosed, I always knew. Maybe, when I finally get the money to pay for the all the neuro tests they need to do, I could turn out as not having it.

but let me tell you: when it comes to mental health, many times it is very individual. They have manuals to identify disorders and diseases, but they can not feel what we feel. My depression comes from the failure that my ADHD helped cause in my life, because of executive disfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria and other symptoms that are barely studied even today.

So, if you think you can have it, don't think that is wrong to "auto-diagnose" yourself, think of it as a hypothesis and act upon it to see if it works. There are resources in the Recovery Section directed for those with ADHD, so even without the meds, you can work on it.

Even if it isn't ADHD, maybe can help you with some struggles that resembles it. Wish you the best!

 

[overcastdays]

Well, I'm also officially undiagnosed. In my country, psychiatry is a joke if you're not wealthy. I've been through at least 8 differents docs and all of them thought that I could have it and just gave me the medications. But, even that way, I'm considered undiagnosed, because it's just theirs opinions, not a medical report of some sorts.

And let me tell you, it works. I have a major today, a job and live by myself. Even undiagnosed, I always knew. Maybe, when I finally get the money to pay for the all the neuro tests they need to do, I could turn out as not having it.

but let me tell you: when it comes to mental health, many times it is very individual. They have manuals to identify disorders and diseases, but they can not feel what we feel. My depression comes from the failure that my ADHD helped cause in my life, because of executive disfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria and other symptoms that are barely studied even today.

So, if you think you can have it, don't think that is wrong to "auto-diagnose" yourself, think of it as a hypothesis and act upon it to see if it works. There are resources in the Recovery Section directed for those with ADHD, so even without the meds, you can work on it.

Even if it isn't ADHD, maybe can help you with some struggles that resembles it. Wish you the best!

Same lol, therapy's expensive stuff, though I don't think they'd even consider giving me anything related to ADHD given their current opinions, just on antidepressants lol, (escitalo) and anxiety meds for some reason. Thanks for the wishes though, I really appreciate it! And the pointers too. I'll be sure to check out the resources section.

 

[whywere]

Growing up, I was raised on a working dairy farm and I never had time to think about what I wanted to do or be.

the day after I turned 18, my "parents" drove me to our local town, dropped me off on a street curb with a bag of clothes, no money, no food, no shelter, no job, nothing and drove off and I never heard from them again, 100% their choice.

From that beginning, first, I had to find any job to eat and have a roof over my head. Then at the age of 24, I went to college, graduated at 28 and took a position with a firm where I have been at since.

My focus was and always has been to help others move forward. I leave with what I came with, ZERO and with that in mind, I love what I have done for over 40 years and when I retire next year at the age of 70, with the exception of my mental health and 24/7 chronic pain issues, I am happy how my professional life turned out, would not change much if anything at all.

Walter

 

[atrophy]

I always wanted to be a scientist/astrophysicist and know the origin of existence of the universe. I never was satisfied with the "God creating the whole world" growing up and I wanted to know how did life come from an inorganic world and evolve.

I obviously am not what I wanted to be.

I always wanted to be married and have a family.

Now I'm antinatalist and I would rather be alone than burdening another person so I changed quite a bit.

 

[Tod]

I'm not sure what I've dreamed about. I've had some things that I always enjoyed and that interested me a lot but I've tried some of them like working in IT and it didn't work out. Actually I hated it even tho I loved everything computer related since I got my first one at the age of 8.
Another thing I always liked was physics. Quantum physics especially but I didn't even manage to get close to higher education so no way I could study it and so I just read some scientific papers from time to time or check out some new discoveries.
I never truly had the time to dream about my future since I was stuck so much in a battle for survival from a very young age.
Just very recently I rediscovered a joy from my childhood. Back then I loved doing videos and even uploaded some rly cringe worthy stuff on yt. Even tho my current life makes certain stuff extremely hard I still managed to buy a rly nice camera again and I will try everything to make it successful for myself since I don't need much for myself.
So yeah I've stopped asking myself what I liked to do or enjoyed but just listened to my own feeling about what is good for me rn and started chasing it which resulted in a camera just like back when I was a child. I never thought that would actually be what I'll chase later in my life even tho it was obvious since I enjoyed it so much almost 2 decades b4.
Let's see what will end up in front of my lense with me behind it.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I grew up wanting to be a train engineer. Never happened, but to this day I will sit and watch trains go by wishing I was the one driving it.

