Help What would you do?

[Anarchy]

Put yourself in this situation: you are a minor in the UK and you want to go by train. There are some tracks just a ten minute walk from your house. You have been sectioned before so people are a lot more suspicious of you. They are also suspicious of you because you ran away recently and consequently had to stay in hospital for a week.
You're extremely paranoid and that makes you feel like you can't attempt, because you feel like you would always get caught.
You live with your parents and sibling, and there is an aggressive dog in the house that might wake up and make to attack you if it were to hear you come downstairs in the early morning. But that's what you have to do - you have to get out when everyone else is asleep because you are never left in the house alone. Ever.
Even if you were to sneak downstairs early in the morning, get past the dog, climb out the window, and head to the tracks, you'd still have your thoughts to overcome.
You worry about getting to the tracks, being too scared to do it, and after standing there for an unearthly amount of time, being noticed by someone and being sectioned. You'd rather die than be sectioned.
Would you force yourself to go out when everyone's asleep, even though you don't feel ready and would have to force yourself to do it?
Or would you plan it out and set a date as you have been doing for the last year or so and just hope that this time will be the right time?
How would you get past the paranoia?
And the dog?

I thought that I'd feel scared when I ran away, but I felt free. It felt a bit surreal to see the lights of the place I was fleeing growing more and more distant. I wasn't scared when I was caught, but that was because I'd thought that I was going to drown and I'd decided that I didn't want to die in that way.

I wonder if running away to kill myself will be much different. If I am found, I wonder if I will be terrified at being locked up, or if I will be relieved to be stopped from doing it.

I want to run away again. I think that it would be cool to just leave and travel randomly and eventually die of dehydration, but that seems risky and I would not know what to do.

Would you run away and hope to die from dehydration, hoping that death comes to you, or would you run to the tracks and force yourself to end it before you risked being caught?

 

[Comatose11]

Is it all possible to leave during he day? Could you maybe say you're seeing a friend or something?

 

[Anarchy]

Nah, I don't go out on my own. I don't friends. I could only go out without raising suspicion by claiming to take the dog out, but then I'd need to actually take it out and I couldn't do it with the dog there.

 

[No Future]

Would you force yourself to go out when everyone's asleep, even though you don't feel ready and would have to force yourself to do it?

If you're not ready, you're not ready. That's a fairly binary choice.

It seems as if your dog is your single largest obstacle. A lot of people here would feel blessed if that was the only thing in their way!

There's a lot of hesitation here, and I'm not bashing you for it. You've stated you're not ready in a couple different ways. For now, you have a roof over your head, and time. Is there a deadline?

One thing I am sure about: I wouldn't run off and try to die of dehydration. That'd suck massive arse.

 

[Anarchy]

The deadline is the around the end of August, early September, basically whenever the holidays end.

 

[Comatose11]

I agree with the user saying dehydration isn't a nice way to go. I was once so severely dehydrated I had to stay in the hospital for a couple days just to get IV fluids. It was awful.

 

[Anarchy]

Yeah, seems awful; I was on IV fluids for a week. Then again, most methods are awful, and it's the most passive way to go. I figure that it's probably better to be on fluids than to be in hospital being treated for major blood loss with irrepairable injuries.

 

[creatureoflight]

Killing yourself by jumping under a train is risky and stupid. And it can damage your body permanently if found

 

[Anarchy]

The same can be said of any method. But thank you for your thoughtful reply.

 

[creatureoflight]

The same can be said of any method. But thank you for your thoughtful reply.

There are several disadvantages to the train method: if the train is too slow, it will simply cut your legs off or an arm and leave you permanently disfigured for the rest of your life. Then there is the shock factor: someone will see you, at the latest the train driver and call an ambulance. So the chance of you getting saved is pretty high. I saw a video of a guy once who jumped under a train and lost his legs. He is now in a wheelchair.
It is a stupid thing to do and not a good method to die

 

[Ashpac]

