P
pyx
Wizard
- Jun 5, 2024
- 618
i'm unable to put ideas of recovery into practice. there is simply too much to consider and to mull over, and i feel incapable of doing so. recovery doesn't favour those like myself who are unable to think. i lack the motivation to improve my circumstances. i have been made only to rot, but i am not happy. perhaps contentment and general satisfaction is a privilege for minds well equipped to integrate into society. i find it all so tiresome
i know that nothing will come if i don't put in effort. for the longest time i have been trying to. in fact, my whole life has revolved around this. but nothing will ever come about. i'm not intelligent enough to critically think about the path to reintegration. something as simple as getting out of bed seems like a herculean task. i fear that blindly accepting dogmatic advice will harm me in the long term, since i am unable to critically examine and pick apart what works best in practice. i seek only to minimize pain currently, which entails coping through all forms of easy delusions and consuming the most degenerative media. all for some momentary and ephemeral pleasure which i constantly need to chase
i know that nothing will come if i don't put in effort. for the longest time i have been trying to. in fact, my whole life has revolved around this. but nothing will ever come about. i'm not intelligent enough to critically think about the path to reintegration. something as simple as getting out of bed seems like a herculean task. i fear that blindly accepting dogmatic advice will harm me in the long term, since i am unable to critically examine and pick apart what works best in practice. i seek only to minimize pain currently, which entails coping through all forms of easy delusions and consuming the most degenerative media. all for some momentary and ephemeral pleasure which i constantly need to chase