What would you tell your (hypothetical) child about santa?

[bleeding_heart_show]

This may seem like an odd question, but I hope that some of you will be willing to entertain it regardless.

I do not believe in lying to children. Would it not be better to tell them that they are receiving gifts because their parents/relatives love them and wish to treat them once a year? I cannot understand why parents lie to their children for nearly a decade only to break their trust (setting them up to distrust authority in the future in the process).

Another thing that adds to the cruelty of this practice is that once a child is told the truth they are forced into keeping a secret from children younger than them (teaching them that it is acceptable to lie).

Anyways, what are the forum members' thoughts on this?

And just for fun...

 

[vitbar]

I'd do what my parents did: unconvincing lie with honesty when confronted. We always knew who presents were from really as we'd have to write thank you letters. The explanation was that it was a kind of game for fun. Make believe.

I want people to question authority too. Also I don't think lying is black and white morally speaking.

 

[ma0]

Let the kids believe what forms naturally, I'm not gonna give them any input.

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

Thank you for the responses.

I'd do what my parents did: unconvincing lie with honesty when confronted. We always knew who presents were from really as we'd have to write thank you letters. The explanation was that it was a kind of game for fun. Make believe.

I want people to question authority too. Also I don't think lying is black and white morally speaking.

I agree with questioning authority and that lying can be nuanced. I worry my wording implied that I believe in blindly following authority when that is far from the case.

My father took the approach that you described. It went about as well as it possibly could have, so maybe it is the least abrasive way to go about things. I like that it respects the child's intelligence.

Let the kids believe what forms naturally, I'm not gonna give them any input.

I am partial to this idea, but at the same time would worry about them hearing things from their peers and then coming to me with questions. In that situation I would be inclined to be honest, but with that honesty comes asking them to reinforce the lie their peers are being told.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't have children. Hard to say though. Personally, I loved believing in Santa when I was young. It was so exciting. Magical. I don't really recall it being a crushing blow to find out they weren't real eventually. Or, like some evil deception. There was other shit in my childhood that was far worse!

It's like everything else though. What's best? That children are shielded from the shittiness of this world until necessary or, that they see the brutality and unfairness from the start? Not exactly related but, sometimes I've wondered about the other lies we get told. That we only need to work hard to be rewarded. That fairytale love exists. What if we get given no hope though? No sense that things will turn out ok? That it's all danger and risk out there? Would we even bother to try if we felt our chances were so uncertain?

I know you're not saying that of course. That children should still be well looked after and given gifts. Just that they know where they come from. I don't know really. Things like playing- imaginary worlds etc. seems important to growing imagination and enthusiasm. I'm not convinced a very scientific approach to everything gives as much pleasure as a more wondorous approach.

Regardless though, I personally hold antinatilist views. So, Santa or not, I have deep concerns about bringing a child into this.

 

[SVEN]

Say it's an anagram of satan ... and he was the original liar ! (actually I'd probably wimp out and go along with the myth whilst they're very young).

 

[Pluto]

 

[SmilingNoMore]

I think it depends on whether you believe in Christmas or not, I mean in a religious way and tie it in with that. If Christian, Santa is not in the Bible as far as I know. I don't have kids and don't really do Christmas. But my sister, e.g., raises her kids with Bible stories and on Christmas day they read about it. The presents are given by people to people out of love for each other and in celebration of the "real" reason behind Christmas. They know there is no Santa, and the kids take turn to dress up as Santa when handing out the presents.

Having said this, Christmas in my home country is not as magical as in the movies (no snow!), and where I'm now, it's not even observed. So, the whole Santa thing was a bit lost on me.

 

[hellspawn]

My parents just told me about Santa but that he wasn't real and was a fun game to play. I liked it as a kid.