What will you do on your last day/in your final moments

[TheHolySword]

On your last day, as you begin your preparations and get ready for what comes after, what else will you be doing?

Are you going to watch any movies or episodes of a favorite TV show? Last minute writings or artworks? Many of us find comfort in music, will you have a playlist planned for the day? Any special books you'll want to read again? I think in my mind I don't want to be so hyper focused on the main task that I will forget to plan something to do in the idle time. Is there anything you will want to experience one last time? Is there something specific you will want to do as you are CTBing?

For me, I will probably watch my favorite movies leading up to the day. Then on the day of I'll watch different episodes of different shows that all gave me comfort. I'll read my favorite book one last time. I'll call my brother and chat with him for awhile. I'll look through pictures and messages and reminisce about all the good and bad and sad things of life. And then when it's time I'm going to put on my brothers spotify playlist, lay down, and wait to sleep.

 

[Forveleth]

Nothing different than any other day. Making it an "event" means more of a chance for SI to kick in. I'm probably going to hang so I'll get up and eat breakfast like normal, wait to be alone in the house, put on my headphones and go for it.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Feeling finally happy Knowing finally I did something rational and did something that I really wanted to do kill myself

 

[Gstreater]

Eat whatever I want, drink whatever I want and if it all goes to plan I get to fall asleep and never wake up.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Not sure, not really have any favourite things anymore. Maybe just focus on getting the task done. Have some weed some time before, be high for a while.

 

[been__ready]

Give thanks for the good moments I did have.. and go out with a smile on my face. That's my main focus in the run up, to make peace as much as possible even though it can be hard when I've resented people/situations that have gotten me here. But in the end it was my path I guess and I did also have some great experiences along the way - so I'd like to focus on holding onto the memories of those and forgiving those who hurt me and forgiving myself for those I hurt in return… 🕊

 

[ramon]

I'd try to go with my life as usual. Not for the sake of it, but as a means to pacify myself as I'm pretty sure SI will be haunting me.

Doing anything meaninful like travelling, finishing that project you abandoned, donating your belongings, indulging in something you normally wouldn't indulge in becomes (partially) not enjoyable as the ideas of CTB clash with the ideas of your SI.

 

[Namelesa]

If I did have a planned ctb day then I would probably play through the Survivor playthrough of Rain World as the game is literally about suffering and surviving in a broken eco-system and a world full of danger and the main ending is to find a way to die forever. The whole game and ending is honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. This game makes my views of suicide and life feel seen.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

There's nothing in life that I cared about in the first place so I wouldn't really do anything aside from what is required in the suicide method such as deleting my account here, sending scheduled emails to my parents and so forth.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I'd probably just go about my day as normal. I live with my parents so that makes it more likely to just carry on as usual.

Actually, I made a stupid attempt once that was totally planned. I was really irked that I spent half the afternoon Working with my mother to do stuff with our banking. I kept thinking what was the point I was going to be dead after today anyway. So hopefully I could have a normal day but more peaceful. But if I ever try again, I will be nervous as hell so that affects things too

 

[foreverlanguish]

I don't know, I'll probably listen to my favorite music, maybe look at some motivational quotes and helpful posts from here, eat some good food, read my comic, and just try to relax as much as possible. Just anything to distract myself from my fears and SI will be helpful...

 

[hop33xit]

I think I'll just remain detached, reflecting on everything that has happened...

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

It's hard to say exactly, but I'll be staying in a nice hotel and I'll definitely have breakfast there, it's amazing. I'll probably go into town for a bit to kill time. Usually I lay in bed 90% of the day so I'll do a lot of that, too. My problem is that almost anything I do triggers sad memories, and I don't want to get myself too upset to CTB so I'll have to be careful about what I plan to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

All I personally hope and wish for is to die in peace and never suffer ever again, I just want to peacefully cease existing and that is it, if I had the option to just die painlessly I'd be so relieved that I'm able to free myself from all future suffering and I never have to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence ever again as ceasing to exist truly is all I see as desirable. I'd always prefer to painlessly cease existing than be burdened with this existence and I suffer simply from existing, personally I just wish for non-existence, it's all I've ever hoped for, I'm so tired of suffering in this existence I never would have chose.