This is by far the most cutest I've ever read and sweetest! Hopefully, someday you shall if it happens

I wanted to be an American cop (from uk) It always seemed so glamorous and dangerous and you got a gun! That's one of my dreams I'm glad I didn't follow...
Genuinely though, a close family member (my offing mum) told me around 12 that I seemed like one of those people who would just float through life and be fine. Made a big deal about it being my path. Not needing to focus, I mean it's not her fault I did lol but I did and am now 42 in a homeless shelter organising the end of my like. Alone in a shared hose with a raging alcoholic who is apparently a rapist too!

... I feel I've changed the tone of this thread ignore me :D

No! :S this is the best thing I've read and quite cute and silly from the context that spiraled from it :> I do hope you are safe, I know how that feels and be careful

I wanted to have a big happy family with lots of children (as if they are property)
Living in a rural area.

Now I have let go of my dreams because my philosophy has changed. I am an anti-natalist now and although I am still young I doubt I will get any love or anything to start a family.

Sending you lots of love for the family that was robbed from you. Hopefully, someday, you will find that goal more easily without any doubt

As a child, I always dreamt about living a peaceful and quiet life with the friends from my childhood (Who I sadly no longee have contact with), travel around the world with them, have fun and enjoy our lives as much as possible. Nowadays, I still dream about living a peaceful life, with a couple friends ( or possibly a girlfriend, if I ever do find one). Im recovering, but I believe that im shy by character and not due to my trauma and mental problems. I also always dreamt of having tons of cats in that house as I love just how cozy and lovely cats are, especially cuddling with cats!

I'm so sorry your previous dream was taking from you, especially as it isn't ever easy finding good friends. Did your cat dream come true? Should I call you the cat lady or the lady who birthed many cat friends? :D

Since I'm too lazy to really write anything, I'll just copy and paste a message I sent during a conversation I had with a friend regarding my former dreams for the future.

~~~~

I'm not too sure. I've had a general direction I've felt like I've wanted to go towards for a while, this being some broad focus on some type of physics or engineering related field (as far as engineering goes, maybe mechanical, civil, transportation, materials, systems, safety, or nuclear, the last of which I really want, since anything in the nuclear/particle field has always been sort of a dream of mine for the past few years), though I've kind of given up on the pure science aspect of it because I'm just kind of stupid and not an innovator of any sort which is why I've pivoted to the engineering side (though as far as that goes, I used to think maybe a particle, nuclear, condensed matter, or astro physics sort of field). I also have some weird "shot in the dark" interests like something in the linguistics field or something, on the other hand, maybe a historian, or archaeologist, as these topics interest me as well. Way back when, the field that interested me the most was biology, so I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I stuck with that interest instead, and even earlier, I wanted to be an architect, which I suppose is kinda funny since it's come full circle with the whole civil engineering thing, at least sort of.

So, in short, everything I really do want is just some far off, poorly defined and distant dream. So, no, I don't really know what I want either. I don't know. I don't really have a purpose in life anymore, I don't know what I want at the moment, and I don't know when I will, and if it will be too late by then, or not. I guess I just want to be proud of myself.

~~~~

I suppose I do romanticize many of these careers to varying degrees, I've always admired the "field" of science to varying degrees, drifting from field to field, and I guess I've settled on admiring physics as of late. It's just so incredibly fascinating to me, how people in this field do all sorts of things, are able to come up with the most cutting-edge technologies of our species, are able to, via some idealization, map out and define every interaction between bodies of matter both big and small, and further our understanding of the fundamental characteristics of our universe. It's something that I, in my idiocy and lack of ability to enter the field myself, look upon in absolute awe and amazement, a field I am absolutely dumbstruck, blinded by, and that I idolize and admire so much.

How you said and expressed your thoughts and feelings into this discussion is somewhat unique and profound, especially as I understand trying one's hardest to devolt their abilities and attention somewhere revelating in some kind of way, almost like anyone who would when it comes to their interests. You almost could've been somewhere around deciding to be a professor with all those interests, especially with engineering, science, architecture, historian, and biology, and you aren't stupid or crazy to believe it could happen or when you couldn't reach your goals in time, because the whole point of this goal was for others to share the reality of dreams being crushed by how we can still achieve the likeness of it through remembering them for what they were to use, because this world breaks everyone's dreams, and I am so sorry you have suffered

I loved all of your stories and dreams and I can not wait to respond to more, especially dear, Walter's. <3

