Discussion Worse to have loved and lost or have never been loved at all?

[PlannedforPeru]

I'm surprised I haven't seen this poll yet despite searching for it. We've all suffered in different ways, and we are most in touch with our own suffering.

The question is changed from the saying, instead of better, the question is asking which is worse.

What do you think? I suspect most will choose the option aligning with their situation, but I'm really interested to see your reasons as to why you believe the way that you do.

 

[deadstillwalking]

Hah, this one's really subjective, people can choose both options depending on how they look at it. Love it. I'd say "loved and lost" is significantly worse tho.

 

[Darkover]

it's worse to Never have been loved at all
never experiencing love can indeed seem like missing out on something fundamental to being human.

 

[swankysoup]

Being loved as a child is necessary to grow up as a functioning adult. Do you mean romantic love? While it may not be necessary, most people who never felt that love are not doing well. If you compared people who had romantic partners to people who had none, you know which group is doing better in life.

 

[cantdecidenameeven]

My biggest conspiracy theory is that she loved me. Some of her actions proved it, some quite the opposite. Maybe she was just a fool and maybe I was too in a way. I never took her back, I couldn't. I want to, but I can't handle love...not like this. So hot and cold. She was an emotional rollercoaster

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Being loved as a child is necessary to grow up as a functioning adult. Do you mean romantic love? While it may not be necessary, most people who never felt that love are not doing well. If you compared people who had romantic partners to people who had none, you know which group is doing better in life.

Yeah, I'd say the question applies specifically to the ones that would typically be developed throughout life (romantic / deeply platonic love) more so than parental or familial love; I might edit the question, but I won't be against people casting for all types of love either as it stands currently.

 

[swankysoup]

Yeah, I'd say the question applies specifically to romantic / deeply platonic love (the ones that are developed) more so than parental or familial love; I might edit the question, but I won't be against people casting for all types of love either as it stands currently.

Our development is tied to our relationships. People living in isolation go mad. We absolutely need other people. The question which kind of love we need is complicated. The ability to find romantic partners and platonic friends is definitely a sign of good chances to survive, which i think say a lot.

 

[Tuonetar_]

Never loved at all is definitely worse, in my view.

There are two old romantic relationships I used to be in that I still look on fondly to this day. Obviously, neither one of them worked out in the end, and the break ups were painful at the time, but I made so many positive memories and experienced so many knew things that I don't regret it one bit. Getting ready for a date and feeling butterflies in my stomach, laughing with them until I cried, getting dragged to art exhibitions I said I wasn't interested in but I ended up really enjoying, the feeling of hair between my fingers, crying on their shoulder after a difficult day at work, drinking a little too much and having sloppy sex on the couch, falling asleep (and waking up next to) a person I really loved... all of these things are wonderful experiences that enriched my life for the better, and the thought of going through life without ever experience that kind of emotional and physical intimacy makes me very sad.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

My personal opinion is that it's worse to have loved and lost. I say this as somebody who has never been loved btw. If I was loved and I lost it, I would hate it immensely because I would want more of it and being unable to receive more love would make me miserable. However, since I never been loved, ignorance is bliss as I don't crave love

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Why do i have to want to get a partner or think love is important?

Why do i have to think that being loved is important . i don't .

why do i have to think that me or a human or life or living or anything is important?

to me None of that garbage is important. life , love everything is meaningless unimportant. nothing matters .

the only thing that matters to me is avoiding pain , suffering problems and getting to suicide asap.

can somone tell my why i have to want love or anything in life or do do anything ? life and everything in it is meaningless. to me : except avoiding extreme pain and suffering and getting to my suicide asap

the only thing that matters to me is avoiding pain , suffering problems and getting to suicide asap. ironically what i've seen is that relationships with other humans cause suffering , grief , heartbreak, cringe , worrry ,problems . why would i want any of that? but it's not just because of that it's far deeper . it's not important at all , it's total garbage . i don't see anything in life as good important valuable

I've seen so many just on thud site suicidal just because of the love relationship breakup. So this is such a great thing? Can you say scam like life is a scam

i don't need a relationship or other primates . i don't need anything except to get to non-existence

to me it's the same as watching a bug crawl this way or that or a blade of grass . both are made of cells .all are boring meaningless .

 

[lalaloopsies]

interesting poll. i've been thinking about it a lot lately. i think i would have rather lived my life never experiencing being loved so that i would know what it felt like. sort of like a "if i've lived without it before, i can live continue to live without it" sort of mentality. but once you've experienced the joy of someone actually wanting and loving you unconditionally, so much more is at stake

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I'm surprised I haven't seen this poll yet despite searching for it. We've all suffered in different ways, and we are most in touch with our own suffering.

The question is changed from the saying, instead of better, the question is asking which is worse.

What do you think? I suspect most will choose the option aligning with their situation, but I'm really interested to see your reasons as to why you believe the way that you do.

lol why'd you switch it up; I almost picked the wrong one

 

[lilah]

seem like missing out on something fundamental to being human.

sometimes i wonder if i'm even human bc i've never been loved.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

lol why'd you switch it up; I almost picked the wrong one

I almost put it the right way around, but I decided a negative emphasis fits better under the context of Suicide Discussion. There's a bit more behind my thought process earlier in the day but I can't do it justice rn.

 

[soledad.virgen]

loved and lost. there is a pain in yearning for what you can't imagine. but i think it's worse knowing what was there, and knowing it's over. you're left with an emptiness that's just there, always present and on your mind.

 

[MentalFuneral]

Never being loved at all. Lacking friends or a partner or really anyone who loves you is the sort of thing that utterly destroys a person. Having loved and lost gives you life experience and perspective that allows you to be a more well-adjusted person. Lacking that positivity ends up feeding into itself and can cause a neverending downwards spiral