• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

Majin K.

Majin K.

too weak for this world
Jan 9, 2020
232
As for me:

1. My cousin dying who raped me. Unlikely as I won't murder him, but not wanting to see him anymore is the main reason why I want to die. Well that and nihilism (read my profile info).

2. Finding a loving gf. Unlikely as I'm too insecure, barely have any social contact and would never visit a dating site. The one girl I get along with very well and would be perfect for me is a lesbian and plans to marry soon.

3. Finding an office job with 0 customer contact (including telephone). Maybe accounting or programming? Too bad I sucked at math when I was still in school, so there goes my dream of a job for misanthropes. I despise any form of customer contact.

So there you have it folks. Read my profile picture as well by the way, I'm definitely choosing option 3.
 
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W

Worthless loser

Member
Feb 13, 2020
45
Absurd wealth that would allow me to stop working and worrying about the future.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
A time machine. World peace would be nice to
 
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Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
Being dead plane and simple
 
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enjoy

enjoy

Creature
Dec 20, 2019
337
1. returning to my dream school to be with my friends and pursue a major i can't pursue anywhere else. i go to art school and most other universities don't offer the majors i'd like to explore. i was academically dismissed in january because my mental health destroyed me last semester.

2. fixing my relationship with my family. they don't treat me well. i'd really like for them to get into therapy, too. my mom definitely suffers from bpd and, on top of that, is an emotional abuser. my dad is an alcoholic and he neglects me. he compensates materialistically. they need help.

3. getting on accutane, getting invisalign, getting surgery for my eye, and adjusting my appearance. i've taken so little care of myself over the past few years that my exterior is starting to reflect my interior. god, depression is ugly.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I would need a time machine and with the knowledge I have now.
 
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Majin K.

Majin K.

too weak for this world
Jan 9, 2020
232
I would need a time machine and with the knowledge I have now.
I would like to relive my life with the knowledge I have now as well. I could undo all of my mistakes and wouldn't have been raped. I would have also mined crypto at every opportunity possible to get rich. Then I would have put some money into the FCEL stock.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I would like to relieve my life with the knowledge I have now as well. I could undo all of my mistakes and wouldn't have been raped. I would have also mined crypto at every opportunity possible to get rich.
Right buy in early to crypto.
 
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Nihil

Nihil

Student
Mar 4, 2019
111
1) Having been born as a biological female living my life as the correct gender. No guarantee life would have been better, but it'd make me really happy to feel like I at least actually "lived" and didn't miss out on all the key growing experiences of growing up from a girl to a woman.

2) Wipe out student debt. Rather self-explanatory. If I didn't have that, I'd be able to do more with life rather than chisel that debt down over the next 5-7 years.

3) Have my own cabin dream home out in the woods with Mother Nature, and never have to worry about money and survival ever again.

4) Someone to hug; to love and be loved by someone.
 
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Majin K.

Majin K.

too weak for this world
Jan 9, 2020
232
Right buy in early to crypto.
I mean I didn't have much cash in the first place when crypto flew to the moon, so I would just use my 2GB RAM toaster for mining.
1) Having been born as a biological female living my life as the correct gender. No guarantee life would have been better, but it'd make me really happy to feel like I at least actually "lived" and didn't miss out on all the key growing experiences of growing up from a girl to a woman.

2) Wipe out student debt. Rather self-explanatory. If I didn't have that, I'd be able to do more with life rather than chisel that debt down over the next 5-7 years.

3) Have my own cabin dream home out in the woods with Mother Nature, and never have to worry about money and survival ever again.

4) Someone to hug; to love and be loved by someone.
Regarding 1) all I can say is that the grass is always greener on the other side. You can't possibly know if you would be happier if you were born as a girl as your entire life would have went differently. Being a girl definitely has it's disadvantages as well and science has already proven that there is no such thing as being born in the wrong body.

entire scientific report here https://www.thenewatlantis.com/docLib/20160819_TNA50SexualityandGender.pdf).

That aside I sometimes wonder as well if I should have been born as a girl. After all mommy wanted me to be a girl and maybe I would be pretty. I'm not very proud of my hairy body and always found myself ugly. I also hate the feminist movement which demonizes men and only serves to empower the already most privileged sex in western society even more (women) by continuing to pretend to be victims. I also hate the societal expectations which come with being a man. I'm not strong, I'm not self confident, I don't like to be the one to initiate, I have emotions and like to cry. I would also like to be with a woman that is older than me and let her be the dominant partner in the relationship, so I guess I'm pretty crappy at being a man. Society also has no sympathy for men. Any sign of weakness is either being made fun of or people are looking down on you. As a girl you can cry as much as you want and be as weak as you want and people will still have sympathy for you. Girls also get to have full body orgasms, have more erotic spots and can continue to pleasure themselves even after cumming. I have erectile dysfunction and I'm a quick shot so there's that to.

