NSFW When I was 16 a group of boys at school filmed me doing a sex act and taunted me over it throughout the year.

[FireFox]

At 16 I was resitting my GCSE maths in Year 12 sixth form ( the equivalent of senior year in the USA) alongside a boring BTEC Business Studies and travel tourism course I was forced to do by the school and my resit group classmates were just a horrible group. One of my classmates was a boy who builled me since year 7 and the others boys went along with his behaviour. I am still traumatised by this event many years later.

In my business studies and travel and tourism classes there was white boy lets give him the pseudonym Jack and I liked him. He was the class clown who made everyone laugh with his behaviour. One day at school I was all alone in the sixth form using the computers to complete some work after school. It was November and outside it was dark. Jack and his friends let's call them Friend A and B came into the room.

When I was working Jack grabbed my hand and tried to put my hand down his trousers. His friends were laughing and teasing. I managed to pull it away. His friends and himself began to be nice to me .Eventually we got talking and I ended up leaving the school with Jack and his friends. I wanted to impress Jack so I ended up agreeing to perform oral sex on him. It was very dark outside, there was no one outside and went behind a church building and I tried to perform oral sex on him. This was my first time performing oral sex and I struggled to suck his penis because I didn't like the taste of it in my mouth and ended up feeling sick. I spat on floor and had a bitter taste in my mouth.

The next day at school Jack smiled at me. Jack and I agreed to do it again after school and we agreed a time. Jack's friends also knew about it.

I ended up hanging out with Jack's friends because my main group of friends at school who were a group of white girls regularly excluded me from the friendship group and let a new girl who was also white drive me out of the group while they did nothing. In sixth form friendships change. When the second I agreed to do it with Jack this time his friends filmed it.

The second time I struggled to again to continuously suck his penis. Every time I ended up trying I ended up feeling sick and spitting. Friend A filmed it. When I was with Jack and his friends alone at school his friends taunted me over it continuously. Jack always stood there and said nothing. He never told his friends to stop. I admit I got paranoid at school because his friend had it on tape and I didn't know what to do or who saw the tape. I was scared to tell the school because school policy is the parents get called to the school in this circumstances and I was scared to tell my family because they are those judgemental religious families.

One day in business class one of a different boy brought up I had oral sex with Jack and i was so scared already the boy knew i done it. I was so mad at Jack and comforted him over it in class. I whispered to him. Jack got so mad at me. Jack told me to never talk to him again. Jack was angry at me because now an outside party knows. This boy also hangs out with Jack and associates with Friend A and B. Someone told this boy but I didn't who.

Jack friends blamed me for everything and saying how I blew it with Jack. Jack even looked me with disgust at school, ignored me when I said sorry and Jack even was racially abusive towards me at school. Friend A even said he uploaded on a porn site I didn't know whether he was joking or not.
I got so paranoid over the regular taunting I ended up admitting on more than 1 occasion what I did with Jack. I didn't know what to do. I tried ignoring, laughing it off with the friends whenever they asked me what Jack's dick tasted like but the friends continued to taunt me while Jack said nothing.

Jack's racist behaviour towards me was the most shocking. He made racist comments about my African heritage. He said outloud in school how I "travel miles to get my water" and that I am "not English" and I shouldn't being using British slang words. Another time I came to class soaked and I heard Jack say "free shower" when I walked in the room.

It got worse at school when I moved on from Jack. The boy I feel in love with was in Year 13, final year of sixth form.. We were getting on so well. I liked him because I thought he was different from the other boys. He evenutally began to avoid to me at school and didn't want to seen with me. This boy humiliated me at school with the assistance of Jacks friends.

Friend A came too me and said " do you know why the boys are all avoiding you it's because of what you did with x"
It ended well for me I ended up passing my exams and going to university to study law.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

Wow. I'm so glad it ended well for you. You had to deal with a horrible group of people.

 

[resteasy3232]

if you are still worried about that video being out, id recommend using https://takeitdown.ncmec.org, they help with stuff like this and leaked videos, im not sure if it got leaked. but if you are worried about it id use them.

im sorry you had to go through this, the world is an evil place and you should have never been treated like that

 

[FireFox]

Wow. I'm so glad it ended well for you. You had to deal with a horrible group of people.

