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madscotsman

madscotsman

Member
Nov 11, 2024
28
Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid
 
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ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
25
Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid
"Gee, this person seems like they could use some help. Let's lock them up and leave them alone with their thoughts for hours at a time."
 
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madscotsman

madscotsman

Member
Nov 11, 2024
28
"Gee, this person seems like they could use some help. Let's lock them up and leave them alone with their thoughts for hours at a time."
You meaning being on lockdown in the psych ward?
 
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madscotsman

madscotsman

Member
Nov 11, 2024
28
Basically, yeah.
Yea I've been on lockdown for verbal aggression which is literally just raising your voice, they don't allow to feel anger in the wards as that's just the psychosis playing the game, neither do they let you out once you're calm, they make you not ask to be let out or shout for 1 whole hour before they do, its a punishment. A timeout, not for helping you.
 
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ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
25
Yea I've been on lockdown for verbal aggression which is literally just raising your voice, they don't allow to feel anger in the wards as that's just the psychosis playing the game, neither do they let you out once you're calm, they make you not ask to be let out or shout for 1 whole hour before they do, its a punishment. A timeout, not for helping you.
Damn, hope things are better now.
 
ShatteredSerenity

ShatteredSerenity

I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
Nov 24, 2024
170
I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.
 
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madscotsman

madscotsman

Member
Nov 11, 2024
28
I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.
Same to everything
 
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S

scottchy

The sad wise old man
Dec 20, 2024
4
I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane. After my psychotic break earlier this year I'm pretty concerned about loosing my sanity again, and it's terrifying.
Holy shit!
I feel like i just read something that my own brain conceived
I can relate with everything said here friend
 
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B

bananaolympus

Member
Dec 12, 2024
16
Literally me im being bed bound 3+ years but finally my bone is ready for surgery first quarter good pronostic to walk again
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,781
yeah well they say being born is like being kidnap and then sold into slavery
 
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isolatedl111

isolatedl111

Experienced
Nov 25, 2024
206
Months spent without leaving the house, no human contact, eating the same foods, with nothing to do slowly driving you insane, its like a white room torture or solitary confinement Chinese water torture hybrid
I can relate to this so much.
 
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S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,458
I feel like a prisoner serving a life sentence in my broken mentally ill body. I spend almost all my time rotting in bed. My brain is sadistic, it doesn't allow any positive emotions and it torments me constantly with sad and traumatic memories. I can't talk to anyone because all I can think about is suicide. Sometimes I feel like the relentless monotony is literally driving me insane.
I relate to this so much😢
yeah well they say being born is like being kidnap and then sold into slavery
Who said that?because it sounds like fine poetry to how i am feeling right now
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,321
Yeah, I'm basically a prisoner if I am forced to do something that I don't want to do and have no way to escape it. For example, I don't want to live life and I have no desire to stay alive for even another second but I am forced to stay alive because society as well as the government are heavily restricting suicide methods. If I don't have control over my own body to choose if I want to no longer exist, I'm a prisoner
 
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P

pachamacha

Member
Sep 20, 2024
22
i been solitry confinment 2 years now im autistic i been institutions over 20 years i want to die so bad to get out of this life i dont know how to make knots and they watch me 24hrs a day i feel sick i dont even have mental illness hospitals make my autism worse im trapped
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,338
Prison planet
 
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darkest

darkest

BPD will be the death of me
Feb 2, 2024
22
yes, life is a prison that pretends to be a hospitable environment for thriving. how far can you really thrive in this fucked up painful existence without being forced for whatever reason? I genuinely don't understand "normal" people that are not suicidal and just live, somehow. they're just so blissfully unaware about the ridiculousness of life and how truly meaningless it is. I cannot comprehend a reason for someone with no desire to live to be forced to keep going. we're all going to die anyway, and death is, to me, a beautiful thing, that is beyond life, by all means, so why not just let go already of whoever you're forcing to stay in this insufferable existence and move the fuck on. we all are going to die anyway; the sun will explode and almost no trace of this miserable rock would stay around. why can't they just let go, I can't fucking do this anymore.

went a lil off track there, point is, I'm determined to escape this gloomy prison cell and catch that sweet four/six-wheeled vehicle outta here.
 
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RoyalBengalAutistic

RoyalBengalAutistic

Member
Oct 14, 2024
23
That is what my life has become since COVID breakout.
 
alivebutnotliving

alivebutnotliving

“The suffering said we go around”
Dec 16, 2024
22
I once was sent to a psychiatric ward that practiced solitary confinement in this dark, concrete room where i happened to be placed for hours. I find my everyday life to be reminiscent of how I felt in there, and honestly it's quite triggering. You are not wrong to feel this way. Best wishes ❣️
 
FinalVoid25

FinalVoid25

Member
Dec 22, 2024
12
I can thankfully still go outside without too much trouble, but besides getting food I barely see any need for it. I have 2 people I can call friends, and even with those I have trouble finding a topic to talk about nowadays. It feels like everything important has been said and observed and now this "life" is just like watching others who are the real humans live their life, like I am a failed experiment that is forced to watch and learn what life is supposed to be but I just can't replicate the actions I see performed. It all feels like a cruel game.
 

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