Here's also a video of the feminist who pretended to be a man for 18 months and would much rather be a woman.
 
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A

aiden93

New Member
Feb 22, 2020
1
Moned
It would solve all my problems
 
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Dead Horse

Dead Horse

Hopeless, but literally
Nov 14, 2018
151
Mine is similar to the OP.

1) A loving girlfriend which will probably never happen because of my AvPD and my lack of experience, which at my age (26) is a problem on its own.
2) 2-3 friends.
3) A job with very little contact with people.

Even then, it's doudtful I'd be really happy, though. Just not as miserable. I don't believe I'm really capable of being happy.
 
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Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,776
For me, it would be a big red button that would cause the Earth to either explode in a giant fireball or fly straight into the sun the moment I pressed it. With something like that, I could solve all of the world's problems in an instant.
 
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Majin K.

Majin K.

too weak for this world
Jan 9, 2020
232
Mine is similar to the OP.

1) A loving girlfriend which will probably never happen because of my AvPD and my lack of experience, which at my age (26) is a problem on its own.
2) 2-3 friends.
3) A job with very little contact with people.

Even then, it's doudtful I'd be really happy, though. Just not as miserable. I don't believe I'm really capable of being happy.
It's just such a shame. The girl I like and which understands me really well is already taken by her girlfriend of 5 years. I doubt I'll ever find a girl like her again. She isn't very pretty, but that doesn't matter to me. I do have 4 friends. As I said in my initial post while they're scarce there are definitely jobs with little to no customer contact. You could work as a warehouseman for example. Or maybe in a factory. As for me neither of those sound appealing. I'm going to be bored to death either way, so at least let me be bored while sitting in an office chair.
 
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Ham Commander

Ham Commander

RIP in peace.
Feb 13, 2020
26
If I knew I don't think I would be here. Even if I did have everything I thought I ever wanted I feel like at best I would just be distracted.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
If I could start life over in God Mode that would make me very happy for a long time : )
 
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Nihil

Nihil

Student
Mar 4, 2019
111
Regarding 1) all I can say is that the grass is always greener on the other side. You can't possibly know if you would be happier if you were born as a girl as your entire life would have went differently. Being a girl definitely has it's disadvantages as well and science has already proven that there is no such thing as being born in the wrong body.

entire scientific report here https://www.thenewatlantis.com/docLib/20160819_TNA50SexualityandGender.pdf).

1550277772670

True, there's no way to know if I would have been happier being born as a biological female as things in life could have, and likely would have, gone down quite differently. What I do know is that if I have to live the rest of my life as a guy being something I'm not, just fucking kill me now. And one thing science has proven is that:

Screenshot 20191120 123649 Chrome

Then throw in the amount of people who are murdered for simply trying to express and identify as how they truly feel with respect to gender identity:

1582513428664

And one has to start to wonder if there's something more to this "not being born in the right body/gender dysphoria" thing. Because strip me and break me of my identity, well...I can tell you the only thing that'd make me happy by that point is a bullet in my head.
 

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T

TheSuicidalEccentric

The universe is wonderful.
Feb 23, 2020
438
For me to be happy? Like everyone replying to this thread, I could ramble on about my fantasies and ideologies, but that is unrealistic. For me to be happy, I'd want to get some people from this site to run away into the wilderness with and create our own off-grid society. No more modern day societal struggle.
 
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Nov 16, 2019
867
The ability to be self reliant, no stress just to get in my car and drive somewhere. Maybe a more enjoyable job that doesn't put so much strain on my body.
 
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Pryras

Pryras

Last hope
Feb 11, 2020
550
The pain to stop
 
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M

Montmorency_1

Member
Feb 21, 2020
22
Everything that would make me happy is beyond my control. I don't know who here is a person of colour, and can therefore relate, but the feeling that your existence is always going to be inferior to others because of the colour of your skin, the fact that, however hard you work, whatever you achieve, you will ALWAYS be 'less than' is unbearable. And on top of that are people denying those very experiences you have. Racism is deadly. It eats away at your sense of self, it diminishes you from a living, breathing human being, to less than an animal (people seem more willing to defend the rights of the environment and animals than they are of fellow human beings). Your existence is more unstable than an animal - it's reliant on others 'tolerating' you. Why do people always talk of being 'tolerant' of black people? Why is my existence only 'tolerated' in some fickle way, dependent on others wanting (even 'wanting' is an exaggeration - that suggests they care either way, when usually it's just indifference) me to live or breathe? I'm so tired of having to fight for everything. Everything is about survival rather than living and thriving.