@Overwhelmed52 Jack still managed to get girls and have a social life at school but boys didn't want to go near me. He NEVER ever told his arsehole friends to stop and worst of all him being racist towards me just confused me even more throughout the wrong he kept acting like the victim and refused to take any responsibility. His friends blamed me for everything for not keeping my mouth shut but they were the ones who drove me to pure paranoia and insanity over the taunting to the point i believed everyone at school was talking about me behind my back

He wanted me to perform a sex act on him in the first place and proceeds to be racist towards me at school when it became knowledge what he did.

It is a miracle I didn't kill myself at 16. I was shocked at how strong I was even though I was at my most fragile with no where to go for help.

Now in adulthood I say to older people " We all do stupid things when we are young but some of us are just lucky to survive it all, to grow from our mistakes and to tell our story."

I hated my teenage years and school because of the people in the school. My own friendship group of girls didn't even care about me and excluded me at times from the group. Being the only black friend in the group i found it lonely at times.

if you are still worried about that video being out, id recommend using https://takeitdown.ncmec.org, they help with stuff like this and leaked videos, im not sure if it got leaked. but if you are worried about it id use them.

im sorry you had to go through this, the world is an evil place and you should have never been treated like that

@resteasy3232 I am so happy how I am now unrecognisable as an adult which is why I dont worry about the video anymore.

As a teenager I was unattractive due to problems I had with my skin which led to me getting special creams and treatments in adulthood. In adulthood I am way more prettier.

Secondary school was the worst and I was so glad when school ended on the last day because I don't have a lot of good memories of school due to school bullying and my friends regularly excluding me from in secondary school.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

@Overwhelmed52 Jack still managed to get girls and have a social life at school but boys didn't want to go near me. He NEVER ever told his arsehole friends to stop and worst of all him being racist towards me just confused me even more throughout the wrong he kept acting like the victim and refused to take any responsibility. His friends blamed me for everything for not keeping my mouth shut but they were the ones who drove me to pure paranoia and insanity over the taunting to the point i believed everyone at school was talking about me behind my back

He wanted me to perform a sex act on him in the first place and proceeds to be racist towards me at school when it became knowledge what he did.

It is a miracle I didn't kill myself at 16. I was shocked at how strong I was even though I was at my most fragile with no where to go for help.

Now in adulthood I say to older people " We all do stupid things when we are young but some of us are just lucky to survive it all, to grow from our mistakes and to tell our story."

I hated my teenage years and school because of the people in the school. My own friendship group of girls didn't even care about me and excluded me at times from the group. Being the only black friend in the group i found it lonely at times.

@resteasy3232 I am so happy how I am now unrecognisable as an adult which is why I dont worry about the video anymore.

As a teenager I was unattractive due to problems I had with my skin which led to me getting special creams and treatments in adulthood. In adulthood I am way more prettier.

Secondary school was the worst and I was so glad when school ended on the last day because I don't have a lot of good memories of school due to school bullying and my friends regularly excluding me from in secondary school.

I'm glad you got out of there, although I wouldn't say you made any mistakes. You were just surrounded by bad people.

 

[FireFox]

I'm glad you got out of there, although I wouldn't say you made any mistakes. You were just surrounded by bad people.

@Overwhelmed52 At the time I really genuinely believed i did something wrong. I blamed myself so much for failing to deny what happened when one of Jack's other friend brought up what happened between me and Jack

The Paranoia made me crack. The filming and constant taunts made me so paranoid and on edge at school I ended up revealing everything.

Jack and his friends making me feel guilty made it even worse. The friends even said Jack is straving himself and going on hungar strike because of me . Jack decided to skip school one day and his friends said how he was straving himself because of me. He came back the next day no problems whatsoever. I hated myself and blamed myself.

At school I was regularly subject to cruel tricks and humiliation. The next guy I met after Jack also cruelly humiliated me too.

This next guy began to distance himself from me at school when people began to gossip about us hanging out during break times. The arsehole lied about being gay so I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore. He got his friends in the school and others in the school to help him lie. Everyone in school knew it was a lie and was laughing at me for believing in it. Meanwhile weekends were spent seeing girls. Jack's friends also assisted in his lying too.

It is miracle I didn't kill myself over this. If I was more mentally weaker I would have ended up a teenage suicide statistic.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

@Overwhelmed52 At the time I really genuinely believed i did something wrong. I blamed myself so much for failing to deny what happened when one of Jack's other friend brought up what happened between me and Jack

The Paranoia made me crack. The filming and constant taunts made me so paranoid and on edge at school I ended up revealing everything.