I'm not sure what I've dreamed about. I've had some things that I always enjoyed and that interested me a lot but I've tried some of them like working in IT and it didn't work out. Actually I hated it even tho I loved everything computer related since I got my first one at the age of 8.
Another thing I always liked was physics. Quantum physics especially but I didn't even manage to get close to higher education so no way I could study it and so I just read some scientific papers from time to time or check out some new discoveries.
I never truly had the time to dream about my future since I was stuck so much in a battle for survival from a very young age.
Just very recently I rediscovered a joy from my childhood. Back then I loved doing videos and even uploaded some rly cringe worthy stuff on yt. Even tho my current life makes certain stuff extremely hard I still managed to buy a rly nice camera again and I will try everything to make it successful for myself since I don't need much for myself.
So yeah I've stopped asking myself what I liked to do or enjoyed but just listened to my own feeling about what is good for me rn and started chasing it which resulted in a camera just like back when I was a child. I never thought that would actually be what I'll chase later in my life even tho it was obvious since I enjoyed it so much almost 2 decades b4.
Let's see what will end up in front of my lense with me behind it.

I'm so fascinated by how you loved IT and quantum physics that you had applied yourself into both, despite not knowing how it'd go in the end. This feels so unique when you shared how you remembered a sweet childhood memory that have resurfaced your mind once again and if you still have that, please remember to continue going finding out where through it is you can find sense of a sense of purpose, because it's quite possible that you would've loved to be someone in directing but right now, if at all, stick to what you already love and that enough should open yourself to a feeling of confidence and inner self worth, so proud of you

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

In high school I wanted to be a beauty therapist and just wanted people to feel good about themselves. After school, my dream got bigger in that I wanted to build like a whole mall with not only a place for facials, etc., but also a gym, clothing stores where assistants are trained to help people choose clothes that will look good on them, healthy eateries, and food stores with assistants giving advice on nutrition. A whole "health and beauty mall". To this day I think that is a good idea, and perhaps if I survive this year, I may look into a more laid-back version of a massage parlour/gym/yoga studio setup. I managed to qualify as a personal trainer, which was a dream come true but then got sick myself and well this is where I find myself now

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

In high school I wanted to be a beauty therapist and just wanted people to feel good about themselves. After school, my dream got bigger in that I wanted to build like a whole mall with not only a place for facials, etc., but also a gym, clothing stores where assistants are trained to help people choose clothes that will look good on them, healthy eateries, and food stores with assistants giving advice on nutrition. A whole "health and beauty mall". To this day I think that is a good idea, and perhaps if I survive this year, I may look into a more laid-back version of a massage parlour/gym/yoga studio setup. I managed to qualify as a personal trainer, which was a dream come true but then got sick myself and well this is where I find myself now

Oh my gosh, this is by far the saddest and accomplish read yet! So happy you managed to succeed in your goal , and goodness, I truly hope you make it into never allowing your spirit to die if you ctb to still make it come true if you believe in reincarnation

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Oh my gosh, this is by far the saddest and accomplish read yet! So happy you managed to succeed in your goal , and goodness, I truly hope you make it into never allowing your spirit to die if you ctb to still make it come true if you believe in reincarnation

Thank you for your very kind words, and yes, I do believe in some form of reincarnation. I believe the spirit grows and comes back with what was learned to build on next time, to make things right. You have a very kind soul, and you are meant to keep on singing

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Thank you for your very kind words, and yes, I do believe in some form of reincarnation. I believe the spirit grows and comes back with what was learned to build on next time, to make things right. You have a very kind soul, and you are meant to keep on singing

Oh gosh, if you ever want to talk about the after life if you are ctbing, we can talk all happy wonderful thoughts while expressing our desires in this world

And I am deeply glad you believe as much as I! Forgive me for my late response I am keeping up convos with everyone I have missed for three days.

I hope you are doing well and Hehehe thank you ((: I haven't progressed sadly due to the human body in this world being a curse >_< and it's okay :'))

 

[roboteulogy]

when i was very young, i wanted to be an astronaut because what's cooler than being an astronaut?

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

when i was very young, i wanted to be an astronaut because what's cooler than being an astronaut?

I hope you're still healing in terms of looking forward to entering Mads if you're still here, and agreed! Being in space is the most beautiful feeling in the world

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Growing up, I was raised on a working dairy farm and I never had time to think about what I wanted to do or be.

the day after I turned 18, my "parents" drove me to our local town, dropped me off on a street curb with a bag of clothes, no money, no food, no shelter, no job, nothing and drove off and I never heard from them again, 100% their choice.

From that beginning, first, I had to find any job to eat and have a roof over my head. Then at the age of 24, I went to college, graduated at 28 and took a position with a firm where I have been at since.

