I need something to distract me, please share your stories I'll respond to everyone 
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Lonelyhotcake
(I speak spanish).
- Mar 16, 2023
- 41
I hope this helps! 
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I didn't. In 2022 I wanted to die but then suddenly... things got better out of nowhere.
It was a weird year. Everything I ever wanted came true (for example... I've always wanted to have a family dinner in christmas... it happened that year, after waiting all my life).
I worked hard to change things (I had bad grades at college so I studied harder)... but what helped me with depression was realizing that my family gives a fuck about me.
They are controlling and manipulative because "they love me"? NOPE. They never cared when I said -I'm sad, I need help-.
So, I started learning how to take care of myself and things got better since then.
Everytime I think about killing myself I change it to: "We haven't live for ourselves yet".
I want all the things everybody (even depression) said to me that I CAN'T HAVE. I deserve to be happy too.
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I didn't. In 2022 I wanted to die but then suddenly... things got better out of nowhere.
It was a weird year. Everything I ever wanted came true (for example... I've always wanted to have a family dinner in christmas... it happened that year, after waiting all my life).
I worked hard to change things (I had bad grades at college so I studied harder)... but what helped me with depression was realizing that my family gives a fuck about me.
They are controlling and manipulative because "they love me"? NOPE. They never cared when I said -I'm sad, I need help-.
So, I started learning how to take care of myself and things got better since then.
Everytime I think about killing myself I change it to: "We haven't live for ourselves yet".
I want all the things everybody (even depression) said to me that I CAN'T HAVE. I deserve to be happy too.
i've been trying to balance my suicidal tendencies and my day-to-day conduct for a couple of weeks now. in doing so, i tried supplementing my own fears with theory; trying to fall back on analysis, if you will. there are periods when i truly do feel at peace, but others where i feel the weight of all that i've done wrong. i'm bound by my relations to other people, however, so i figured that i would recover for their sake. there are things that i still want to do, even if that means complete ego death. now i kind of waver between the two.
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