Jack and his friends making me feel guilty made it even worse. The friends even said Jack is straving himself and going on hungar strike because of me . Jack decided to skip school one day and his friends said how he was straving himself because of me. He came back the next day no problems whatsoever. I hated myself and blamed myself.

At school I was regularly subject to cruel tricks and humiliation. The next guy I met after Jack also cruelly humiliated me too.

This next guy began to distance himself from me at school when people began to gossip about us hanging out during break times. The arsehole lied about being gay so I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore. He got his friends in the school and others in the school to help him lie. Everyone in school knew it was a lie and was laughing at me for believing in it. Meanwhile weekends were spent seeing girls. Jack's friends also assisted in his lying too.

It is miracle I didn't kill myself over this. If I was more mentally weaker I would have ended up a teenage suicide statistic.

You shouldn't blame yourself or feel bad for trusting and wanting to help the people around you. Those are good qualities to have. It's also good that you're sharing your story. Lots of people have been through something similar and this can help them know they can make it out.

 

[FireFox]

You shouldn't blame yourself or feel bad for trusting and wanting to help the people around you. Those are good qualities to have. It's also good that you're sharing your story. Lots of people have been through something similar and this can help them know they can make it out.

@Overwhelmed52 Growing in a strict religious household as a teenager I was always scared of getting into trouble because when my mum was annoyed at me as a teen she always took it too far in her comments expressing disapproval of my behaviour. I got tired of being yelled at so resorted to lying and dealing with my own problems myself. In my families culture ( African culture) strict parenting is admired but there are disadvantages of having strict parents.

I found myself in messed up or just stupid situations when I was younger because I was too scared to call for help from adults. In my 20s when I have problems the same family don't understand why I don't ask them for help if I am in problems. When I got involved with a messed up situation involving a 55 year old man last year my grandmother said why didn't you come to us for help ?

I said " This family would have judged me and given me a hard time over it." When I said this family have history too much of judging people in messed up situations and giving me a hard time generally whenever I messed up it made me scared to ask for help. My grandmother acted in denial.

My family cant see how their strict upbringing is the reason why I am scared to ask them for help on anything.

This is why parents need to be careful when shouting at their children.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

@Overwhelmed52 Growing in a strict religious household as a teenager I was always scared of getting into trouble because when my mum was annoyed at me as a teen she always took it too far in her comments expressing disapproval of my behaviour. I got tired of being yelled at so resorted to lying and dealing with my own problems myself. In my families culture ( African culture) strict parenting is admired but there are disadvantages of having strict parents.

I found myself in messed up or just stupid situations when I was younger because I was too scared to call for help from adults. In my 20s when I have problems the same family don't understand why I don't ask them for help if I am in problems. When I got involved with a messed up situation involving a 55 year old man last year my grandmother said why didn't you come to us for help ?

I said " This family would have judged me and given me a hard time over it." When I said this family have history too much of judging people in messed up situations and giving me a hard time generally whenever I messed up it made me scared to ask for help. My grandmother acted in denial.

My family cant see how their strict upbringing is the reason why I am scared to ask them for help on anything.

This is why parents need to be careful when shouting at their children.

I one hundred percent agree that parents who yell at their kids make it harder for them to ask for help. It also affects their confidence and trust in themselves (how are you supposed to trust your own judgement when you're always told that you're wrong?). It's good that you can see how wrong it was. A lot of people don't and that's how the patterns keep repeating.

 

[FireFox]

I one hundred percent agree that parents who yell at their kids make it harder for them to ask for help. It also affects their confidence and trust in themselves (how are you supposed to trust your own judgement when you're always told that you're wrong?). It's good that you can see how wrong it was. A lot of people don't and that's how the patterns keep repeating.

@Overwhelmed52 I hate it when older people tell us school is the best time of a young person because adulthood and the world of work is hard and difficult. Not everyone had amazing friends to hang with in school or classmates who left them alone.

Not having close friends at school I found it difficult to enjoy school trips and school generally.

In secondary school my main friendship group consisted of white blonde haired girls whose parents were from Ireland, a red haired girl too( Irish) and a LGBT polish boy. I was the only black friend in the group l.

The LGBT polish boy didn't fit in the school he liked to draw, had no male friends and hanged out with the girls at school. He was not always nice towards me and girls pretty much sided with him in his arsehole behaviour.