This can apply to lots of things, but when ever a famous person dies it's considered a 'tragedy'. Why? They apparently had everything to live for. They were beautiful, and rich, and everyone loved them, wanted to be them. What about the people nobody wants to be? Would their death be considered a tragedy, or an act of mercy?

I see myself as existing to 'make up the numbers', so, in that case, whether I live or die doesn't make the world better or worse, but simply the same.

There's so much pressure to prove your worth, to show you're worthy of life. Inevitably, under the weight of all that pressure, you trip up. You never fulfil your true, great potential. And then what?

You can't even voice these worries or stresses because they're dismissed as 'in your head'. No. Racism is real, and it is deeply engrained in every part of society.

Beyond racism, for anyone in society deemed 'undesirable', or 'damaged', all the hype around 'suicide awareness', the campaigns urging people to 'talk', none of it is for you. You're the exception, Your death is no 'beautiful tragedy', but an inevitable outcome - not a loss, but not a gain either. It's simply irrelevant.

The vomit-inducing platitudes that are assuring you these feelings are temporary, that 'this will pass'. They don't apply to you. This is your reality, the consequence of who you were born as. You're meant to loathe yourself, you're the 'wrong' type of person.

I hate it when people get so caught up in explaining mental health in purely genetic or scientific terms. It excuses society, absolves it of any blame in causing people to crave death. You can take all anti depressants you like, but no amount of serotonin is going to make you happy, or even just not suicidal, if the world around you treats you like nothing. And it's not just being called the 'n' word. It's the micro aggressions that drive you to insanity. They're subtle, but powerful. They're enough to eat away at you, but sly enough to be dismissed by those who don't, or are incapable of seeing it, so then you're left alone with your thoughts and feelings, with nowhere to put them, and no-one to shoulder the burden with you, and soon you sink.

To anyone, black or not (there are many ways of 'othering' people in this world, but being black, female, and Muslim (although not practising) means I've already got 3 strikes) that feels like the world only 'tolerates' them, that they only exist because they happened to be born, not because people care for their life, I understand.

So, in answer to what can make me happy, I say, nothing, really. And that's the way it was meant to be.
 
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Majin K.

Majin K.

too weak for this world
Jan 9, 2020
232
View attachment 28167

True, there's no way to know if I would have been happier being born as a biological female as things in life could have, and likely would have, gone down quite differently. What I do know is that if I have to live the rest of my life as a guy being something I'm not, just fucking kill me now. And one thing science has proven is that:

View attachment 28168

Then throw in the amount of people who are murdered for simply trying to express and identify as how they truly feel with respect to gender identity:

View attachment 28171

And one has to start to wonder if there's something more to this "not being born in the right body/gender dysphoria" thing. Because strip me and break me of my identity, well...I can tell you the only thing that'd make me happy by that point is a bullet in my head.
The high suicide statistics alone make me question if transgenderism is a mental illness. Even those who undergo a gender reassignment surgery still tend to be highly suicidal so even transitioning doesn't seem to be the cure.
Everything that would make me happy is beyond my control. I don't know who here is a person of colour, and can therefore relate, but the feeling that your existence is always going to be inferior to others because of the colour of your skin, the fact that, however hard you work, whatever you achieve, you will ALWAYS be 'less than' is unbearable. And on top of that are people denying those very experiences you have. Racism is deadly. It eats away at your sense of self, it diminishes you from a living, breathing human being, to less than an animal (people seem more willing to defend the rights of the environment and animals than they are of fellow human beings). Your existence is more unstable than an animal - it's reliant on others 'tolerating' you. Why do people always talk of being 'tolerant' of black people? Why is my existence only 'tolerated' in some fickle way, dependent on others wanting (even 'wanting' is an exaggeration - that suggests they care either way, when usually it's just indifference) me to live or breathe? I'm so tired of having to fight for everything. Everything is about survival rather than living and thriving.

