Discussion What's your thoughts about self harm?

[𝐘𝐨ñ𝐥𝐮]

Im cutting right now, it just makes the pain go away.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I have very conflicting feelings on my self-harm. It's something I commonly go to when my emotions become too much for me to handle and when I feel like I need to be punished. It does give me a temporary feeling of relief but it's also a hassle to deal with. Hiding the cuts, making sure they stay clean, trying to explain different bruises, scars, and markings on my skin, hiding my scars, making sure I don't get an infection, and the amount of supplies I often need to buy to deal with deep wounds stresses me out. That's not even getting into how ugly my scars make me feel, yet at the same time I also like them because it makes my sh feel valid and real.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I have very conflicting feelings on my self-harm. It's something I commonly go to when my emotions become too much for me to handle and when I feel like I need to be punished. It does give me a temporary feeling of relief but it's also a hassle to deal with. Hiding the cuts, making sure they stay clean, trying to explain different bruises, scars, and markings on my skin, hiding my scars, making sure I don't get an infection, and the amount of supplies I often need to buy to deal with deep wounds stresses me out. That's not even getting into how ugly my scars make me feel, yet at the same time I also like them because it makes my sh feel valid and real.

I completely relate. I returned to self-harm after being clean for nearly four years. I mainly self-harm to deal with numbness and my own inadequacies. It has been the greatest relief for me, considering I'm at my lowest point right now. Yet, I'm often pulled away from my habit due to the repercussions of being caught. I didn't sh for several weeks due to a community event I was planning to attend (and those three weeks clean ended up being useless in the end, since I didn't end up attending...) And now, I'm back in a similar position and I nearly got exposed for sh after I stupidly cut myself during this 'self-mandated clean period' of sorts to prevent discovery. The only reason I halt sh is so that nobody knows. But when I don't make my skin bleed, I feel like my self-harm isn't real/valid. Regardless of how / when you self-harm, your pain is still real. I've been working on telling myself that.

 

[Promised Heaven]

Self harm at least to me is anything you do to yourself with the sole intention to feel pain. The reason me or someone else wants to feel pain is different, but a common reason is to feel good in the moment or just to feel something.

It's definitely weird to an outsider, but (using cutting as the sole example for this message) seeing one's blood and getting that temporary rush of euphoria provides relief to whatever is bothering someone. It's done for a reason.

The biggest problem for me is that I want people to know I'm "hurting", but I don't want people to know I'm hurting. I'm cut free for 5 years and still have scars on my arms and ankles I can't fully make go away (which a friend pointed at me for this January, thanks friend). I only stopped because they stopped bleeding out and I couldn't get the euphoria of seeing my own blood, and not because of some forced intervention or a change of mind. When people saw them when they were active, they reacted like I had hurt them instead of me hurting myself, and made me feel miserable about hurting myself, which, of course led me to hurting myself more.

It's hard being clean though, definitely have had urges to cut within the past 4 months. Currently trying to stay clean and avoid relapse because everyone around me thinks I'm doing okay again, plus summer coming up. I desperately want to get the relief back, but I will continue to fight to not fall back into it.

However, I'm inclined to say the obvious, self harm is not good at all. I wish it never had to be done and I will never encourage anyone to hurt themselves. But when I hear people doing it or did it, I completely understand. We're all hurting, and a lot of us just want to feel good again. It's best analyzed as a drug: It could kill when done too much or severely, you gotta hide the habit from everyone, and internally you know it's bad but you struggle to stop because it's a form of solace for the misery invading your mind.


Edit: My 69th post on SaSu is about self harm, nice.