One time in a school trip to DisneyLand Paris the LGBT Polish boy and I went in pairs to go on rides together. After a ride we been on we came across a small empty gift shop and I told the boy I wanted to buy 1 gift for my sister but the boy instead of waiting just walked away. I got lost in DisneyLand Paris it was so scary because it is an enormous themepark. I was 15 at the time

At school the rules were we had to stick together in pairs in the Paris trip.
The boy got told off by teachers for breaking rules. The boy lies to the girls in the group and told them I wondered off. The white girls believed him over me. This boy even laughed at me at school when I came with my natural afro hairstyled. I saw him during school assembly laughing and pointing with another white girl friend over my hair.
.
The same friends excluded me from stuff too.

Because of what I went through with my friends at school it made me seek out friendships groups and bonds with women in my own racial group when I reached adulthood.

I admit I don't feel comfortable in groups where 1 racial group dominates and I prefer being groups where there is a mixture of ethnicities.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

@Overwhelmed52 I hate it when older people tell us school is the best time of a young person because adulthood and the world of work is hard and difficult. Not everyone had amazing friends to hang with in school or classmates who left them alone.

Not having close friends at school I found it difficult to enjoy school trips and school generally.

In secondary school my main friendship group consisted of white blonde haired girls whose parents were from Ireland, a red haired girl too( Irish) and a LGBT polish boy. I was the only black friend in the group l.

The LGBT polish boy didn't fit in the school he liked to draw, had no male friends and hanged out with the girls at school. He was not always nice towards me and girls pretty much sided with him in his arsehole behaviour.

One time in a school trip to DisneyLand Paris the LGBT Polish boy and I went in pairs to go on rides together. After a ride we been on we came across a small empty gift shop and I told the boy I wanted to buy 1 gift for my sister but the boy instead of waiting just walked away. I got lost in DisneyLand Paris it was so scary because it is an enormous themepark. I was 15 at the time

At school the rules were we had to stick together in pairs in the Paris trip.
The boy got told off by teachers for breaking rules. The boy lies to the girls in the group and told them I wondered off. The white girls believed him over me. This boy even laughed at me at school when I came with my natural afro hairstyled. I saw him during school assembly laughing and pointing with another white girl friend over my hair.
.
The same friends excluded me from stuff too.

Because of what I went through with my friends at school it made me seek out friendships groups and bonds with women in my own racial group when I reached adulthood.

I admit I don't feel comfortable in groups where 1 racial group dominates and I prefer being groups where there is a mixture of ethnicities.

School is awful for a lot of people. I kind of numbed myself to it, which really didn't help me in the long run. The memories from that time stay with you for a long time. What's funny, though, is that people who were bullies will barely remember it or not even realize that they were being mean.

 

[Death is my goal]

they're such an awful and disgusting people, glad you're away from them now.

but to be completely fair, a large portion is your fault, him making you touch his pants without consent is so fking weird, with his group laughing too. and after a small nice talk that made you suck his dick?? with all of his group watching? that's wild. i can't believe you did that

 

[HighFlight]

but to be completely fair, a large portion is your fault

I must wholeheartedly disagree. At that age, the need to be included in a group, to make connections, is so strong that people do things that in hind-sight may seem like bad idea. That's not their fault, that's human nature. The courage OP showed in being able to compete school and go on to law school should be commended and celebrated.

@FireFox, as a person who was bullied and tormented throughout high school, I feel you pain and hope that as the years have passed, you've been able to move on. Please know that you are not to blame for the bulling that resulted from that moment in time. I wish you al the best.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

At 16 I was resitting my GCSE maths in Year 12 sixth form ( the equivalent of senior year in the USA) alongside a boring BTEC Business Studies and travel tourism course I was forced to do by the school and my resit group classmates were just a horrible group. One of my classmates was a boy who builled me since year 7 and the others boys went along with his behaviour. I am still traumatised by this event many years later.

In my business studies and travel and tourism classes there was white boy lets give him the pseudonym Jack and I liked him. He was the class clown who made everyone laugh with his behaviour. One day at school I was all alone in the sixth form using the computers to complete some work after school. It was November and outside it was dark. Jack and his friends let's call them Friend A and B came into the room.

When I was working Jack grabbed my hand and tried to put my hand down his trousers. His friends were laughing and teasing. I managed to pull it away. His friends and himself began to be nice to me .Eventually we got talking and I ended up leaving the school with Jack and his friends. I wanted to impress Jack so I ended up agreeing to perform oral sex on him. It was very dark outside, there was no one outside and went behind a church building and I tried to perform oral sex on him. This was my first time performing oral sex and I struggled to suck his penis because I didn't like the taste of it in my mouth and ended up feeling sick. I spat on floor and had a bitter taste in my mouth.