This can apply to lots of things, but when ever a famous person dies it's considered a 'tragedy'. Why? They apparently had everything to live for. They were beautiful, and rich, and everyone loved them, wanted to be them. What about the people nobody wants to be? Would their death be considered a tragedy, or an act of mercy?

I see myself as existing to 'make up the numbers', so, in that case, whether I live or die doesn't make the world better or worse, but simply the same.

There's so much pressure to prove your worth, to show you're worthy of life. Inevitably, under the weight of all that pressure, you trip up. You never fulfil your true, great potential. And then what?

You can't even voice these worries or stresses because they're dismissed as 'in your head'. No. Racism is real, and it is deeply engrained in every part of society.

Beyond racism, for anyone in society deemed 'undesirable', or 'damaged', all the hype around 'suicide awareness', the campaigns urging people to 'talk', none of it is for you. You're the exception, Your death is no 'beautiful tragedy', but an inevitable outcome - not a loss, but not a gain either. It's simply irrelevant.

The vomit-inducing platitudes that are assuring you these feelings are temporary, that 'this will pass'. They don't apply to you. This is your reality, the consequence of who you were born as. You're meant to loathe yourself, you're the 'wrong' type of person.

I hate it when people get so caught up in explaining mental health in purely genetic or scientific terms. It excuses society, absolves it of any blame in causing people to crave death. You can take all anti depressants you like, but no amount of serotonin is going to make you happy, or even just not suicidal, if the world around you treats you like nothing. And it's not just being called the 'n' word. It's the micro aggressions that drive you to insanity. They're subtle, but powerful. They're enough to eat away at you, but sly enough to be dismissed by those who don't, or are incapable of seeing it, so then you're left alone with your thoughts and feelings, with nowhere to put them, and no-one to shoulder the burden with you, and soon you sink.

To anyone, black or not (there are many ways of 'othering' people in this world, but being black, female, and Muslim (although not practising) means I've already got 3 strikes) that feels like the world only 'tolerates' them, that they only exist because they happened to be born, not because people care for their life, I understand.

So, in answer to what can make me happy, I say, nothing, really. And that's the way it was meant to be.
I wouldn't consider being a woman to be a strike unless you live in a third country. In first countries women are held on a pedestal, get special treatment, privileges like gender quotas etc. As a man however you're the demonized sex. Treated by western society like defective girls.
 
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peacefully31425

peacefully31425

Dirtbag
Aug 28, 2018
162
I'd be happy if I had a place to my own away from my family. I have so much anxiety and fear from interacting with others, it seems to always end in disaster. I've been having a hard time leaving my room these past couple weeks.
 
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Serio

Serio

Member
Feb 24, 2020
84
Honestly only way I think I could be happy is to feel like im not a failure and people care about me but because those feelings will never go away it seems I dont think I ever will be but that would be the only way
 
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Plainjane

Plainjane

Member
Feb 25, 2020
15
To have my health, fitness & identity back. To undo the mistakes i've done 2 years ago
 
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A

alphabetsoup

Member
Feb 26, 2020
19
As for me:

1. My cousin dying who raped me. Unlikely as I won't murder him, but not wanting to see him anymore is the main reason why I want to die.

This. My first thought was that it would take the death of my rapists. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry ♡
 
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M

Midnight-rain

Student
Jan 1, 2020
191
1. To finally be comfortable with myself and my body. To look in the mirror and smile at who I'm seeing.
2. To know with 100% certainty what I want to do with my life and have a fulfilling career.
3. To be incapable of romantically loving others.
4. For my anger issues to go away.
5. To have genuine friendships that don't end.
This is all just wishful thinking however, especially the fifth one. No friendships last forever. Depression always comes back to sneak up on me. Happiness is fleeting. Is it so wrong of me to desire the one permanent aspect of life we all experience?
 
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DeathNoot

DeathNoot

Student
Feb 19, 2020
137
Money. It sounds a bit ridiculous but with my mental illness I'd be content to live my whole life as a recluse if only I could afford it. I suppose a job with very little contact with people would also work. Of course thats probably wishful thinking, I'm sure I'd find a way to be miserable anyways
 
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lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
Even though death brings nothing. I still feel that would be the closet I can get to becoming ''happy''.

But maybe
1. Being good looking. I have a crooked nose, crooked lip and lazy eye so I'm on the lower end of the attractiveness scale.
2. A caring family
3. Good mental health
4. To have thick skin.
5. Everyone to get along regardless of race, nationality or any difference.

That's all I can think about that could bring me happiness.
 
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http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
1,043
A new brain.
 
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