For the past day I've felt dead and so empty.
I don't think there's any kind of therapy that beats holding a woman (I like to be the big spoon), running her hair in between your fingers, and lightly stroking her skin.
I really wish I could do this right now, unfortunately we have this stupid quarantine so I can't fly anywhere.
Idk I can feel I'm getting closer to ending it all. I have SN and meto ready to go, part of me just wants to take it and end this god awful feeling.
I'm so broken and so mentally ill, I can feel it in my bones. I know there is something deeply wrong with my mind.
I don't know if I really feel sad or lonely, I dont know how else to describe how I feel besides a feeling of being fundamentally flawed. I'm dead on the inside, I feel so empty and see no hope.
I don't even know if I want friends, or a girlfriend, or whatever. I don't think a hug would do anything for me because I'd just assume the person hugging me feels disgusted and I'd feel bad for them. I just want the pain to stop and day by day I'm more convinced that the only way out is to die.