 

[sserafim]

I don't understand why people do it. Personally, I've never done it because I see no point in it. Life itself is already enough of a self-harm for me. I guess everyone is different though

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't understand why people do it but, in the end, to each their own I guess. In my case, I want to be dead because I'm anti suffering for myself and I believe that I deserve peace. If I were to physically self harm, I'd be suffering even more which goes against why I crave death to begin with. I'm suffering more than enough already by just existing, I don't want to suffer more

 

[4am]

personally i enjoy sh-ing, but probably for different reasons than most ppl i've seen. it's not for any emotional reason, i just like seeing blood and scars that it leaves behind, i don't like pain but it's tolerable. i hate my body and i know i'll never be happy in it, but scars are just beautiful imo. personally i don't even consider sh as a harm, but rather i see it as any other body modification, maybe even as a form of art

 

[EternalShore]

I don't understand why people do it. Personally, I've never done it because I see no point in it. Life itself is already enough of a self-harm for me. I guess everyone is different though

yeah, life truly already sucks so much! :((( For some of us, there's no need to harm oneself more than they are already harmed by the daily stressors of life~ Plus, one shouldn't harm themselves considering that everyone is out for themselves and will certainly not come to their aid! >_<

From what I understand, most people self-harm because they either hate themselves and think they deserve it or because it's a coping mechanism to release all their mental pain as physical pain~

 

[trashprincess]

It's like drugs to me. It feels good, and I felt so much more alive when I self harmed... At first.

Then I got more and more desensitized to it, to the point where to get the rush I want, I'd need to cut myself bad enough to need stitches.

As someone who avoids inpatient like the plague, I'm not willing to risk imprisonment just for some knockoff-high.

Also the escalation makes it really hard to justify, when I'm actually trying to care about myself. For me, it just isn't a sustainable habit in any way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's not for me, especially as simply existing is harmful enough without creating more harm. Being conscious and aware, trapped in this hellish reality harms me and I don't wish to suffer in any way, to me existence itself is an unnecessary harm. Existence is harmful as there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented as long as they exist, to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking suffering much more and I see all suffering as undesirable.

 

[Meteora]

When my inner tension becomes so unbearable I cut myself because i can cry after. It s nothing I like to do though. I just don't have other ways to make me feel better.
I m negligent with taking care of the wounds, I sometimes get infections I guess and the tissue next to the cut gets very hard, warm and red and the wound discharges pus.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't understand why people do it. Personally, I've never done it because I see no point in it. Life itself is already enough of a self-harm for me. I guess everyone is different though

Self-harm can act as a way to translate emotional pain into physical pain. When you are physically hurt your body releases endorphins that help to cope with the pain and aid in stress release. Said endorphins are part of why people self-harm. Self-harm can act as a form of punishment for some which is another reason why some people engage in it. I think for most people who sh, it mainly comes down to self punishment and stress/emotional release.

 

[sserafim]

Self-harm can act as a way to translate emotional pain into physical pain. When you are physically hurt your body releases endorphins that help to cope with the pain and aid in stress release. Said endorphins are part of why people self-harm. Self-harm can act as a form of punishment for some which is another reason why some people engage in it. I think for most people who sh, it mainly comes down to self punishment and stress/emotional release.

Why do people want to punish themselves? That makes no sense to me

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Why do people want to punish themselves? That makes no sense to me

Out of self-hatred.

 

[Malaria]

How do I feel about self harm? Well...



Yeah, I often hate myself and feel like I deserve to be harmed.

 

[EmptyHeaded]

It's fun to me, in a way. Not something I think about a lot, I just do it or I don't. To me it's like making a coffee or something. Nothing you waste a lot of thoughts on. You just do it.

 

[Fulminare]

I don't see it in a bad light at all (I know, controversial opinion). It's your body, it's your right to do whatever to it. I myself do it from time to time just to have fun. Not sure if anyone can relate to that though. Guess I just really dig the thrill of it, plus the blood.

 

[sserafim]

Out of self-hatred.

Hmm, I don't understand, but I sympathize I guess.

 

[beelzebul]

i used to cut to take the mental pain away, and it worked temporarily. as i've gotten older, it no longer works like that, but i still have the urge to cut. the last time i cut, it was just to relieve pain, but it turned into a suicide attempt when i realized the pain wasn't going away like it used to. for me, at this point, it is like an addiction and no longer gives me any relief.

 

[Meteora]

Why do people want to punish themselves? That makes no sense to me

It is mostly connected or associated with a great inner tension. Cutting brings relief. The tension comes from cumulated unexpressed or unprocessed emotions.

 

[falling_snow]

i like the wounds. though it helps me relieve tension, i like taking care of the scars. putting bandages, disinfecting it, etc... also it manifests my mental pain into physical, which is more bearable and controllable.