The next day at school Jack smiled at me. Jack and I agreed to do it again after school and we agreed a time. Jack's friends also knew about it.

I ended up hanging out with Jack's friends because my main group of friends at school who were a group of white girls regularly excluded me from the friendship group and let a new girl who was also white drive me out of the group while they did nothing. In sixth form friendships change. When the second I agreed to do it with Jack this time his friends filmed it.

The second time I struggled to again to continuously suck his penis. Every time I ended up trying I ended up feeling sick and spitting. Friend A filmed it. When I was with Jack and his friends alone at school his friends taunted me over it continuously. Jack always stood there and said nothing. He never told his friends to stop. I admit I got paranoid at school because his friend had it on tape and I didn't know what to do or who saw the tape. I was scared to tell the school because school policy is the parents get called to the school in this circumstances and I was scared to tell my family because they are those judgemental religious families.

One day in business class one of a different boy brought up I had oral sex with Jack and i was so scared already the boy knew i done it. I was so mad at Jack and comforted him over it in class. I whispered to him. Jack got so mad at me. Jack told me to never talk to him again. Jack was angry at me because now an outside party knows. This boy also hangs out with Jack and associates with Friend A and B. Someone told this boy but I didn't who.

Jack friends blamed me for everything and saying how I blew it with Jack. Jack even looked me with disgust at school, ignored me when I said sorry and Jack even was racially abusive towards me at school. Friend A even said he uploaded on a porn site I didn't know whether he was joking or not.
I got so paranoid over the regular taunting I ended up admitting on more than 1 occasion what I did with Jack. I didn't know what to do. I tried ignoring, laughing it off with the friends whenever they asked me what Jack's dick tasted like but the friends continued to taunt me while Jack said nothing.

Jack's racist behaviour towards me was the most shocking. He made racist comments about my African heritage. He said outloud in school how I "travel miles to get my water" and that I am "not English" and I shouldn't being using British slang words. Another time I came to class soaked and I heard Jack say "free shower" when I walked in the room.

It got worse at school when I moved on from Jack. The boy I feel in love with was in Year 13, final year of sixth form.. We were getting on so well. I liked him because I thought he was different from the other boys. He evenutally began to avoid to me at school and didn't want to seen with me. This boy humiliated me at school with the assistance of Jacks friends.

Friend A came too me and said " do you know why the boys are all avoiding you it's because of what you did with x"
It ended well for me I ended up passing my exams and going to university to study law.

People can be such monsters. They really can. Especially in schools/colleges and work places where the nastinesses seems to best flourish.

 

[Death is my goal]

I must wholeheartedly disagree. At that age, the need to be included in a group, to make connections, is so strong that people do things that in hind-sight may seem like bad idea. That's not their fault, that's human nature. The courage OP showed in being able to compete school and go on to law school should be commended and celebrated.

in normal circumstances i completely agree, but sucking someone's dick and while people watching is such an extreme thing that personally i can't excuse.
also it's not wrong to point out OP's mistake

 

[HighFlight]

in normal circumstances i completely agree, but sucking someone's dick and while people watching is such an extreme thing that personally i can't excuse.
also it's not wrong to point out OP's mistake

It's nice to be able to decide right and wrong, and judge people based on short, anonymous online conversation. It's not your position to accept or excuse it - they we're simply telling us about a traumatic experience they had as a child. I'm also quite sure that OP knows about any mistakes they've made. As a result, we don't need to blame the victim.

P.S. - We're not hijacking their thread over this. Within this thread, if you don't have anything supportive say, please refrain from replying. You're welcome to dm me if you want to continue this discussion.

 

[Dot]

in normal circumstances i completely agree, but sucking someone's dick and while people watching is such an extreme thing that personally i can't excuse.
also it's not wrong to point out OP's mistake

As sme1 wh/ ws forcd t/ crry out a sx act on sme1 els as a minr ths = deprssng 2 read

Coercn & socl pressres xist & OP ws a 16 y/o wh/ ws v obvsly takn advantge of

= ok 2 acknwldge tht thr wll b a levl of accountblty fr thr own actns bt out-rght blamng thm whn thy wre obvsly in a vulnrble positn & v lkely makng choics basd on inscurity & immturty whch thy l8tr regrt as wll as ppl takng advntge of thm = nt goin2 b helpfl

