
LuzurPhagget
Experienced
- Sep 15, 2019
- 288
Some friend I had in high school is now a manager/ financial advisor at Deloitte. A friend I had in college is a frickin "Operations Consultant" at Loblaws. A former lab partner is an account manager at Petro-Canada. Dafuq?!? And others are managers, senior planners. Dafuq?!? Not everyone has it in them to be a fucking manager, but apparently I was surrounded by budding "leaders of the future." Jesus. It feels like life is mocking me. The longest I've ever held a job was a year and a half (albeit with 2 major depressive episodes spread out in there). This time I was able to leave on my own terms (I guess THAT'S an accomplishment; not getting fired for fucksake), but still feel like I've accomplished shit! I don't even have any good references from that place! Fuck, I always feel like I have to restart from SCRATCH. It's so fucking exhausting. Just can't get ANYWHERE in life!
Anyway, I KNOW I shouldn't compare myself to others. A hundred years from now, and hell, a frickin few planets away from here, nobody will give a shit about what we accomplish on this Earth. But still, it just feels like all these people have grown and experienced good things in life and experienced joy...and I'm just a fucking wanker trying to stay alive for some reason. Constantly looking for "silver linings" and counting my blessings and trying to be grateful. Fuck. I dunno, it's so frustrating.
Anyway, I KNOW I shouldn't compare myself to others. A hundred years from now, and hell, a frickin few planets away from here, nobody will give a shit about what we accomplish on this Earth. But still, it just feels like all these people have grown and experienced good things in life and experienced joy...and I'm just a fucking wanker trying to stay alive for some reason. Constantly looking for "silver linings" and counting my blessings and trying to be grateful. Fuck. I dunno, it's so frustrating.