What would you do in the last few weeks and on the last day before CTB? What would you do in the last few weeks(months) & on the last day before CTB?

[busrider]

Hi SS! my first post here. I've already decided on a method (SN) and have everything I need except SN (because I want to do home delivery, but for that I need to be alone at home). I know for sure that I will be alone for about a week and a half at the end of summer (my family is leaving for vacation). From now on I have about 3-3.5 weeks. Actually there is a chance that I will have to pospone it all to the winter months (like late December-early January), but still. The last five years I've been clinically depressed, taking a lot of pills, going to therapy and still not being able to get back to my _normal_happy_life_ That's why at least these few weeks(months) I want to spend in peace doing simple things that can bring me some happiness. So far I think about the details and want to start interacting with the site and people here

during these 3 weeks (dont have a plan for months, but I definitely have to go back to university):

1. Сut my hair short
2. Review your favorite movies, cartoons, anime
3. Read the last book of a series of books that I have been reading for 1.5 year (due to depression, it is not so big lol)
4. Maybe I'll go to the cinema with a friend to see a movie that came out recently

on my last day:

• since I need to drink the minimum amount of water, I will drink the last cup of my favorite tea early in the morning
• check again the farewell notes for friends and family
• probably I will try some meditation (1-2 hours OR MORE idk I'm pretty anxious) to relax
• clean my room for the last time
• watch my favorite cartoon with friends on discord (actually we are just good acquaintances, but these people have been so much supporting me through internet, thx to them)
• take a short walk later in the evening to visit the fountains near my house
• take a bath and make all these things like face and hair mask, body scrub, bath bomb, candles, etc
• we have a tradition: talking on the discord until someone falls asleep. This time I will be the one who falls asleep. I'll put up a playlist that I'll make in advance and just say «I took my sleeping pills» (they know about depression and the medications so nothing suspicious)

sooooooooo any other ideas? Just in case: I live in a small town, so I don't have options like going to the mall or something, just the little things you can do during this time

 

[GuessWhosBack]

Personally, I would do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Last few weeks - go wild camping in Scotland because it's so beautiful and not crowded when I've been there. You can easily not see people.
Day before - spend the time with a horse because they are so calming and undemanding, and are happy for you to just breathe with them. There's some kind of intuitive subtle bond between horses and humans.

Very good post because I hadn't thought of these things. Thank you.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I'm going to kill myself and all I'm doing is suffering until then. There's not going to be a final meal or final conversation. There's not going to be anything I enjoy until I'm dead. I wish I could have any of those things. If I could though, I know I wouldn't kill myself personally. It's different for everyone.

 

[outrider567]

If I planned it 24 hours in advance, I would buy a lot of Publix Supermarket Chocolate Ice cream, and haagen daas strawberry ice cream

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally don't wish to experience existence at all under any circumstances as such just causes me to suffer, sleeping is the best way to pass time to me as it's the closest to not existing which is all I see as desirable. Personally I wish I never existed at all, I find existing to be a futile and torturous burden.

 

[Cyagangy]

Hi SS! my first post here. I've already decided on a method (SN) and have everything I need except SN (because I want to do home delivery, but for that I need to be alone at home). I know for sure that I will be alone for about a week and a half at the end of summer (my family is leaving for vacation). From now on I have about 3-3.5 weeks. Actually there is a chance that I will have to pospone it all to the winter months (like late December-early January), but still. The last five years I've been clinically depressed, taking a lot of pills, going to therapy and still not being able to get back to my _normal_happy_life_ That's why at least these few weeks(months) I want to spend in peace doing simple things that can bring me some happiness. So far I think about the details and want to start interacting with the site and people here

during these 3 weeks (dont have a plan for months, but I definitely have to go back to university):

1. Сut my hair short
2. Review your favorite movies, cartoons, anime
3. Read the last book of a series of books that I have been reading for 1.5 year (due to depression, it is not so big lol)
4. Maybe I'll go to the cinema with a friend to see a movie that came out recently

on my last day:

• since I need to drink the minimum amount of water, I will drink the last cup of my favorite tea early in the morning
• check again the farewell notes for friends and family
• probably I will try some meditation (1-2 hours OR MORE idk I'm pretty anxious) to relax
• clean my room for the last time
• watch my favorite cartoon with friends on discord (actually we are just good acquaintances, but these people have been so much supporting me through internet, thx to them)
• take a short walk later in the evening to visit the fountains near my house
• take a bath and make all these things like face and hair mask, body scrub, bath bomb, candles, etc
• we have a tradition: talking on the discord until someone falls asleep. This time I will be the one who falls asleep. I'll put up a playlist that I'll make in advance and just say «I took my sleeping pills» (they know about depression and the medications so nothing suspicious)

sooooooooo any other ideas? Just in case: I live in a small town, so I don't have options like going to the mall or something, just the little things you can do during this time

I would spend more time with loved ones and finish recording my suicide notes. But since I'm dying after episode Aigis comes out I'm probably gonna be playing that.

 

[kyhoti]

I've been trying to do things that I enjoy, or that I think I'll like. I've been watching all the shows I missed while I was locked away. I've been treating myself to take-out and restaurant food, because, hey, money isn't going to do me any good soon. For some weird reason that I cannot figure out, I just want to make it past my birthday. I want to see a few more sunsets/sunrises, and stare at the stars, things I couldn't really do locked in the ward.

 

[etherealspring]

i would live my life as normal. there's nothing else i desire from life, i am just waiting until im ready and the time is right

 

[esistzeit]

Through my personal experience I have learned that if I make my last day happy and special I will want to have another one. Because of that I've been failing my attempts, so from now on I will try to keep it as casual as possible.

 

[agony1996]

I'm so severely depressed that I can't enjoy anything, there's nothing that brings me any joy.. I'll be in emotional torture until I ctb, if I'm able to go through with it, there's too many emotional ties and a lot of fear, but yeah I will not be doing anything but suffering.

 

[busrider]

make sense. Now I just want to wake up, walk my dog and listen to music or watch something on YouTube

 

[Bleneviola]

Last few weeks- have to study for an exam and complete assignments. Not that bothered because this will be the last exam of my life. After my exams I want to hang out with my best friend once, eat some of my favorite food, watch my fav movies/shows, complete my letters.
Last day:- go to college and pick up the last things I need, have my last meal at 4pm, go on a walk with my mom, read my favourite book, then SN at 12am

 

[RoseGarden]

I have a friend that I have an absolutely massive crush on. I think it's mutual, the way she talks to me kinda implies it is. Before I go through with it, I'm going to see her again and at least get a hug, if I can't work up the courage to tell her. She's stuck in a loveless, and arguably abusive marriage so it's unlikely anything will come of it, but I do want her to know how much she means to me

 

[thot88]

I have been using opiates for the last 2 weeks when it doesn't matter anymore even if I get addicted

 

[busrider]

I have a friend that I have an absolutely massive crush on. I think it's mutual, the way she talks to me kinda implies it is. Before I go through with it, I'm going to see her again and at least get a hug, if I can't work up the courage to tell her. She's stuck in a loveless, and arguably abusive marriage so it's unlikely anything will come of it, but I do want her to know how much she means to me

go for it little one, better to do something and regret than not to do and then all your life to regret about missed opportunities

 

[RoseGarden]

go for it little one, better to do something and regret than not to do and then all your life to regret about missed opportunities

my issue is that she's married, it's a loveless and kinda abusive relationship but still, it's a barrier. maybe being open with her will give her the courage to leave but i'm not convinced.

 

[busrider]

my issue is that she's married, it's a loveless and kinda abusive relationship but still, it's a barrier. maybe being open with her will give her the courage to leave but i'm not convinced.

friend, this relationship is abusive, which means she probably thinks that no one will need her except the abuser. telling her how you feel, you'll show her that she can actually be loved by other people. i think it is really important. But the choice is always up to you. It doesn't really have to be a romantic confession. just knowing that someone can take care of her and love her as a friend is also important. It doesn't really have to be a romantic confession. just knowing that someone can take care of her and love her as a friend would be encouraging too