Slf also dd sme thngs tht ws nt proud of whn ws 17 bcse slf ws brokn-heartd & despr8 2 try 2 gt sme1 bck wh/ slf ws in lve wth & thy knw tht -- slf mde thse decsns whch slf tke accounblty 4 bt slf ws also takn advtnge of & if sme1 attmptd 2 blme slf whle slf ws tryn2 opn up & deal wth tht shame & angr thn slf wld tll thse ppl t/ fck off honstly

Slf-hrm & slf sabtge cme in mny forms or smetmes ppl jst nd sme grce whn thy r strgglng wth sme bd decsns

 

[FireFox]

I must wholeheartedly disagree. At that age, the need to be included in a group, to make connections, is so strong that people do things that in hind-sight may seem like bad idea. That's not their fault, that's human nature. The courage OP showed in being able to compete school and go on to law school should be commended and celebrated.

@FireFox, as a person who was bullied and tormented throughout high school, I feel you pain and hope that as the years have passed, you've been able to move on. Please know that you are not to blame for the bulling that resulted from that moment in time. I wish you al the best.

@HighFlight The whole thing made me realise at a young age is sexual freedom is only for men and legal age teenage boys to explore.

Mordern and liberal feminists tell us women and legal age teenage girls should be free to explore their sexuality and encourage this behaviour but the truth is no many how generations pass sexual freedom is only for men and legal age teenage boys. Men and women will never be equal in terms of sexual freedom.

Jack ( pseudonym) still went to parties and managed to get girls while the boys at school did not want me because of what i did. I am a social pariah

All those things we are told about sexual empowerment by feminists it's all an enormous lie. Men and boys to some degree are very conservative about a woman's sexual history.

When I saw the whole Lily phillips thing I just remembered how a woman is forever marked by her sexual history while a man can sleep with many women and be free to explore without being socially marked for it.

People can be such monsters. They really can. Especially in schools/colleges and work places where the nastinesses seems to best flourish.

@darkenmydoorstep When I saw the whole Lily phillips thing blowing up on socal media this week I just remembered how a woman is forever marked by her sexual history while a man can sleep with many women and be free to explore without being socially marked for it.

The boy he still managed to get girls while the boys at school didn't want to go near me and be associated with me.

Jack's friend who filmed the act he pulled me aside and said " do you know why the boys are all avoiding you it's because of what you did with x"

That's when I learnt why no one wanted to know the real me at school and I never got experience those normal milestones of teenage love other girls for to have.

I was a miserable as a teenager because of the school I attended and the friends I had at school.

I was so happy when I started my undergraduate law degree because it was wonderful having a fresh start from all the horrible stuff I went through in secondary school.

Nobody at university knew who I was and I was free to be myself. University yes is stressful but the thousands times better than school because people don't care as much about popularity and socal status due to everyone doing their own thing.

 

[FireFox]

Why are you on this site then? Are you a pro-lifer? Is this a "I overcame trauma so you should be able to do it too" post?

I am not trying to be insensitive and if you are suicidal, Im sorry.


Are you still sad or upset or did everything go well? The end of your post left me confused. Was this life ruining or not? Or are you depressed now and think it's connected to this? Are you trying to be inspiring? I don't understand.

I am sorry but pro-lifers and just-take-big-pharma-drugs types have me on edge.

If this is still bothering you now, take a polygraph about the shoving your hand in his pants, the unwanted filming, the racism and contact the rape abuse and incest network for emotional support then put him on blast on social media and include the polygraph results

if this is not bothering you, why are you here? it probably does bother you and my reading comprehension sucks, but like "my trauma got better so you shouldnt die posts" really piss me off, as though everyone's situations are equivalent

@needthebus NO I am not a pro lifer. I am just sharing my story because many years my experience effects me in so many ways and I just needed a space to open up.

There is no need to be such an arsehole. If you don't like my post then don't read it. If anyone should be questioning my presence here it should be the moderators and not you

As sme1 wh/ ws forcd t/ crry out a sx act on sme1 els as a minr ths = deprssng 2 read

Coercn & socl pressres xist & OP ws a 16 y/o wh/ ws v obvsly takn advantge of

= ok 2 acknwldge tht thr wll b a levl of accountblty fr thr own actns bt out-rght blamng thm whn thy wre obvsly in a vulnrble positn & v lkely makng choics basd on inscurity & immturty whch thy l8tr regrt as wll as ppl takng advntge of thm = nt goin2 b helpfl

Slf also dd sme thngs tht ws nt proud of whn ws 17 bcse slf ws brokn-heartd & despr8 2 try 2 gt sme1 bck wh/ slf ws in lve wth & thy knw tht -- slf mde thse decsns whch slf tke accounblty 4 bt slf ws also takn advtnge of & if sme1 attmptd 2 blme slf whle slf ws tryn2 opn up & deal wth tht shame & angr thn slf wld tll thse ppl t/ fck off honstly

Slf-hrm & slf sabtge cme in mny forms or smetmes ppl jst nd sme grce whn thy r strgglng wth sme bd decsns

@Dot Exactly as teenagers we have all done stupid things because we wanted other people's approval and didn't have the courage to say no and stand up for ourselves.