Put yourself in this situation: you are a minor in the UK and you want to go by train. There are some tracks just a ten minute walk from your house. You have been sectioned before so people are a lot more suspicious of you. They are also suspicious of you because you ran away recently and consequently had to stay in hospital for a week.
You're extremely paranoid and that makes you feel like you can't attempt, because you feel like you would always get caught.
You live with your parents and sibling, and there is an aggressive dog in the house that might wake up and make to attack you if it were to hear you come downstairs in the early morning. But that's what you have to do - you have to get out when everyone else is asleep because you are never left in the house alone. Ever.
Even if you were to sneak downstairs early in the morning, get past the dog, climb out the window, and head to the tracks, you'd still have your thoughts to overcome.
You worry about getting to the tracks, being too scared to do it, and after standing there for an unearthly amount of time, being noticed by someone and being sectioned. You'd rather die than be sectioned.
Would you force yourself to go out when everyone's asleep, even though you don't feel ready and would have to force yourself to do it?
Or would you plan it out and set a date as you have been doing for the last year or so and just hope that this time will be the right time?
How would you get past the paranoia?
And the dog?

I thought that I'd feel scared when I ran away, but I felt free. It felt a bit surreal to see the lights of the place I was fleeing growing more and more distant. I wasn't scared when I was caught, but that was because I'd thought that I was going to drown and I'd decided that I didn't want to die in that way.

I wonder if running away to kill myself will be much different. If I am found, I wonder if I will be terrified at being locked up, or if I will be relieved to be stopped from doing it.

I want to run away again. I think that it would be cool to just leave and travel randomly and eventually die of dehydration, but that seems risky and I would not know what to do.

Would you run away and hope to die from dehydration, hoping that death comes to you, or would you run to the tracks and force yourself to end it before you risked being caught?

It sounds like you are desperate but since you have helped me out. I will try to help you out. You are on lockdown, your chances arent looking good especially with that dog.

You could run away but you best have a plan when you do so.
SN or something so you can swallow along the way and find somewhere to die.
But i doubt that would happen. Maybe hanging is your only choice like it is with me.
Just think of how many people have done it in the past, millions, including celebrities.
I dont want you to die.
But least I have freedom to kill myself because my family know i want to die and because of what ive been through,
they have said if they had my life, they would kill themselves too, which is an awesome thing to hear but in another way its tragic.
Not because they are bad people but because they know the pain ive been through.
I would definitely choose another method for your sake.

 

[Anarchy]

For a "stupid" method, it is considered very reliable. Death is practically ensured, if not by the initial impact then by blood loss. Of course there are instances where it fails badly, but that's the case with any method. Even if the train is slow, it is still very heavy and will cause lots of damage.

 

[Ashpac]

I never said it was stupid. Maybe someone else did. Its effective. I just think your living arrangements make it very hard for you to do this.

 

[Anarchy]

I have trouble formulating plams for anything. I just want something with little preparation. I can't order and lethal drugs because I have no money and I live with my family, and it is likely that I could mess hanging up, but I can't screw up standing on some tracks.

 

[creatureoflight]

For a "stupid" method, it is considered very reliable. Death is practically ensured, if not by the initial impact then by blood loss. Of course there are instances where it fails badly, but that's the case with any method. Even if the train is slow, it is still very heavy and will cause lots of damage.

I disagree-mortality is about 60-70% for jumping under a subway train or a slower train and more if jumping under a high speed train. The odds of surviving are one in three. Do you really want that kind of risk? If you don't die, it will be excruciatingly painful and destroy your body forever. You are also damaging the train driver's mind who is only doing his job and delaying a whole bunch of people.

 

[Anarchy]

I never said it was stupid. Maybe someone else did. Its effective. I just think your living arrangements make it very hard for you to do this.

Ah, yes, I was referring to what someone else said. Train seems to be my best option. I don't understand why it is so controversial.

 

[Anarchy]

I disagree-mortality is about 60-70% for jumping under a subway train or a slower train and more if jumping under a high speed train. The odds of surviving are one in three. Do you really want that kind of risk? If you don't die, it will be excruciatingly painful and destroy your body forever. You are also damaging the train driver's mind who is only doing his job and delaying a whole bunch of people.

Morals are entirely subjective.
The way I see it, even getting hit by a slow train will likely cause you to blees to death.