My focus was and always has been to help others move forward. I leave with what I came with, ZERO and with that in mind, I love what I have done for over 40 years and when I retire next year at the age of 70, with the exception of my mental health and 24/7 chronic pain issues, I am happy how my professional life turned out, would not change much if anything at all.

Walter

Hats off to you, Walter!

 

[Regen]

I dreamed of building a huge luxury enclosure for guinea pigs. And to have at least an entire basement full of a large model train. I've always loved houses and floor plans, I would have loved to renovate and remodel an old house. I would have liked to be an art teacher. Or occupational therapist. But above all, my desire was to get married, to stay together forever and to love each other, to have children, to have a dog and a house, to go on vacations, to have a good circle of friends.

And somehow I still think I'm still a child and one day this life will begin for me. I feel like I'm currently just waiting for this dream life. But the reality is that I am 45 years old and my life is different. I should watch more YouTube videos on Radical Acceptance.....

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I dreamed of building a huge luxury enclosure for guinea pigs. And to have at least an entire basement full of a large model train. I've always loved houses and floor plans, I would have loved to renovate and remodel an old house. I would have liked to be an art teacher. Or occupational therapist. But above all, my desire was to get married, to stay together forever and to love each other, to have children, to have a dog and a house, to go on vacations, to have a good circle of friends.

And somehow I still think I'm still a child and one day this life will begin for me. I feel like I'm currently just waiting for this dream life. But the reality is that I am 45 years old and my life is different. I should watch more YouTube videos on Radical Acceptance.....

You remind me of Mr. Klaus from Klaus, and this is the most warmest thing I've read all of time, besides the few I interacted with, and I truly do hope you experience more great wonders and take your time charging back at life.

 

[Done_with_the_world]

It changed throughout my lifetime. When I was really young, I loved animals and wanted to be a veterinarian or look after animals like my auntie did. Then I wanted to become a marine biologist, because I love the ocean and sharks. Next was archaeology, because I was obsessed with ancient Egypt and Greece, and wanted to discover Alexander the Great's body eventually. Next, I started writing active lists of volcanoes and wanted to become a volcanologist.

Then I turned 12, and kind of wanted to become a singer, as I had singing, piano and dance lessons for the majority of my life. I am too shy to truly commit to that though. After that, I had no plans, I became super depressed after my grandma died when I was 13 and I wanted to die too. After that, my sadness turned to rage and I started pushing everyone away when my friends started ignoring me because of my sadness. I was fine doing what I needed to survive then, including becoming a criminal or joining the military, as I was in 5 sports at the time and nothing could dampen my aggression. I did not think I would live past 17, and would either kill myself or have the police shoot me for something. I had always been a disturbed person, and this was brought out by my abusive helicopter mother, considering my dad died of cancer when I was 6. Anyway, she put me into therapy, and I guess I always was kind of interested in math and physics, and had made lists of nebulae and physics equations when I was 9. So i really wanted to go into that. But, I was also interested in helping other people like me who were struggling, so I decided Psychology. I also mentioned to mom I kind of wanted to do Physics but she completely shot down the idea and was not going to pay for it. I hated university and my emotions went insane and I could not focus, and mom and I constantly got into arguments.

Eventually during this time, I began to remember some of the horrible things done to me in my childhood, as I had blocked all of that out. And I was furious at my mother, so I took my anger out on her and constantly caused arguments with her to distress her. I dropped out of university, as I had enough, and decided to become a librarian technician, and I also started taking medication. I had always loved reading. Eventually, I also got a job as a fashion associate in a store to support myself in school. In 2020, the pandemic caused the business to close, and I was out of a job, and moved back home. I found a gas pumping job in my hometown. My mom and I almost constantly argued, as I was still furious with her. All the stress caused me to lose my gallbladder, and I had it surgically removed at the end of 2020.

Eventually, I moved out to the city again to finish the final semester of my course (we were meeting in person for the first time in the pandemic history), for 2022. I finally got my diploma and became a librarian technician, and I got a job in another city for a summer job. Then after that, I found another library job in the same town for 6 months. After that, I stayed in that city and got my old gas pumping job back. And I eventually moved on and my mom and I came to an understanding. Then we had a better relationship. I got in a relationship with a man oversees and it kind of was a bad idea. I did not see the red flags, and soon he convinced me to get off my medication. Then we broke up. At the beginning of 2024, I had my current job, then mom started getting on my case about getting a real job. I mentioned physics again and she called the idea stupid. Then I decided on accounting, and now I am taking classes for a career I am not sure I will like, but that will pay me more and hopefully allow me to live without worrying about going onto the streets. Anyway though, I got back on my pills after I couldn't stand dealing with my BPD, and destroyed half the things in my apartment. I still wish I had become a physicist, and had stuck it to my mom. We are kind of codependent, and I am learning how to set boundaries with the help of my therapist. Honestly, I kind of just want to write depressing poetry about nihilistic ideas and the futility of life most of the time now.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