You deserved so much better.

 

[needthebus]

@needthebus NO I am not a pro lifer. I am just sharing my story because many years my experience effects me in so many ways and I just needed a space to open up.

There is no need to be such an arsehole. If you don't like my post then don't read it. If anyone should be questioning my presence here it should be the moderators and not you

@Dot Exactly as teenagers we have all done stupid things because we wanted other people's approval and didn't have the courage to say no and stand up for ourselves.

You deserved so much better.

youre right, im sorry. i tried to delete the post. everything i say and do lately is wrong

im trying to give up coffee and so depressed i can barely think and my reading comprehension actually sucks right now, i misread multiple things that made sense after

if someone can let firefox know im sorry would be great, i am probably blocked and she may not know i apologize, i actually read this wrong bc having some.cognitive issues due to depression

 

[Queen B]

I'm glad everything ended good for you. I know how it feels to be one of the few black students at school. I remember that one day, a group of 7-10 kids gathered to beat me up after school just because they wanted, and for months, I wanted to off myself in front of them and mess up their lives forever. But I never had the courage.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

in normal circumstances i completely agree, but sucking someone's dick and while people watching is such an extreme thing that personally i can't excuse.
also it's not wrong to point out OP's mistake

Dude, they were 16. You can't expect a 16-year-old to have the same level of hindsight as an adult. They are more likely to make impulsive decisions, especially under peer influence, compared to an adult.

 

[Ozzyno]

In my opinion is kind of wrong to say that women are not sexually free because they can't have sex with a million men without being judged but the opposite is not a problem. Women are generally attracted more to men that had a lot of partners and men cannot control this decision you make. Men are not attracted to women that had too many partners because you can deny it as much as you want but for a woman to find sex is as easy as drink a glass of water. I'm not talking about good partners or a relationship. But of course it's not a virtue for a woman to go around and let any men get inside her pants. For a man to find a sexual partner is no joke, unless you are on the top 5% (rich and beautiful).

I agree with the other argument, I don't judge what you did at the age of 16. You were mentally weak and it was not your fault. The important thing is to not lie to yourself and not observe that it was indeed a mistake, but you don't have to blame yourself.

 

[needthebus]

@needthebus NO I am not a pro lifer. I am just sharing my story because many years my experience effects me in so many ways and I just needed a space to open up.

There is no need to be such an arsehole. If you don't like my post then don't read it. If anyone should be questioning my presence here it should be the moderators and not you

@Dot Exactly as teenagers we have all done stupid things because we wanted other people's approval and didn't have the courage to say no and stand up for ourselves.

You deserved so much better.

sorry again @FireFox. that was the dumvest thing ive ever written on here, i had just woken up, you seem like a cool person and hours later i still feel bad

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I know this really doesn't mean much, but I am genuinely sorry that such a thing happened to you. I can't even imagine what it must have been like. It's horrible. You didn't deserve that.

 

[FireFox]

I'm glad everything ended good for you. I know how it feels to be one of the few black students at school. I remember that one day, a group of 7-10 kids gathered to beat me up after school just because they wanted, and for months, I wanted to off myself in front of them and mess up their lives forever. But I never had the courage.

@Queen B I went to a diverse secondary school and one thing I learnt despite the existence of different cultures I noticed people bonded more with their own ethnic group. School was lonely because I didn't have an ethnic group of my own to bond with the way other people had at school.

In the USA black people identify as African American and come together collectively under that identity but in the UK it's not like that. Black people are divided into different ethnic groups because after the second world war many black people came from different African countries and the Caribbean islands.

My city has a large community of Nigerians, Ghanaians, Caribbeans and these groups stick together. My parents are not from those countries I never had a distinct African community to share my culture with or bond with.

