N is not risky.
Here are it's RPA scores for various things, compared to DDMP:
Relialibity: 10, DDMP: 10 (/10, higher is better)
Peacefulness: 10, DDMP 9 (/10, higher is better)
Preparation needed: 5, DDMP: 4 (/5, higher is better)
Undetectability in autopsy: 4, DDMP: 4 (/5, higher is better)
Safety for those around you: 5, DDMP: 5 (/5, higher is better)
Speed: 4, DDMP: 3 (/5, higher is better)
If you still believe so, you need to get them from darknet markets. I refer you to page 242 of the PPeH.