Venting Wont have internet for a few days.

[TheGoodGuy]

Since I am really poor and haven´t gotten any money from welfare this month I haven´t been able to pay my bills and my internet bill had to be paid by today the 28th so I assuming that they will cut my internet by tomorrow or at 12am in about an hour so that will be 3 days without internet.

It´s "funny" how I got kicked out of school in September for not attending since I had planned to ctb by then and they are so slow at giving people welfare in Denmark so I have gone all month with no money the only money I´ve had was some my parents gave me they even had to take a small loan so they could get by since they are poor too. So it´s "funny" how after I got kicked out of school and decided I wanted to get tested by a psychiatrist for a possible mental illness I haven´t gotten any help I will first have to see a doctor by the 1st November who then can refer me to a psychiatrist if she feels it is needed and in this time of turmoil and close to suicide a person need financial stability which I got none I need money for food especially junk food as a cope and also because I have a problem with my throat so junkfood makes me able to get more calories to maintain my weight instead of eating bland boring shit day in and day out. I also recently made a thread about how drugs save people from ctb because on the particular day a person might have ctb but they were able to cope with alcohol or drugs and I can´t cope with either food, alcohol or drugs the keyword here is cope in this hard time for me where I had planned for 3 years to kill myself in August/September I decided not to because of guilt over it will ruin my parents life I am still struggling with those thought and I still want to ctb maybe soon.

Anyways as I said the keyword is cope and in this hard time I actually need more money than I normally would have so I can cope junkfood and occasionally alcohol or drugs and soon I will lose my internet is the universe just trying to smoke me or what!? I have no mind altering chemicals (alcohol or illegal drugs) not even good food only rye bread, oats and red lentils to eat and soon I won´t even have internet I only have under 1 pack of cigarettes that is my only cope being poor is one of the worst things ever especially when a person like me doesn´t have a healthy body and need money to treat it hense the junkfood to keep up with calories (I am an 58kg male 170cm tall) I also need more steroid creme for my psoriasis but I can´t afford it and some other ointments for my defect body I really hope I get the money I need for next month which SHOULD be 2x welfare one for this month and one for next month since it takes the government 4 weeks to process a case.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Anyways I hope you will read my venting even though it´s a bit long..

 

[faex42]

Sorry to heart that. Without the Internet my depression would go through the roof. I don't have a TV.
I didn't know that Denmark was so slow in giving cash benefits.
Actually the US is far wore if you are adult male but that's besides the point

 

[DeletedUser4739]

Since I am really poor and haven´t gotten any money from welfare this month I haven´t been able to pay my bills and my internet bill had to be paid by today the 28th so I assuming that they will cut my internet by tomorrow or at 12am in about an hour so that will be 3 days without internet.

It´s "funny" how I got kicked out of school in September for not attending since I had planned to ctb by then and they are so slow at giving people welfare in Denmark so I have gone all month with no money the only money I´ve had was some my parents gave me they even had to take a small loan so they could get by since they are poor too. So it´s "funny" how after I got kicked out of school and decided I wanted to get tested by a psychiatrist for a possible mental illness I haven´t gotten any help I will first have to see a doctor by the 1st November who then can refer me to a psychiatrist if she feels it is needed and in this time of turmoil and close to suicide a person need financial stability which I got none I need money for food especially junk food as a cope and also because I have a problem with my throat so junkfood makes me able to get more calories to maintain my weight instead of eating bland boring shit day in and day out. I also recently made a thread about how drugs save people from ctb because on the particular day a person might have ctb but they were able to cope with alcohol or drugs and I can´t cope with either food, alcohol or drugs the keyword here is cope in this hard time for me where I had planned for 3 years to kill myself in August/September I decided not to because of guilt over it will ruin my parents life I am still struggling with those thought and I still want to ctb maybe soon.

Anyways as I said the keyword is cope and in this hard time I actually need more money than I normally would have so I can cope junkfood and occasionally alcohol or drugs and soon I will lose my internet is the universe just trying to smoke me or what!? I have no mind altering chemicals (alcohol or illegal drugs) not even good food only rye bread, oats and red lentils to eat and soon I won´t even have internet I only have under 1 pack of cigarettes that is my only cope being poor is one of the worst things ever especially when a person like me doesn´t have a healthy body and need money to treat it hense the junkfood to keep up with calories (I am an 58kg male 170cm tall) I also need more steroid creme for my psoriasis but I can´t afford it and some other ointments for my defect body I really hope I get the money I need for next month which SHOULD be 2x welfare one for this month and one for next month since it takes the government 4 weeks to process a case.

I read it all and my heart hurts for you. I hope you're able to get what you need to survive soon. You make some good points. I wish I weren't so tired/medicated and could better respond to them.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Sorry to heart that. Without the Internet my depression would go through the roof. I don't have a TV.
I didn't know that Denmark was so slow in giving cash benefits.
Actually the US is far wore if you are adult male but that's besides the point

I don´t have a TV either luckily I have a lot of movies and series on an external hard-drive. I also don´t have any internet on my cellphone again because I haven´t been able to pay my bills. I also don´t have any friends to hang out with I am on my computer from I wake up till I go to bed so I have nothing to do.

And yes everyone thinks Denmark is such a good country in terms of welfare (the security net) but it´s really not.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I read it all and my heart hurts for you. I hope you're able to get what you need to survive soon. You make some good points. I wish I weren't so tired/medicated and could better respond to them.

Thanks I am glad you took the time to read it all. And regardless of my financial situation next month I WILL buy 1 bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Gold when/if I get money the 31/10 it´s the only thing I have been looking forward to for a whole month so I´ll be damned if I am not getting just that one thing!

 

[faex42]

That is similar.I start out with computer in the morning and I end every evening on the computer. Friendships exist but I see very little of them.

 

[Lra888]

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with such shit and I hope this get sorted out for you soon.

From my own experience depression mixed with poverty is absolute hell. In America, trying to get welfare/benefits can be a Kafkaesque nightmare especially - as the above poster said - you are male without a child.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with such shit and I hope this get sorted out for you soon.

From my own experience depression mixed with poverty is absolute hell. In America, trying to get welfare/benefits can be a Kafkaesque nightmare especially - as the above poster said - you are male without a child.

I don´t think I have depression I used to have it several years ago and it doesn´t feel like I have depression now still I am very suicidal and all of this financial trouble doesn´t help, I need money to be able to relax and COPE! How can a person try and change their mindset if they have to constantly obsess over how they´re going to feed themselves? Simple they can´t it´s impossible to work on oneself if you don´t have the essentials covered.

 

[faex42]

I survive only because of the kindness of my relatives. I have no guarantees that any of them will continue to help. I'm grateful for what they have been willing to do. I am terrified at the idea of living in the streets. I take the money they give and put in in a bank account that I try to reserve for rent only. I have few possessions. Very few clothes. I receive SS. My experience is also that depression mixed with poverty is indeed absolute Hell. For years it has been the percipient to the onset of suicidal thinking and major depression. Even when I was working steadily for six years, the fear that I might lose my job was enough to start the depression rolling again. There are other factors but for me poverty, fear of homelessness, and depression are never not linked.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I read it all too. I'm honestly surprised. I thought the welfare in Denmark worked more smoothly. Your situation sucks.