
SchizophrenicFantasy
Member
- Aug 18, 2020
- 12
Hey everyone I haven't been here for about 3 months now, I bet most of the other people I knew all those months ago watching them post are no longer here with me. And I wish them all nothing but love and peace as they would wish me, I never thought I'd come back here I tried so hard to make everything better but ended up back into self harm and drugs. I thought I had my everything back on track but it all seems so pointless now. I lost my job "again" and I got denied benefits. Multiple times not to mention that my parents are now taking or attempting to take legal custody/guardianship of my two oldest children. They will most likely succeed in that my mother works closely with child services and is a masters degree therapist and I feel as though she and my dad have more legal pull per say than I would. I told her every night I was having schizophrenic symptoms or in a depressive episode and now I'm diagnosed on top of everything with bi polar disorder. According to my mother every last little symptom I've had has been written down and documented as well as if my apartment is dirty when she comes to visit kids pictures are taken and documented as well. I'm absolutely fucked anyway I can put it in my mind, my mind is jumbled and I'm trying to make sense of this world and what is being thrown at me but I've given so much time effort and thought into all of this I'm so tired of it all. I don't know exactly what method I'm going to use as my views about my method have changed since I was last here and I have acquired more materials that would benefit my new method but I will keep everyone aware up until the final moments.