Why do i feel happy knowing that my family/friends will suffer due to my death?

[LastDayOnEarth]

I find myself fantasizing of the aftermath after I CTB and I feel somewhat happy knowing people close to me will cry in pain after I die

Maybe it's because I don't understand why they value life so much while loathe it

 

[sweeterx_]

It really depends on your situation but maybe it's resentment and the feeling you know something they don't. But it could also be something lighter like the knowledge they care about your existence.

 

[Sando_1737]

Eh, not alone in feeling that way

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I may be wrong, but these are resentments or some kind of bitterness. Try to get rid of them if that is the case. Nothing really deserves these feelings. Transfer them to life. Life is the great cause of everything that is useless, of everything that rots and smells bad. Try not to hate people, hate life.