Discussion Why do so many consider suicide notes necessary?

[oatmeal.n]

I've been thinking for a bit as my ctb date creeps closer, and I've been considering writing notes to loved ones for the sake of closure. as i think about it more, though, i don't understand why i should, and why so many other people do as well. for context, i don't have many people close to me. i have about 3 people who actually matter to me, but that don't particularly like me. i don't see why writing notes is necessary, or people feel the need to do it in the first place. everyone will be grieving regardless, whether notes are written, or not. it might be considered the 'right thing to do', but depending on your method, you'll be out before any of that will matter. you will be dead. i would say im a fairly compassionate person, but this stumps me because i have no idea how to logically refute the idea that the notes don't matter. you will be gone, complete peace and emptiness. you won't have the capacity to think about your actions or regret, that's why its such a perfect solution to many, nothing will matter! if you're willing to put your loved ones through grief, (putting yourself over your loved ones for respect towards your own mental health, physical health, etc.) and never face their reactions toward it, why not ctb the easiest way possible? the only two things that make sense is closure & religion. religion because themes of afterlife are present, and closure because, well, closure.

sorry if this is a dumb question, but its really bugging me because I can't get the concept of eternal peace/loss of consciousness out of my head to think about this rationally. (if you can't tell, im just trying to get my ideas out on paper without forgetting everything in an instant). id love to hear your reasonings or at least a dumbed down version of them.

 

[PI3.14]

For me it's simple, my intention is not to bring my loved ones closure, cus nothing will, but rather to answer their "why".

I listed all the reasons that pushed me to take this action so they aren't left confused. Although, my family already know my reasons but I'm writing them down anyways just to make sure.

 

[Carrot]

People will grieve regardless, but having a note with some explanations can help the grieving. I care about the well being of others, and do not wish harm to others.
It can help the authorities, murder can never be ruled out, but having a note can ease the situation.

 

[cowboypants]

I thought initially i would write a suicide note now i don't plan to. I hate my parents. I talk with my sister somewhat. That's about it.

Even if i die it won't be completely clueless to my relatives or stuff. I've struggled a lot. If anything I feel like people wonder how am even alive it's been 8 years being like a NEET actually a little more since I used to not go to my college a lot. It's not necessary

 

[Pale_Rider]

Im not leaving one. No explanation is going to really b accepted any way.

 

[lament.]

I think a note would be a good thing to do if your loved ones do not know you are struggling / what specifically was ailing you. On the point of it not mattering because you are gone, while true, you will be dead, the people around you won't be. Your loved ones will search for a reason as to why you have died and it would suck if they came to the conclusion that it was their fault when it is not. You will not face their reactions to it, but their reactions will happen. Even if that won't matter to you when you are dead, it can matter to you now.

I think at the end of the day it depends how close to them you are, how much you think they would blame themselves/how much they already know and how much you believe you owe them an explanation for your suicide.

 

[TBONTB]

I've been thinking for a bit as my ctb date creeps closer, and I've been considering writing notes to loved ones for the sake of closure. as i think about it more, though, i don't understand why i should, and why so many other people do as well. for context, i don't have many people close to me. i have about 3 people who actually matter to me, but that don't particularly like me. i don't see why writing notes is necessary, or people feel the need to do it in the first place. everyone will be grieving regardless, whether notes are written, or not. it might be considered the 'right thing to do', but depending on your method, you'll be out before any of that will matter. you will be dead. i would say im a fairly compassionate person, but this stumps me because i have no idea how to logically refute the idea that the notes don't matter. you will be gone, complete peace and emptiness. you won't have the capacity to think about your actions or regret, that's why its such a perfect solution to many, nothing will matter! if you're willing to put your loved ones through grief, (putting yourself over your loved ones for respect towards your own mental health, physical health, etc.) and never face their reactions toward it, why not ctb the easiest way possible? the only two things that make sense is closure & religion. religion because themes of afterlife are present, and closure because, well, closure.

sorry if this is a dumb question, but its really bugging me because I can't get the concept of eternal peace/loss of consciousness out of my head to think about this rationally. (if you can't tell, im just trying to get my ideas out on paper without forgetting everything in an instant). id love to hear your reasonings or at least a dumbed down version of them.

You can do whatever makes sense to you, you don't have to find the logic behind it.

That being said, I think the idea of explanation is the most compelling for people who would get a note....especially to let them know they couldn't have changed anything. Or to let them know you wanted to escape suffering. But, you can do what you want.

 

[gottacheckout]

My family is all gone and there are just a few people that matter to me enough to leave a note. Interestingly, they know how I've struggled all my life so my note wouldn't be explaining why. The notes would be about how important they were to me.

All those that tortured and tormented me are no longer on this earth, in this earth yes.

 

[Dejected 55]

"Why do so many consider suicide notes?"

Hard to say how many "consider" it... but on average less than a third of people actually leave them... so despite what you might think. most people by a fairly wide margin do not leave notes.

 

[Doll Steak]

Closure, giving them the why's on why I did it, it's tormenting enough to lose someone, I know that. Even more so without any explanation, I prefer to write a note so to minimize some suffering that my death may impose upon family or friends, either way it wont change the suffering factor but it feels right to give a final message/goodbye. Of course I'd be unconscious so no true regrets or sympathy or compassion, but while I'm alive, It's the very least I could do to guide them through mourning.

 

[kopebaldy]

I want to tell people that it isn't their fault, I simply built wrong lol.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not about us though. It's about them. If we care about them in the slightest. That's not to say people necessarily should care if they've been treated poorly their whole life. But, occassionally we do get people on the forum that have lost loved ones to suicide. Some are deeply upset about not knowing why. Presumably not being left any form of explanation. I just think a note provides sone degree of closure. Plus, I imagine it speeds up the process for police to definitely rule it as a suicide if there is a note.

 

[Unicron]

I wrote a note, but did it after I'd taken my OD, so it wasn't the most coherent thing I've ever written. LOL.