Story Which med next/panic

[LittleJem]

I had a few days off depression thanks to Ketamine. Yesterday morning it came back. Now I feel panicked, low, desperate.

I have 3 days of packing my stuff at my ex husband's. We split due to my mental illness, after 8 long suffering years. I need energy not exhaustion. I hope this Tramadol will help me get this done.Also I really really want to go back to work and this is my last chance.

Just feel panicked and desperate, exhausted and low.

I have a choice of maybe five pills to try next, don't know which to choose:
Lithium Carbonate
Amitryptiline
Prozac
Sarcosine (when it arrives)
Zoloft
Lamictal (don't have this yet)

More dissociatives, but don't know how often I can take them...

Excuse me being long winded and impersonal, am not thinking straight

 

[TheBigBurden]

I know how you feel it's the worst when you have relief for a few days and then go right back to feeling awful it's like the dangling of a carrot in front of a horse. I'm glad you still have some options to try and I hope one works out for you.

 

[Sensei]

I've been meaning to write about this in more detail, but I'll give you a quick tip. Something which to my surprise, not to say shock, has given me both energy and boosted my mood is dextrose, the purer the better.

 

[k75]

First, why can't you take ketamine again? When they do the infusions or nasal treatment, they do multiples. Like a dose a week or a couple times a week... I'm not really sure. But it's not really a single use kind of thing, I'm guessing.

Well, I think I've told you about my experience with lithium carbonate before. I could be wrong, and I'm sorry if I am. I'm on heavy muscle relaxers right now LOL

Anyway, I really think lithium is keeping me alive because of how it combats the suicidal thoughts, but it does not really do anything for my depression at all, just the suicidal stuff.

But you really really really have to keep on top of your lithium level because it's dangerous that way. If you're not under the care of a doctor, I'm not sure I would recommend it. If you do try it, just get your levels checked every couple weeks and make sure you're not going toxic.

I had good luck with Prozac. I was on it for a few years, and I never suffered any side effects. A lot of people don't like it and they do have side effects, but I'm sure you know all about those.

The only reason I'm not still on it is because I reached the maximum safe dose and still felt like I needed more help. (Psychiatrists will not prescribe more than 80 mg, and I maxed out.)

I've wondered ever since if quitting was a mistake. Maybe I was just expecting too much.

If you do try Prozac, start with a low dose. Pretty much all my prescribers told me it's not really proven that more works better, even if they're allowed to prescribe bigger doses. The way they did it with me was start with 20 mg, and then doubled it until we got to 80 at my request.

The only drug that I have liked as much was Trintellix. Again, I've wondered if I just quit that too early or expected too much. I'm actually trying to make them put me back on Trintellix, but they don't want to for some reason. I'm fighting it.

 

[LittleJem]

Thank you @Sensei interesting tip! Please write more when you are ready - am sure everyone will be curious.

@k75 absolutely - I've been looking at Ketamine dosing today. Some treatment centres talk about dose frequency on their website eg one says: "Mood and pain disorders typically require a series of six treatments or more within a 2-3 week period and maintenance with booster infusions during the year. "
I definitely want a bigger supply of it. But not 100 per cent sure about safe use yet. I will post my collection of research articles sometime for everyone.

I wish you lots of luck getting back on Trintrillex. That is the one I tried for 3 months. I was quite sedated on it and still suicidal thoughts, which is why I came off. The few days after coming off any SSRI are generally the happiest days of my life. I have no idea why. For example, I took Zoloft for a week - hated the side effects - then came off and thought I was better for a whole month. Everyone else thought I was manic though. The jury is still out as to whether or not I have Bipolar. I don't think I do - but I was manic when just off the Zoloft for sure. On it, just the extra anxiety.

it's my last chance to return to work - so am thinking about doing this on Tramadol. Which helped me a lot today - together with some Polygala Tenuifoila sublinguinal. I've been told if I take it 3 times a week I can avoid tolerance and addiction. Don't know how to survive the other 4 days - but I guess some kind of drug thing. I want to go back to work at least for a few months, then if I need to leave again/permanently to test more anti-depressants and be bedridden for months on end, at least I will have a new project completed and under my belt. That's the dream anyway - whether Tramadol or Ketamine - just to go back to work if I can.

Looking at it sensibly, I can either wait a few weeks for my Sarcosine, which I am hoping will help, though it doesn't work for some people at all, there are others with good reviews. Or I do have Moclobemide/Selegiline/Memantine to test - and that is probably faster onset then another SSRI. I don't like SSRIs - I do think maybe I should test Prozac sometime or give Zoloft another chance, but I don't like the fear of raised anxiety to start them up. Maybe this is silly. In a month or two I might just bite the bullet and test Prozac.

Re Lithium - I did buy it online I'm afraid. I was going to test a low dose of 250mg which according to the internet doesn't need to be monitored. If it helped, I would then go and tell my psychiatrist and get it prescribed.

Re expecting too much - I know what you mean. I had the best success so far on St John's Wort - it took away my suicidal thoughts, but I still felt really neurotic and low and I just wanted and would like more than that. So the search continues. It is really hard to know what is a good enough response, and even if one med helps (which for me hasn't happened yet), will a different one help better.

I better sleep - I have so much packing to do tomorrow and seeing my mother, who is worrying about me. Than kyou all for your kind replies and lots of best wishes.

PS I am so long-winded! I am working on being moe concise :) ;) good night to anyone in my timezone

 

[k75]

@LittleJem One thing I wanted to mention about lithium is 250 might be a little low, so I'm not sure how much you'll be able to tell from it. My prescriber said 300 is usually the therapeutic dose they start with. So I guess it's close enough it might give you an idea. They started me with 450, and now I'm on 900.

This is my second time taking it at 900. The first time I went toxic, so we lowered it and worked back up, but this time I'm staying steady at a good level. I have no idea why, but it's good because it did not have a positive impact as far as suicidal ideation until I reached 900. Everything below that did not affect me much at all. So for me, 900 is the magic number. If I have to go below that I might as well not be taking it.

I'm not responding as well to it as I did the first time before I went toxic. The first time it completely got rid of all traces of being suicidal. No thoughts, no urges, nothing. It was like it it never even happened. This time, I have all of that still. It's just that it's less intense, just I don't usually feel inclined to act on it. It's basically keeping everything in check, but it's still there. If stressed out enough, I might act on it.