What would your friends and family say if they knew you were on SaSu

[bipbapbop]

I spend so much of my time here and I really feel safe talking to everyone here about the very difficult things that I am experiencing. However, it bothers me that the people in my life whom I am closest to will never know. I love them, but I am also afraid of them. I live alone so it's not that hard to hide it from everyone, but I wish I could share some of the incredible things that I have learned here. So many of you have shared such thought provoking insights into humanity and life that I would love to discuss with the people in my life, but I know they would be so worried and possibly angry if they knew I was here at all.

Does anyone else feel this massive disconnect between life on SaSu and irl?

Also, feel free to move this to Offtopic if it doesn't belong here, mods.

 

[Helween]

they would say that's stupid, life isn't that bad, it's gonna be okay.

 

[divinemistress36]

They would tell me to get a hobby

 

[sserafim]

I think they would be surprised that I'm "famous" lol. They also wouldn't like me wasting my time on this forum and would instead tell me to be "productive"

 

[bipbapbop]

they would say that's stupid, life isn't that bad, it's gonna be okay.

"tHiNgS wIlL gEt BeTtEr" God I hate that quote so much. I just wanna tell people to shut up when they say that to me.

They would tell me to get a hobby

SaSu is my hobby

I think they would be surprised that I'm "famous" lol

I would call you a SaSu legend at this point :p

 

[divinemistress36]

"tHiNgS wIlL gEt BeTtEr" God I hate that quote so much. I just wanna tell people to shut up when they say that to me.

SaSu is my hobby

Researching death is a hobby

 

[sserafim]

They would tell me to get a hobby

They would tell me to get a job

 

[INTJme]

Does anyone else feel this massive disconnect between life on SaSu and irl?

Absolutely! It's like I'm living two different lives but neither of them with full integrity or self-expression and that sucks.

They would tell me to get a hobby

Hobbies are just distractions. They don't help with recovery, only suppressing. I have/had many hobbies and I'm still here ready to ctb.

 

[Blue Elephant]

tHiNgS wIlL gEt BeTtEr

once we're six feet under.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Idk what they would tell me. Maybe the same things. *LOL*

 

[bipbapbop]

Absolutely! It's like I'm living two different lives but neither of them with full integrity or self-expression and that sucks.


Hobbies are just distractions. They don't help with recovery, only suppressing. I have/had many hobbies and I'm still here ready to ctb.

Yes, some of the people I know who suffer the most are the ones who have the most hobbies.

I feel like I started this thread after reading your thread earlier so I'm glad to see some of your insight here! You got me thinking :)

To add on about two different lives and neither of them being able to be full, I agree. I love that I can share my darkest thoughts and feelings here, but I also can't share my personal information. I'm a full person split in two. It's almost like this forum is a place for my disembodied suicidal thoughts to live, while the shell of my body exists in reality.

Idk what they would tell me. Maybe the same things. *LOL*

What do you mean by the same things? Like the same as other members here or same as in "things will get better"?

 

[maidens]

several of my online friends know and they don't care. a few of my friends are on here too actually. if any of my family found out though it would be game over

 

[Deleted member 65988]

That im just a part of a community of sad people who've got nothing better to do with their time except discussing ctb methods thinking they'll work while the world moves on and the fact that I'm here means that I've gone off the edge and need serious help, oh and that things get better and that I need to get out more.

Wouldn't change a thing about it though.

 

[sickgirlzis]

probably try to force me to go to church and shame me or something like that

 

[Blue Elephant]

several of my online friends know and they don't care. a few of my friends are on here too actually. if any of my family found out though it would be game over

What do you mean "game over"? Would they kill you?

 

[divinemistress36]

They would tell me to get a job

Tell them you are a "Social Media Influencer"

Absolutely! It's like I'm living two different lives but neither of them with full integrity or self-expression and that sucks.


Hobbies are just distractions. They don't help with recovery, only suppressing. I have/had many hobbies and I'm still here ready to ctb.

I admire your bravery and determination a lot

 

[bipbapbop]

several of my online friends know and they don't care. a few of my friends are on here too actually. if any of my family found out though it would be game over

That must feel so great to be able to talk to friends about it! I'm so jealous. Unfortunately, I'm a terribly private person even irl so I have never been able to make online friends.

Game over? Like they would section you or cut off access to SaSu?

