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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,789
I have met this woman in my self-help group. We don't know each other well. But we both seem to be interested in each other. I can't stop myself to overthink it with her. I imagine our future, potential issues that could emerge, how I will ruin it with overthinking and how devastated I will be about that, and how a potential partnership could break into pieces. We barely know each other. And I am overthinking it in an insane way. I think I won't be able to cope with the pain if I ruin it. I simply son't have it in me anymore. I am close to an edge in this instance.

Any strategies?
 
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untothedepths

untothedepths

death wont return my calls
Mar 20, 2023
642
If you really want to take a chance, I say go for it.

However, if you really want to take absolute caution and not go through with it, you should probably think of all the ways this could go bad. First off, you are right, you don't know them. Being in a shitty relationship IMO is worse than being at least able to have a roof over your head and single.

I'd also probably guess since you are both in a self-help group I would be wary about dating/going out. Not that you guys are broken or terrible people, but more like you guys are in the process of healing, and getting together can put a wrench in that. If you are looking to recover or feel better about things ect. I wouldn't risk it. I'd wait it out first, cause a lot of things can go ugly to make you not continue going to the group.

But everything in life is risk vs reward. Take that as you will.
 
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DarkRange55

DarkRange55

I am Skynet
Oct 15, 2023
1,895
For overthinking: keeping yourself busy with other things. Its hard think about the other things when you get sucked into a video game like Fallout 4 for example. Focus on your hobbies and health and stuff.

Meditation can have its benefits for quieting your mind.

Recognize and identify these intrusive thoughts before the cycle begins.

Yesterday already happened and tomorrow isn't here yet. Focus on the present moment. When you're at work, be at work. When you're at home, be at home.

Worrying about something is contemplating an issue without thinking of a solution. So why waste two seconds of your life worrying about something you can't fix?

"Change only takes place through action… Frankly speaking, not through prayer or meditation, but through action."
- Dalai Lama

Fear is: False Expectations Appearing Real
My favorite quote is, "just fucking do it"
Don't get paralyzed by "paralysis by analysis"

"Sometimes fear can be a good thing - keeps you from taking unnecessary chances. Courage doesn't mean that you don't have fear. It means that you've learned to overcome it."
- Lieutenant Tom Paris (Star Trek Voyager)

Don't listen to the whisper, thats the whisper of 10,000 generations of human tribalism. When we lived in a community of 100-150 people, it was bad to do different or embarrassing, but today that strategy is antiquated.

Fear is just chemicals in your brain. It's an animal instinct. Ignore it and you will find strength.

 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,022
Living in the moment/present. Carpe diem
 
DarkRange55

DarkRange55

I am Skynet
Oct 15, 2023
1,895
If you really want to take a chance, I say go for it.

However, if you really want to take absolute caution and not go through with it, you should probably think of all the ways this could go bad. First off, you are right, you don't know them. Being in a shitty relationship IMO is worse than being at least able to have a roof over your head and single.

I'd also probably guess since you are both in a self-help group I would be wary about dating/going out. Not that you guys are broken or terrible people, but more like you guys are in the process of healing, and getting together can put a wrench in that. If you are looking to recover or feel better about things ect. I wouldn't risk it. I'd wait it out first, cause a lot of things can go ugly to make you not continue going to the group.

But everything in life is risk vs reward. Take that as you will.
This ☝️
Living in the moment/present. Carpe diem
"Seize the day"
 
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Reactions: sserafim

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