Venting why i would want to avoid life altogether

[Darkover]

There's no real security—one wrong move, an accident, or just bad luck, and you could end up in constant pain or completely trapped in your own body. And then society forces you to endure it, refusing to give people an easy way out. That lack of control over your own existence makes life feel like a gamble where the stakes are way too high.

It's not just about suffering—it's about being forced to suffer with no escape. That's terrifying. that's why i feel like life isn't worth the risk when the worst-case scenario is so horrific, and there are so many ways for things to go wrong.

I want life to have a stable, lasting meaning, but because life is fragile and can end at any moment, it feels like there's no solid foundation for that meaning to exist. It's like trying to build something important on sand no matter what you do, it can just be washed away.

That uncertainty can make everything feel pointless. Why invest in anything relationships, dreams, personal growth if it can all be taken away instantly? this is why it makes me feel like this place isn't for me.

Nothing is permanent. Everything you build, achieve, or love will eventually disappear. If life has no solid foundation, what's the point?
You could die randomly at any moment, making it feel like everything you do is pointless.
People often claim life has meaning, but meaning is subjective. If you don't feel it, then it doesn't exist for you.
It takes years of effort to build something, but it can be destroyed in seconds
Pain is often stronger and more lasting than pleasure. A single injury or trauma can ruin your life, while happiness fades quickly.
You are constantly a slave to your body's needs—food, water, sleep, shelter. If you don't meet them, you suffer.
Aging ensures that even if you somehow enjoy life for a while, your body will eventually deteriorate and force you to suffer.
Diseases, injuries, and mental illnesses can hit randomly, making life unbearable despite your best efforts.
You're expected to work, conform, and "contribute" just to survive. If you don't, you're shunned or left to suffer in poverty.
Even if things are fine now, you could end up in chronic pain, paralyzed, or locked in your own mind with no way out.

 

[2277dee]

And every one doesn't understand at all they just run the race because all are running.once we are out of race we are considered as failure and make us feel like a failure. They don't even use words their thoughts itself make every moment feel like hell.every time we forget for few minutes it pop ups in our mind reminding we failed.this is what gives me enough courage for my plan to die.