At school people who had parents from Nigeria or Ghana or the Caribbean they bonded over their parents culture and aspects of their upbringing in those cultures. The kids with Irish parents which my school had loads of bonded with each other especially over plans for St Patrick's Day as my city has big events for St Patrick's. The kids with parents from Poland stuck together too.

The black boys with Nigerian parents in my classes at school laughed with the white racist bully who made racist comments about me and my hertigage. Only 1 black boy defended me and he was not even in my class.

My white Irish friends at times excluded me from the group and made me feel left out.

This is why I don't feel comfortable in groups where 1 ethnic group dominates and if I am in such a group I tend to be the one dominating the conversation and steering the conversation.

Never again do I want to be excluded and ignored again. 2 weeks ago at university I was in a group with these Chinese men in my tax law class and I 100% dominated the conversation and got to push through my ideas.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

At school people who had parents from Nigeria or Ghana or the Caribbean they bonded over their parents culture and aspects of their upbringing in those cultures. The kids with Irish parents which my school had loads of bonded with each other especially over plans for St Patrick's Day as my city has big events for St Patrick's. The kids with parents from Poland stuck together too.

I find this interesting. It reminds me of when my middle-school music teacher talked about going to the US for college with his black Jamaican friend. He said they were surprised to find everyone only sitting with those who were of the same race as them since they weren't used to seeing that back in our region of Canada. Even when I was younger, most kids just hung out and chatted with whoever. Most of my friends growing up were from a variety of different cultural backgrounds. This isn't to say that there isn't any division per se, but rather that, at least from my experience, it was never that strong.

 

[FireFox]

@Queen B One of the main disadvantages of being the only black friend in the group is experiencing social exclusion from my white irish friends.

1) My friends at school had Facebook and Iphones while I didn't. They would talk about stuff on Facebook and whenever I asked for an explanation of what they were discussing on Facebook they wouldn't tell me.

2) One Time on a school trip one of the friends in the group was a wheelchair user and she couldn't sit upstairs in the restaurant the teachers had booked for lunch. She had to sit downstairs.

The school allowed for her to sit downstairs with a teacher and her friends. When I went downstairs to sit with the girl one of the girls in the group said "it's fine" and told me to sit up stairs. She walked away.

Downstairs was the disabled girl and the other 4 white girls in the group. I was made to sit upstairs with other people on the school who weren't even my friends.

The white same girl who told me to sit upstairs when I was in sixth form who allowed another white girl in the group to push me out.

3) The white LGBT Polish boy they allowed him to be an arsehole towards me.

Being the only black friend in the group you can experience your own friends excluding you and making you feel like an outsider.

I find this interesting. It reminds me of when my middle-school music teacher talked about going to the US for college with his black Jamaican friend. He said they were surprised to find everyone only sitting with those who were of the same race as them since they weren't used to seeing that back in our region of Canada. Even when I was younger, most kids just hung out and chatted with whoever. Most of my friends growing up were from a variety of different cultural backgrounds. This isn't to say that there isn't any division per se, but rather that, at least from my experience, it was never that strong.

@EvisceratedJester The reason why multiculturalism gets criticised in the UK is because of issues of lack of integration between ethnic groups and this does at times cause social division within communities.

Here is a rescent example. In the UK Indians ( NOT ALL) are known to be racist towards black people and seeing themselves as superior to black people. Black people have shared of their experiences of Indians being racist to them.

Rescently in the UK we had a big media case which had sparked this debate again. A 18 year old black British boy called Marcus fakana was visting Dubai with his family. In the hotel he was staying at he met a British Indian girl who was 17 at the time. Marcus and the girl were sneaking off and having sexual relationships. The girl told Marcus her parents are strict which is why they were sneaking off.

Tne pair planned to continue their relationship when they return to London.

The mother of the girl didn't like the boy when she found out the relationship and waited until they arrived safely in the UK to phone the dubai police to report the boy. The boy was still in Dubai on holiday with his family and the police arrested him in hotel room

This month he got sentenced and luckily got 1 year in jail for having pre martial sex in dubai. The boy was facing a 20 year jail sentence.

The case sparked mass outrage in the UK because the fact the mother waited until they got to Britain to report him just shows she did it out of pure spite. If she reported him in Dubai daughter would have been arrested too. On socal media the British public showed pictures of the girl and the mothers identites.

2) Black Africans and Caribbeans in the UK at times are very predjuded towards each other. For example Black Africans ( NOT ALL) believe Caribbeans are lazy while Caribbeans believe black Africans are snobby.

The list goes on