Politecat
Member
- Dec 9, 2018
- 56
I mean, I'm really hoping when I do CTB not to think of anything depressing, more of something happy, y'know? Like the good memories just so I can go without being sad or angry.
-
Hey Guest,
As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.
Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt
Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVS
DD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8 -
Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.
If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
I will think of the beautiful memories I had with the love of my life who I lost but it will be depressing...
I will be thinking a mix of: I hope I don't survive, and thinking of my ideal world as my eternal afterlife (should there be one).
I'll be quite calm..
I'll be quite calm..
Honestly.. from previous close calls it will be "oh fk.. this is it". That's all. No thinking of loved ones or of what I won't get to do or what I'll escape from. Just the task at hand.
I'll be thinking: "This is the end of my pain".
15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
I'm going to think of the good times and the people I love, and how I'll finally be at peace
GhostedToast
Wants to disappear
- Sep 25, 2018
- 144
I'd think of my friend who I'm staying aroud for right now, how much they mean to me and all the times we've talked.
I'll be running a slideshow on my computer: my Beloved, whom I lost; my horses, now dead; the places I enjoyed. I expect my thoughts will be on them and, simultaneously, "please, please, let me succeed this time!"
Ill be surrounded by pictures and cards from my partner, put my engagement ring back on my finger, have the teddies we bought each other and keep thinking why i have to do this. Im hoping im not crashing around, vomitting and wanting to call for help
Sinbad
Self-Annihilation is loading...95%
- Nov 27, 2018
- 542
Help_Me
Gene pool mistake
- Oct 21, 2018
- 516
"finally this suffering comes to an end..."
311
Dying cat
- Nov 24, 2018
- 779
Xerxes
Invisible
- Nov 8, 2018
- 936
The figurative embrace of Death who is accepting my decision as sound and rational. It's welcoming me to the void.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Rose Mirren
roses are so overrated
- Dec 10, 2018
- 101
I'll most probably be calm. I'll think of how I've lived, not just existed. Just thinking about this makes me feel at peace now. But I'm done, the world has nothing more to offer for me. I'm ready to leave.
Eden2k
Experienced
- Nov 20, 2018
- 228
That it shouldn't have had to come to this.
Xerxes
Invisible
- Nov 8, 2018
- 936
Oh yeah, and this theme song will be playing in my head as well as I sum up my life.
Probably just the task at hand. I could think of the good or bad times but I've reminisced enough so there's no point.
Probably oh fuck no but it will be the best decision i ever make.
gingerplum
Enlightened
- Nov 5, 2018
- 1,450
Probably, "Let's get this the fuck over with" .
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
I am a bit more scared now- because I have failed twice.... but before when I made my OD attempts, it was amazing.... before I faded out to nothing I was really happy. It was a relief and I was genuinely happy- in a way I hadn't been in a very long time.
I think this time won't be nice and I am scared that I will die afraid.
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
... as much as I understand why each of us is making the decision to end our lives.... it's that picture that makes me so sad for everyone on here. I don't want anyone to die like that .... how is this all that people like us get? I know life isn't fair, but fuck....
J Tizzle
Member
- Dec 7, 2018
- 58
I've actually never thought about this. I would like to be unafraid but I know I'll be scared. I think I'll be listening to my favorite band and thinking about the friends who have already passed.
I have been thinking of my ex fiancée a lot even though it's been over a year. That will probably be my last thought. It's odd though. When I have been experimenting with partial hanging I have been feeling like someone or something is watching me(No one is actually watching me I live in a big house alone)
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
Maybe they are thinking about you or have some worries for your health? Or someone does? Might explain it....?
I don't think anyone has worries for my health. Maybe she is thinking about me. I am honestly not even sure if she will ever know I ctb.
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
Maybe it's just all of us here.... trying to figure it out by watching you ; )
It will be yelling to hurry the hell up and get this finished.
That's my thought about everything. I've done it all except this. It's taking way too long. That's why I'm so pissed off.
That's my thought about everything. I've done it all except this. It's taking way too long. That's why I'm so pissed off.
LostGirl
My time has come
- Dec 3, 2018
- 185
I think it's impossible to know in advance and definitely not something I could control. If possible, god pls grant me total darkness with zero thought and permit me to continue to be in that state for eternity.
"There better not be an afterlife."
Similar threads
Suicide Discussion
Queen B
Suicide Discussion
chasingfireflies