 

[Ashpac]

I think it is for a few reasons.

1. Its very public.
2. The train driver gets haunted because of it.
3. People see it as a bad thing.

Im not judging at all. Im just trying to help.

Make sure you know what youre doing and dont get caught and locked up in a psyche ward.

May you get peace like I hope I do.

 

[creatureoflight]

Morals are entirely subjective.
The way I see it, even getting hit by a slow train will likely cause you to blees to death.

I think your overestimating your chances of dying and doing something that's pretty selfish. Suicide in itself is not selfish but damaging the train driver's mind is.

 

[Anarchy]

@Ashpac
Thanks. I'd have no idea about hanging so I think it's safe to say that train is the method that I'm most sure about. I figure that I'd be a lot more likely to get caught if I used any other method.

 

[Ashpac]

Didn't you open a thread on exactly the same topic a few weeks ago? There was a bunch of people there trying to convince you not to die this way, I'm not the only one who thinks that it is a risky and selfish thing to do

Bit harsh for saying its selfish. Risky yes, but some people really are that desperate. If they had clinics open for the people who want to die, then I guarantee no one would jump infront of a train. It depends how you look at it.

 

[creatureoflight]

Bit harsh for saying its selfish. Risky yes, but some people really are that desperate. If they had clinics open for the people who want to die, then I guarantee no one would jump infront of a train. It depends how you look at it.

I'm not saying suicide in itself is selfish, but he is causing the train driver a lot of distress by making himself get run over.

 

[Ashpac]

I think your overestimating your chances of dying and doing something that's pretty selfish. Suicide in itself is not selfish but damaging the train driver's mind is.

Not to be a bad guy but just wanna point out that suicide damages everyone who loves that person. Again, it depends on how you look at it.

 

[creatureoflight]

Not to be a bad guy but just wanna point out that suicide damages everyone who loves that person. Again, it depends on how you look at it.

Of course he is damaging his family too, but here he is also damaging a person who is working and has nothing to do with the suicidal person. Why must more people get involved in this?

 

[Anarchy]

I think your overestimating your chances of dying and doing something that's pretty selfish. Suicide in itself is not selfish but damaging the train driver's mind is.

Please refrain from judging other people's methods. I get it, you don't like death by train. If it offends you so much, don't post here.
Judging other people for their methods seems pretty selfish to me...

 

[Ashpac]

Of course he is damaging his family too, but here he is also damaging a person who is working and has nothing to do with the suicidal person. Why must more people get involved in this?

Thats life sadly. I get where youre coming from, but tell the government theyre selfish for not opening clinics so that people can die. Blame the people higher up. Not the people who are suffering who have tried everything to stay alive. They are just desperate to be pain free. You know im right.

 

[creatureoflight]

Please refrain from judging other people's methods. I get it, you don't like death by train. If it offends you so much, don't post here.
Judging other people for their methods seems pretty selfish to me...

Why should I not speak up and say something if I feel strongly on the subject? I think I have made my point clear enough, so I will not be posting anything more about this topic in this thread.
First and foremost, you are risking damaging yourself because with this method in particular, you risk ending in a wheelchair and in constant pain for the rest of your life. Then you are also damaging other innocent people who don't even know you. It's just a pointless method.

 

[creatureoflight]

Thats life sadly. I get where youre coming from, but tell the government theyre selfish for not opening clinics so that people can die. Blame the people higher up. Not the people who are suffering who have tried everything to stay alive. They are just desperate to be pain free. You know im right.

I understand that, but there are other methods and other things that can be done that don't involve trains. It doesn't have to be like this.

 

[Anarchy]

@creatureoflight
Well, I for one feel very strongly on the subject of your offending people for no reason. Should I give a massive rant about how offensive and entitled you come across?
Shaming other people for their methods is the same as non-suicidal people shaming suicidal people for wanting to kill themselves.

 

[Ashpac]

I hate to sound brutal but if the worse pain in my life was to see someone jump on a track and kill them selves, id take it. Id take that pain over the pain ive been through in my life. My pain, why i want to end it, has been much worse and longer than seeing someone commit suicide on a train track. I do get what youre saying though, i really do :)