 

[Blue Elephant]

I love that I can share my darkest thoughts and feelings here, but I also can't share my personal information.

Your personal information is not that important. That is just a front, here we look beyond that to the real person. Do you guys realise how honest we are with each-other? At this point if I met with any of you in real life I would still be just as honest as I am here. Not so much with my family though, they wouldn't understand.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't think any of my friends or family would have anything to say about it besides "Uh how about maybe don't???" when it comes to this site. They wouldn't be surprised by my high post count though since I'm known to be very wordy sometimes.

 

[bipbapbop]

Your personal information is not that important. That is just a front, here we look beyond that to the real person. Do you guys realise how honest we are with each-other? At this point if I met with any of you in real life I would still be just as honest as I am here. Not so much with my family though, they wouldn't understand.

Yeah, I think I'm just a very private person. I don't feel like I'm in danger if I share, but I do live with huge amounts of shame that I hide. Because of that, I won't share the circumstances that got me here even though I know no one would judge me or be able to identify me. That's what I mean by personal information.

I appreciate the honestly here. It's something so rare in the outside world.

I don't think any of my friends or family would have anything to say about it besides "Uh how about maybe don't???" when it comes to this site. They wouldn't be surprised by my high post count though since I'm known to be very wordy sometimes.

I, too, am a fellow yapper irl. That's why it's even crazier to me that no one has noticed that I've stopped communicating and withdrawn from everything. Oh well, they'll figure it out soon enough.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

"their doing it for attention" nough said

 

[Blue Elephant]

Yeah, I think I'm just a very private person. I don't feel like I'm in danger if I share, but I do live with huge amounts of shame that I hide. Because of that, I won't share the circumstances that got me here even though I know no one would judge me or be able to identify me. That's what I mean by personal information.

I appreciate the honestly here. It's something so rare in the outside world.

I'm not saying you should and I respect your wish for privacy.

You say that you live with shame, maybe you did something? maybe something was done to you? I don't think anyone would judge you harshly for it. If it's the former and you're sorry about it then people would be supportive, if it's the latter people would be supportive. I mean, I would. Regardless, maybe you shouldn't live with it, as in maybe you should let it go.

 

[bipbapbop]

"their doing it for attention" nough said

I hate that so much. This is why people don't open up and this is why people CTB. Sorry you have to deal with that kind of mentality around you.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I hate that so much. This is why people don't open up and this is why people CTB. Sorry you have to deal with that kind of mentality around you.

In all fairness i've sorta done it to myself i've talked about wanting to CTB alot over the years and only a decent portion of the time is there an genuine consideration or attempt or sorts so again I can't fully blame people nowadays though yea as i have hit a breaking point

 

[WoNkEy_DoNkEy]

Probably secretly call the nearest psych ward to come and assess me

 

[Raven2]

Some of my family know I'm on here, I got asked if I needed to go to see a doctor and how long I felt suicidal for, when I said a few years they said 'oh you havent attempted' so seemed to soothe them at least. I declined the doctors.

 

[Linda]

My husband knows. So long as I don't ctb while he is alive - and I won't - he has no problem with it. A few other people know too, and they don't care either.

 

[turbomightbegone]

I feel like my mother would just slap my fresh s/h wounds again if she found out I was on here instead of making another artwork that she can show off to her friends.

 

[bipbapbop]

I'm not saying you should and I respect your wish for privacy.

You say that you live with shame, maybe you did something? maybe something was done to you? I don't think anyone would judge you harshly for it. If it's the former and you're sorry about it then people would be supportive, if it's the latter people would be supportive. I mean, I would. Regardless, maybe you shouldn't live with it, as in maybe you should let it go.

I was watching Hannah Gadsby's Nanette last night and there was a quote that I think embodies my life very well.

"When you soak a child in shame they cannot develop the neurological pathways that carry thoughts, you know, thoughts of self worth."

When I had the energy to keep going, I was really optimistic that I could learn to live without shame some day, but now I am just tired.

I really appreciate your kindness. This is what I love about this place.

 

[divinemistress36]

In all fairness i've sorta done it to myself i've talked about wanting to CTB alot over the years and only a decent portion of the time is there an genuine consideration or attempt or sorts so again I can't fully blame people nowadays though yea as i have hit a breaking point

Same