It changed throughout my lifetime. When I was really young, I loved animals and wanted to be a veterinarian or look after animals like my auntie did. Then I wanted to become a marine biologist, because I love the ocean and sharks. Next was archaeology, because I was obsessed with ancient Egypt and Greece, and wanted to discover Alexander the Great's body eventually. Next, I started writing active lists of volcanoes and wanted to become a volcanologist.

Then I turned 12, and kind of wanted to become a singer, as I had singing, piano and dance lessons for the majority of my life. I am too shy to truly commit to that though. After that, I had no plans, I became super depressed after my grandma died when I was 13 and I wanted to die too. After that, my sadness turned to rage and I started pushing everyone away when my friends started ignoring me because of my sadness. I was fine doing what I needed to survive then, including becoming a criminal or joining the military, as I was in 5 sports at the time and nothing could dampen my aggression. I did not think I would live past 17, and would either kill myself or have the police shoot me for something. I had always been a disturbed person, and this was brought out by my abusive helicopter mother, considering my dad died of cancer when I was 6. Anyway, she put me into therapy, and I guess I always was kind of interested in math and physics, and had made lists of nebulae and physics equations when I was 9. So i really wanted to go into that. But, I was also interested in helping other people like me who were struggling, so I decided Psychology. I also mentioned to mom I kind of wanted to do Physics but she completely shot down the idea and was not going to pay for it. I hated university and my emotions went insane and I could not focus, and mom and I constantly got into arguments.

Eventually during this time, I began to remember some of the horrible things done to me in my childhood, as I had blocked all of that out. And I was furious at my mother, so I took my anger out on her and constantly caused arguments with her to distress her. I dropped out of university, as I had enough, and decided to become a librarian technician, and I also started taking medication. I had always loved reading. Eventually, I also got a job as a fashion associate in a store to support myself in school. In 2020, the pandemic caused the business to close, and I was out of a job, and moved back home. I found a gas pumping job in my hometown. My mom and I almost constantly argued, as I was still furious with her. All the stress caused me to lose my gallbladder, and I had it surgically removed at the end of 2020.

Eventually, I moved out to the city again to finish the final semester of my course (we were meeting in person for the first time in the pandemic history), for 2022. I finally got my diploma and became a librarian technician, and I got a job in another city for a summer job. Then after that, I found another library job in the same town for 6 months. After that, I stayed in that city and got my old gas pumping job back. And I eventually moved on and my mom and I came to an understanding. Then we had a better relationship. I got in a relationship with a man oversees and it kind of was a bad idea. I did not see the red flags, and soon he convinced me to get off my medication. Then we broke up. At the beginning of 2024, I had my current job, then mom started getting on my case about getting a real job. I mentioned physics again and she called the idea stupid. Then I decided on accounting, and now I am taking classes for a career I am not sure I will like, but that will pay me more and hopefully allow me to live without worrying about going onto the streets. Anyway though, I got back on my pills after I couldn't stand dealing with my BPD, and destroyed half the things in my apartment. I still wish I had become a physicist, and had stuck it to my mom. We are kind of codependent, and I am learning how to set boundaries with the help of my therapist. Honestly, I kind of just want to write depressing poetry about nihilistic ideas and the futility of life most of the time now.

Your dreams were always about exploration and finding the great unknown in things that kept you feeling human, and thats more than most like to know. You were taken from your dreams and that hearts my heart so much, especially as you kept going and going and never gave up, even finding the same structure in shifting your jobs and your focus, always feeling determined by something in mind. I loved hearing this so much and how you explained the events so thoughtfully as though you were always meant for something like this and to share your experiences with people. You truly lived many lives is what I felt and only one felt like the true you versus the real world placing so much on you, and you have so many now to feel so greatly inspired by your strength. Thank you for sharing ((:

 

[SnowLeopard21]

I used to have dreams of designing, constructing, and sailing a sub around the world but nowadays I'd just settle for someone's companionship as I travel and see places.

 

[human909]

My dreams where to find someone who actually loves me, i hate being alone. I also wished to travel across the world.

 

[_Maya]

I always had this one dream when i was younger where i'd move to a beach house, live a quiet life with a theoretical girlfriend who truly loves me. I love nature, and i like to be alone, but i don't like being truly alone.